I have no friends...How can I make some?

Question

the semester is over and im sorta disappointed cuz i didnt make that many new friends..and nearly all my high school "friends" dont talk to me anymore..so im alone in my dorm a lot...also i found out that these 3 guys on my floor who r nice to my face actually talk about me behind my back...and i feel so alone cuz i have like 3 good friends here...i want to join a club, frat, sport or something so i can make some friends...but i have like no idea what to join...and im not sure about frats..
Im an 18 year old college freshemn by the way

Answer 1

At the college level, friendships are often made based on common interests. So don't join anything that you aren't actually interested in, but do join a couple of clubs. Go to the meetings, and volunteer to help out with stuff. The more often you are around these people, the more likely it will be that you'll become friends with them.

The beginning of next semester is a good time to start doing stuff like this. Most clubs will hold meetings during those first couple of weeks, and will be looking for new members. Try out a few clubs that interest you. See which ones are most appealing, and stick with those. As for which ones, try any that are of interest. If you did anything like a club in high school that you liked, you can let that guide you.

If the idea of a fraternity is appealing to you, you can try that. Sports as well. Sports is a very good way of getting deeply involved with something that others are very interested in, and friendships can develop. If there's a sport, even at the club level, that you can do, it'd be worth it to try. I think sports may be a really good way in to making friends, for you, if you're not so sure about frats. Another high impact friending situation is theater, if you're interested in that. You don't have to be an actor, either. You can work backstage. The sheer number of hours spent together in sports and theater, combined with the mutual interest in the subject, plus the after-hours stuff that tends to happen, can be a great way to find friends.

Anything like that - long hours, mutual interest, and social stuff outside the immediate activity - can lead to fast friendships. So depending on your interests and talents try:
- sports
- theater
- band
- clubs/organisations based around ethnic or social groups, if you fit (African American students, Caribbean students, Gay students, etc.)
- becoming a resident assistant
- gaming clubs (role playing games, computer games, etc.)
- campus radio station
- clubs based on mutual interests that aren't always mainstream (so people tend to gang together - Sci Fi, goth, chess, etc.)

So figure out what you might be interested in, and join up. See what happens. Have a bit of patience. See where it goes.

As for the living situation - perhaps get a fresh start with that as well. You could try moving to a new hall, or a different style of residence, and see if that works better for you. If you're in a typical dorm, and it feels too isolating, maybe try a suite, where you all share a common living room. And try to do some things in that living area, such as study or watch tv, so that you're out there and seen as accessible. Have a big bag of snacks at hand, and if someone sits nearby, offer them. Stupid, simple things, but with time, it can work.

Answer 2

You're just getting started.... honestly in the end put books over friends. You will emerge more successful. The best way to make friends is through common interests, and a good way to do that is by joining extracurriculars. Think about what you are interested in, what your major is... you can join academic clubs related to your major or area of interest. If you are athletic and like a particular sport you can do intramurals or even clubs (which take up a bit more time). If you have a personal hobby look into what clubs are offered. If you get involved you will meet some great people that share your interests. First quarter is always the toughest. By this time next year you will be a much more reassured student and person. Don't get discouraged at the start. And remember that your primary reason for going to college is to get an education.

Answer 3

You seem to have the right idea, but now you just have to carry through on it. Decide what really interests you, because you can't expect to go to one meeting, make a set of fast friends, and never go back. If you join a frat, you will be in a frat for the rest of your college career. The same is true of a sport or club, since that was the basis for your meeting those people, and it is likely that they are interested in continuing in those activities.

Expect to have to take the initiative a lot at first. After practice, for example, you can say, "I'm starved. Does anybody else want to go and get something to eat?" Or at a meeting, if you had heard of some activity going on over the weekend, you can say, "Is anyone planning on going to that concert on Saturday?" Remember that guys are action-oriented, so unlike girls, they have to feel that you are going to be doing something in order to stick around and talk. "I'm going for a run now. Does anyone think he can beat me?," is more likely to get a response than, "Want to hang around on Thursday night?"

Answer 4

Great suggestions above!

I joined a fraternity when I was in college and met some of the most amazing people because of it. Most people who hate on Greeks either had a bad experience with a Greek house or never joined... but rarely do you see Greeks hating on Greeks.

Enough with that though... some more tips.
Have you heard of the 2 week rule? Essentially you have 2 weeks from the beginning of each quarter or semester to make new friends in your class, at your dorm, and around campus. After those 2 weeks, people setting in and are not as friendly.

1) Find a job that forces you to talk to a lot of people and be in the public eye. Ex. working at the coffee shop on campus.
2) Switch around where you sit at class! Sit near other classmates, introduce yourself. Don't sit in the back!!!! Sit in the front. Make small talk before class starts (so did you do last night's assigned reading? etc.) If you meet people, sit next to them again during the next class.
3) Study at the library, not at your room. Switch up your studying location, move it to the student center, then to a coffee shop, etc.
4) Who cares if your hallmates suck, ignore them. Find other people!
5) Join worthwhile organizations that may have people with similar interests as yourself.
6) Start a facebook account and stay connected with class, hall, & dorm mates.
7) Talk to your Residential Advisor (if you have one). Let them know you'd like to meet more people! I'm sure they are a bucket of knowledge and can help you out!

Hope these suggestions help!

- chris
http://www.yoursash.com

Answer 5

Get out and talk to more people...there not going to fall in your lap. Dont join a frat though those are bad news. Join a club that suits your interests-make new friends. There are so many clubs and organizations at college its amazing. Just get out and see whats there for you!

Answer 6

Somehow busy yourself so you do not think about this. When you run across someone nice, invite them over and slowly you will have your group. Ignore the people who may be talking about you. Throw a party and invite a few people to watch a game or a movie. You do not have to spend much. Later you can even go dutch. People are drawn to people who throw a party. When my kids were smaller this friend built such a clout by throwing parties that people were afraid of offending her ever from fear of exclusion.
Yes, most importantly focus on school and avoid people who may be engaged in destructive behavior like binge drinking and pot. After all best revenge is success.

Answer 7

Go ahead and join some clubs, and frats are nothing to be scared of, they're a great way to meet new people and to socialize! Just be more outgoing, talk to people, and keep your room open when you're in the dorm..people will feel welcome then! (But lock it when you're away!)

Answer 8

Just focus on school and in the end you will come out better. Join any club you find interesting and don't listen to what the others are saying about you. There probably just jealous.

Answer 9

do you work? you can meet some there. or at the weight room. join a rec league for basketball etc. but don't do it looking for friends. just be yourself. I never did the frat deal, didn't quite understand it.

Answer 10

Try to be outgoing, have a good sense of humor and be generally interested in other people.

Since you are in your freshman year it is only going to get easier for you.