I know this more than likely gets asked 24/7 but when you got a divorce how did you cope with it. Maybe it is the best thing but it hurts. Like I get emotional and then pissed off. People have done it before me and will do it after me and I know eventually it wont hurt as bad but in the mean time what did you do? I'll hafta see his family still and the hurt is going to still be there like a slap in the face. Knowing I stood by his *** through sh*t no woman should hafta to but "through thick and thin til death do us part " and now things are the slight bit hard for him he wants out. What did you do to move on? What helped you the most?
2007-12-12 04:39:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank yall. Seriously Its great advise and for the first time since we've been together I've started thinking about just my future not our's.
2007-12-12 05:11:44 · update #1
Lisa,
The best way to handle is to believe that it is not because of your fault or his fault or anybody else's fault. It just happened and now what needs to be done is to move on. Once you believe this, then no more abuses or blame games or foul languages come into play. There wont be anymore feeling of being used. Hurt will be there, that is there in everything, everywhere. But we try to forget as quickly as possible and move on.
Imagine your finger getting injured, you try to keep your mind away from it. If you keep on looking at it, you will feel more pain though the pain would not have changed at all.
Dear, for some reason, things have happened in your marriage. And the separation is looking at your face. Make it less difficult for you by making it abuse-less, hurt-less as possible. Look at what you need to move on in life. See whether you have enough money, whether you have friends or family to depend on, whether you have someone trustable to lean on or cry to, see what will you do in future, how best you can cope with this.. one needs to do so many things.. in the meanwhile, why spend time on something which is over..
Life has to go on.. and one needs to make the separation as easy and troublefree and respectable for each other.
Please make sure you dont fall for another guy soon. You need time to heal your injured heart, you need to pick up strength, you need to learn to how to differentiate guys coming to affect your heart or those who will care for you,. Use this time for all those. It is easy to get attached to another one soon, please dont fall into that trap.
Then spend time on things you love to do, I am sure there may be plenty like that. Learn to enjoy doing the things the sweet old girl you liked to do before getting into this marriage, so many things, so many so many things you can do.
Make sure you take care of yourself, have good food, try to turn your thoughts from hurt, and try to be happy.
You will soon get out of all this and move on in life. And you will become a stronger, more wonderful woman. And you will one day find someon who will treat you with care and affection you deseve.
Take care.. I will pray for you.. all the best..
2007-12-12 05:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by doer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS THE DEATH OF A RELATIONSHIP, and it is sad, the grieving process must go on, hanger, sadness, rejection, the pain is all too real and it is no use going against it, you will go through it an eventually you Will come out on the other side.
While you work out all those emotions through your system, KEEP a journal,write down every Little or big thing that surfaces use the most explicit words you can think of
( Yes swearing words are allowed, the more the better)
you never know you my be writing a best seller that will make you wealthy, if not no matter but you would have let out a lot of stuff that if held in will make you ill.
AS you get better and better, start setting out goals for yourself, more education may be, starting a new busyness,(we all excel at something) creating a new look for yourself, spoiling yourself, (a lot )
My good wish fo you and any other lady that are going through the same story, is that by the time your hubby realizes what they lost and want to crawl back, you can tell him with a smile GET LOST
2007-12-12 13:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Loretta M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If there is anything human left inside you, the pain, hurt, and shame don't go away. You learn to cope. Pack it up and bury it under other stuff. After the first couple of times uncovering it, you learn the pain full lesson, don't. if you have to deal with you ex daily, you become hard and calloused, then go home and cry.
Many will tell you the pain goes away over time. They've just learn the above lesson and believe the lie that they have healed. if you how to dig, it's there. I unintentionally did this to some Friends as I searched for answers.
The problem with divorce as in life, the Innocent pay.
2007-12-12 12:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by cmrwash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am actually going to a support group where we meet once a week it is for divorce and separated individuals, maybe there is one in your area. Good Luck you need all the support you can get thought this stage of your life, its been a year and a half and I am still feeling the pain also.
2007-12-12 12:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got counseling for me and my boys, its was the best thing that I have ever done. My ex wife was cheating and it was really hard to stay but also hard to let go ...... so I went to counseling and I am a new man. This was years ago now and I have a new wife, she is the best and I think counseling helped me make a better choose this time around. Its also helps me in my new marriage.
2007-12-12 12:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by Timbo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each day, the pain and hurt get a little less deep. Time does heel all wounds, but the emotional ones just take longer. Keep your chin up, and know that the sun will come up tomorrow.
2007-12-12 12:49:32 · answer #6 · answered by Scott M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looked at myself i the mirror and decided that I was OK.....nothing wrong with me.....sat daown planned where I wanted to be in 10 yrs then went out did only what I needed to do to get there....never looked back....it is a new opportunity for you to become the person YOU want to be
2007-12-12 12:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was like a weight lifted from me. Sure there were off days, when I'd begin to feel sorry for myself. But in my heart I knew I did the best thing. He IS, WAS, always will be a loser.
I made a foolish mistake in marrying him in the first place.
When one is busy with life, and raising 4 children minus his assistance, it was quite easy to remain sane, AND happy!
The best part ........the loneliness was gone.
2007-12-12 13:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah, it hurts. it sucks. absolutely. unfortunately time heals all wounds. In the meantime, try telling yourself that what they did said so much about them. When people show you who they are, believe them. You're obviously better off without them, and in time, it'll be worth it. really, it will.
I went thru hell with my now ex wife, and have moved on. it takes time and patience with oneself. Let yourself mourn the end of a marriage. it's natural and healthy.
2007-12-12 13:06:58 · answer #9 · answered by lmspencr 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I learnt to let go
cry as loud as you want, go on a 100%
feel the sadness, go on a 100%
laught over it, go on a 100%
life is short
it's my life, tell yourself that
2007-12-12 12:47:54 · answer #10 · answered by lost man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋