How do I know the proper rent amount to charge my boyfriend & how do I break it to him?

Question

I have a great job making decent money and my boyfriend who moved in last year also had a great job. Since July of this year he has not had a job. I pay around 1400 per month for a condo, association, and energy bills. Boyfriend does not pay me, but helps around the house and takes me out to eat. He is a gem, however, I do not want to be taken advantage of and I shouldn't be the only one paying on the condo that we both live in. I am just not sure what is fair to charge him. Most people I talk to say half. I have charged him before, and have not heard the end of it. Please help me out. Fellow Yahooher

Answer 1

First, tell him to get up and get a job. Then, charge him half. Don't let him sit around all day doing whatever while you're out making the money and supporting him. He'll take advantage of you for sure if he thinks he can get away with it.

Answer 2

Charge him half of ALL the bills, not just the rent. If the two of you are living in the same place, using utilities and eating food there, you're BOTH liable for the charges for said usages.
He needs to step up and get himself a job! $1400 is quite a bit to have to shell out on your own when it should be both of you pitching in together. You're a sugar mama.
Don't worry, girl, so was I. It took my boyfriend over 2 months to find work and that whole time I was supporting both of us on a $10/hr job.
If he hasn't worked since June, he's probably not trying hard enough to get a job. Most people, when they put a good effort to it, can find work within a month.
I later found out that the reason it took him so long to find work is that he would only put in a 1 or 2 apps a week and the rest of the time, he was chatting up other girls and looking at porn online.
Your man may be a "gem" and all that, but he needs to BE a man and step up and help. I get the feeling he's gotten rather comfortable with the situation, but he needs to know your patience is wearing thin.
Ask him what you can do to help him find a job. Maybe ask around at your job and see if they or anyone they know is hiring.
The other downside to supporting your man or living together is you're never sure if he's with you for the free housing or if he actually WANTS to be there.
I found out my bf was here for the free housing. That's why he's gone. Of course he was a real "gem" while he was here. Very attentive, loving affectionate and all that, but as soon as I requested he move out, no more calls, no more hugs/kisses and whatnot.. just angry tension.
just beware..
It's MORE than fair to charge him!! he needs to help out and you are being taken advantage of.

Answer 3

If you have charged him his fair share of living expenses before and "have not heard the end of it," then he doesn't sound like a "gem" to me. A decent person should not be content to sponge off his or her significant other. He should take responsibility for at least a portion of the living expenses.

Is he looking for a job? He's been out of work a long time now. Perhaps he's not motivated to earn a living because he doesn't have to.

Generally speaking when two people are living together, household expenses (rent, utilities, groceries, etc.) should be split according to your incomes. In other words, if you make $60,000 per year and your significant other earns $40,000 per year, then the bills should be split 60-40. If your total bills are $2,000 a month, you should contribute $1,200 and your SO would contribute $800. This should be put in a household checking account from which the household bills are paid.

Good luck. Don't let him guilt you into supporting him.

Answer 4

His attitude sounds very familiar - I have a very long term boyfriend I am kicking out of my rented house right now. He pays much less than 1/2 the rent, never on time and I always have to ask for it.... and considering how I work full time and study but also do all the housework and pick up after him, pay for all the bills, groceries, furniture, replacements, everything .... I just worked out that I'd have more time, less worry AND financially break even if I lose his measly rent contributions.

Don't let yourself be taken advantage of any longer. The longer you do, then the more you will "not hear the end of it" whenever you try to speak up. If he can't see the sense in paying his fair share in life then he needs to learn how to fend for himself - just kick him out and get a girlfriend to move in :)

Answer 5

First, why has your bf remained unemployed for so long? Is he actively seeking employment?

Second, it isn't always about the money. If he's down on his luck with job prospects but is helping you around the house and is truly a gem, then I don't see anything wrong with your paying the bills since you can afford to.

Once he is back on his feet and has a job, then you can discuss what is "fair" for him to pay.

Answer 6

Take it from me; I currently live with my girlfriend in her apartment and when we first started out I wasn't able to afford paying her any rent because I was unemployed. Once I got a job; I promised to start paying her but we never really set an amount and she was too nice to kick me out or break up with me. I basically took advantage of her and it sounds like he is doing the same thing. If he is physically able to work; he needs to work.........rent is expensive and it is a cost of living; if he wants to LIVE in your condo; then he needs to pay you.

When he does get a job; I would ask him to pay 500 to start; but then tell him that ideally you would like 700 b/c its only fair. You are not his mom; but his partner.

Answer 7

My god, you looking for another boyfriend? He has it made, he doesn't work, and lives for free. He must be doing something right. I would say half would be a good place to start. How do you expect payment without a job? I would make that my number one criteria over paying rent.

Answer 8

Honey, here is a newsflash: You ARE being taken advantage of.

You are not married, you are not engaged, you are playing house. He has no incentive to look for a job with such a cushy arrangement.

Don't worry about how much he is going to pay...worry about how long you are going to put up with it before you kick him out!

If you decide to keep the loser, you NEED TO CHARGE HIM HALF!!!!!!

Don't be a doormat!

Answer 9

My suggestion is to look in the newspaper and on craigslist to see what people are charging for a room in a similar condo, (size, location, neighborhood). If he doesn't cooperate then kick him to the curb. You don't need a freeloader in your life, now do you?

Answer 10

Everything should be split evenly and if he has a problem with you charging him then you need to find another gem,sounds like he loves the free ride!