I am 29 she 25. We were together for 3 months. We were really into eachother and things went way to fast. We had sex within 3 days of knowing eachother and things skyrocketted. She expressed to me sometime that she needed space but was doing it so things didnt get messed up in teh future for us. Then she todl me that she agreed that things went to fast and kinda freaked her out. She had just got out a a verbally abusive relationship one month before me got together. She states that she was still messed up by her ex. She broke yup with me telling me she lost the spark, cause we were togther to much. She stated to me that she still wanted to talk to me and hang out and she will pronanly regret the decision to break up with me. My question is she still thinking of me? We never had any problems in our relationship she stated she wanted to marry me etc. She states today that this is not easy for her either and she would like to stay friends with me. Does this show she is confused right now?
2007-12-12 03:45:27 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her mother called me last night and said to me that she and her family really like me and that they want us to be together. She thinks he daughter is just being selfish and not looking at the whole picture. Her mom also told me that my ex has expressed to her on numerous occasions that she was unsure about how she felt about me. Me and my ex text’d each other for the first time today in about 5 days. I told her I was thinking of her and missed her. She replied as “this is not easy for her either and that she wanted to stay friends with me. Could it be that she is just confused with her feelings right now and being her friend will give her the time to understand her feelings. Or is she really done with me, but if she is why stay friends. I really fell hard for this girl and she did originally, but I just want some life experiences from anyone or advice. Could staying friends even though she states this is not easy for her a way for her to decide on what she wants.
2007-12-12 03:45:43 · update #1
You’re right about one thing—she is confused.
My advice is going to be hard for you to listen to because you want this girl way too much. You want her so much that you are allowing her to take you on an emotional roller coaster ride, and the more you pursue her, the more she will continue to run. If you allow yourself to take a step back, you will be able to learn a lot about this girl from the way she is dealing with everything. My guess is that she tends to second-guess her decisions, and she is somewhat indecisive. She probably has some powerful emotions and then expresses what she’s feeling at the time. I would also guess that she’s inclined to put too many things on her plate and then feel overwhelmed. You don’t realize it yet, but she is showing you exactly who she is, and how she will continue to be in the future. You guys may be perfect for each other but she has you completely off balance, and as long as you spend your time trying to recapture the way things were, you will remain off balance. In the process it will make you appear as though you are insecure and clingy to her, and it will obscure what attracted her to you in the first place.
You need a strategy.
Learn to be ok with her or without her. Be your own man. Draw your strength and your life from somewhere apart from her. If she is like I think she is, she needs you to be a strong and stable force in her life. I think she will come to her senses when she realizes that you are not sitting around and waiting for her, and she’ll decide that she won’t want to go through life without you. The key is for you to never depart from your strategy—ever—even if the two of you should get married. The moment you start drawing your life and strength from her is the moment you will begin to have relationship problems. Mark my words.
2007-12-12 04:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was on the rebound. I don't think she ever really had feelings for you. She needed you for the moment to help her forget the hurt she had the month prior to meeting you. Now the spark is gone and she realises that she isn't in love with you. She truly had no business jumping from one relationship to another. This usually does not work to anyone's advantage. At this point, take your leave and for the sake of your feelings have no contact with her or anyone else for a while. No point in you repeating what she did to you to someone else. Time heals all wounds.
2007-12-12 04:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, she just broke up with her ex. She needed a piece of t@il and you were it. She probably liked it enough to want a little more. That was comfortable. Now it's back to the relationship she had or at least trying to figure that out. If she needs another roll in the hay she'll likely be back. IF YOU LET HER! Don't. Have a little more respect for yourself.
2007-12-12 03:51:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need to plan out your life right now?
Enjoy each other's company for a while if things work out in the future if not fine.
For now live your life and keep your options open.
If she ruins the timing its not your fault.
2007-12-12 07:00:52 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her space, she is giving you the road map. You guys went in fast and furious. A little slow down will do you well, just don't be a dumb butt and act jealous.
2007-12-12 03:53:07 · answer #5 · answered by Brightside 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋