My ex(husband) cheated on me not even a week after I got home from having our son with his ex gf. We seperated and I put him on child support. He has not made any payments. He was also very abusive during our relationship. He blacked both of my eyes once and whenever I hear he's in town I have to stay in a women's shelter because he's very violent and pays no attention to the "Protective(Restraining) Order that I have on him. He's never purchased diapers or clothing for our now 1 year old son. He also has another son that he doesn't do much for either. And he is just a total dead beat maniac. He moved 10 hours away is dating other people, going to college(so he says) and seems to be doing fine while I'm here busting my *** going to school, working, and raising our son. Why does it seem like he came out on top when he did all those hurtful things and is just an evil person with no conscious? I ask a lotta questions about this guy because it just all seems so unfair to me.
2007-12-12 03:23:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IT IS UNFAIR THAT MEN GET AWAY WITH THINGS BUT GUESS WHAT YOU CAME OUT AHEAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE THAT CHILD ALL TO YOURSELF AND HE'S GOING TO HATE HIS FATHER SOON IN LIFE AND HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU. SO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS. THAT MAN IS SCUM AND WILL NEVER MOUND TO NOTHING NO MATTER IF HE'S IN SCHOOL OR NOT. GOOD LUCK
2007-12-12 03:31:15 · answer #1 · answered by Julia 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything there that you've written about him that indicates that he has come out on top.
I would suggest that you go on with your life and forget about him. It is very possible for you to have a nice happy life without him in it at all.
If he doesn't pay hi court ordered child support, fine. The State will take care of that. Maybe not today, but one day, when he least expects, they will simply come put him in jail.
If he violates a restraining order, call the police. Have him arrested. It's that simple. Living 10 hours away, you shouldn't have that problem.
Accept a reality though - he's not going to give you any money. That appears obvious at this point. Therefor, you need to find away to support yourself and your son that doesn't involve relying on this guy. If he's the abusive person you say, he's going to end up in prison eventually anyway - and then you'd not get any money from him either.
We do indeed reap what we sow. You must sow the seeds that will create a good life for your family -- he has sown the seeds that will destroy his.
2007-12-12 03:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by CoachT 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and I've seen it work. We have given money to help a friend, and never expected it to be paid back.Though he promised to do so. We have helped a stranded family, and didn't expect payment in the future. Nor did we get it. They could have been running a scam, but we'll never know. And once we were helped by a person out of the blue. She said to pay it forwrard which we did. I turned a minute and she was gone, the next. No car taking off, no sound whatsoever. She was a disapearing angel. I do believe, that what goes around does come back around to either do you good, or bite you.
2016-05-23 05:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is allot of women who feel the same way you do. The only thing you can do is let it go and don't date until you know why you ever dated someone like him in the first place.
I also in a situation where my ex remarried a younger virgin bride and I am stuck raising teenager on my own without help.
For a year I was so angry I kept thinking the way you did.
Last week I found out she is having a baby. When my son said he wish the baby died I realized the hate I must have been showing to my children.
I woke up the next day and said let him be happy no matter what he did to me. God watches over all things and your only hurting yourself by holding that in your heart.
I had a wake up call also I just realized this week NEVER EVER again will I date that type of man!
Good luck GOD BLESS
2007-12-12 03:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey - look at what a loser he is. Be very glad that he is not with you any more. It only seems like he came out on top. In reality - you did. You have a wonderful child and are rid of the idiot. And to answer your question - what goes around DOES always come back. I have seen it so many times. Just don't waste your time waiting for it and concentrate on you and your son. It will happen tho - I can guarantee it. Good luck to you - you will be fine - just love your son - he is what life is all about.
2007-12-12 04:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by Babycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is not fair. Be glad you have your life, your son. Let that idiot live his accordingly. If he is sleeping around that much, he is bound to die from some disease or get shot by somebody's boyfriend or husband. No decent man would envy his lifestyle. I can assure you of that. Be glad you are no longer in that relationship. For the fact you are going to school and working you are doing the best you can for you and your child. You will one day find a decent man and yes, because not all men are like him. Wish you the best and keep your head high. You my dear are going places.
2007-12-12 03:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Isn't he just a wonderful man?? Going to college, dating other people, telling them wait'll they hear how wonderful he is and he can give them 3 reasons why:
1. Got a RO against him.
2. Hits women.
3. Is a dead beat dad to all of his kids.
Next thing you know he'll be coming up with wild stories about how he receives at least 350 marriage proposals a day and authors from all over the world are trying to steal his ideas for a novel.
2007-12-12 03:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You may not see it and you may not be around when it does, but I can promise, what goes around ALWAYS comes back around. Especially when that baby boy calls someone else "daddy" because another man truly is one to him instead of just a man. I promise he may be looking like he is living the high life now but you will be the star in your childs eye. You may not think that now and it may be when your child is older and has children of his own but then he will know what it takes to man a "dad" not a father.....
2007-12-12 03:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by I love the flipflops 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take care of your child start your healing process and he will get all of this back in the end. You may not see when it happens and it may not even come from you but his time is coming. Focus on healing yourself
Goodluck!
2007-12-12 03:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by Debbie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just need to use this experience as a rule for the next guy.
Hitting = Have no babies with
Sometimes changing history beats Karma.
2007-12-12 03:31:51 · answer #10 · answered by kittykatsback 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋