Do You Think Common Courtesies Have All But Disappeared?

Question

I was raise old school and taught to hold open doors for ladies, to say please and thank you for courtesies that were extended to me, to give up a seat for elderly people and pregnant women, etc. It seems that in the past decade and/or generation or so, these common courtesies are seldom seen. Is it because the younger generation were not taught these things ? Is it because everyone is too busy or involved in their own existence to really care ? Do you think todays moral/ethical values are being misplaced ? Do you see this world in general, becoming a more hostile enviornment due to world circumstances ? What are your thoughts on the reasons for these changes ?

Nowadays, when I observe a young(er) person extend the courtesies I described, I find that I am very impressed and that they've had caring upbringing by parents/guardians.

Just to clarify, I have observed some of the older generation(s) adopting the "I don't care" attitude also. I'm not just picking on the young people.

Answer 1

I was also raised to be courteous, especially to woman and older folks. It appalls me when I see some of these younger guys almost pushing women aside to get into a store or onto a bus. I still step aside or hold the door for them.

My mom would probably come down from Heaven and kick my butt if I didn't!! :+|

I hope my kids have picked up the courtesies that should be common in society. I taught them but since they live in different parts of the state and I don't see them daily, I don't know.

I guess that some parents think that if they don't teach their kids to be aggressive in today's World, they will never get ahead. I feel that that is a very sad state of affairs.

Answer 2

In general I think most of the parents of the newer generations don't bother with teaching their kids common courtesies. But, there is some good still out there! Not to be biased, but my niece and nephew are the best mannered kids I've ever met! My brother and his (unfortunately ex) wife have done a superior job raising them - they're eight and 11. I do think alot of parents are too busy to actually raise their kids - our mom stayed home with us and the TV was not used as a babysitter. Also, parents in my age range (I'm 40) seem to want to be "friends" with their kids rather than their parents. I believe this is detrimental to the kids.

Answer 3

As far as common courtesies go, I just don't understand why so many folks have lost that. I still have it and will NEVER loose it.
As to all the questions that goes with this, I really don't know. Some may not have been taught to be courteous with folks, I just don't really know, But it is very sad to say the least.
If you stop and think about it, it takes as much time and effort to be courteous with some one as to be rude and so on. Kindness has never hurt anybody.

Answer 4

I'm surprised by the kindness I find in my ethnically diverse neighborhood. While there are driveby shootings almost daily somewhere in the city I still find the majority of people of all ages I come into contact with to be polite. I just returned from the store where a young man held the door for me. I always thank a person even on the days I am scrowling due to pain.

Answer 5

YES ... i went to a store tonight and out of know where a 16 ish ? young black man walked up and started yelling at me that he was there first. He demanded that he be helped before me. I said to him , i'm sorry , if you have been waiting / I didn't see anyone here at the counter . I told him, that , I intended to be first though / and suggested to him that he show some respect for other human beings. He yelled at me , stood very close to me and said, YOU BETTER STOP talking or I WILL and he raised his hand at me ! I said where is your mother ! Don't you dare speak to me in that throne and don't you threaten me. I will have you thrown in jail so fast / now back off . I then looked at the item and decided that it was the stores fault too .. they should have called security and had him thrown out. I left and am not going to shop there or give them any business. Honestly , these young punks today are too much. I'm not going to cower to them . It really did cause my heart to heart and I came home . It's too difficult to shop with these animals out there. I am going to do all mine internet and give cash to people on my list. I think there is a lot of hostility out there.

Answer 6

There is nothing common about courtesy. I agree with you. However, as senior citizens who taught our children who in turn are teaching theirs, I find myself wondering where I went wrong from time to time. All is not lost, the nice young people are still very much in the majority and because of all the media attention we hear a lot and see a lot that is not particularly nice to us and affects everyone.

Just possible but maybe we were too strict, but that was how I was brought up. What is that expression about the "sins of the fathers"?.

Answer 7

The way I remember it, the thing about opening doors for ladies, giving up your seat for them, or standing when they enter a room ended in the 70's when the feminists made a ruckus about it. They said it was "demeaning" and that they were perfectly capable of doing it themselves. Most males I knew at the time stopped doing those things anymore for fear of getting publicly chewed out by the woman. It desintegrated from there.

People now are often too self-absorbed to think of those courtesies. We're too concerned about our "rights" to think about the responsibilities that go with them - much less basic courtesy to others.
Some of us are teaching our children these old values, though. As long as that happens, there is still hope.

Answer 8

I wouldn't say that courtesy has completely disappeared but thanks to modern technology, it is suffering. People have cell phones or MP3 players attached to their heads and don't pay attention to the people around them. They don't open doors and couldn't care less that their LOUD conversations are annoying.
I still open doors for others and have them opened for me and I'm a female.
When driving, if you are trying to get onto a busy road, some people still wave to let you go.
Chivalry is not dead. It's also called just being nice.

Answer 9

I think the world is a much more crowded place than when we were young. A more competitive place. Many see this as reason not to observe the common courtesies but they're still there if you look. Just harder to see through the crowds.

Answer 10

I have two children ages 13 and 9 who are very polite and caring but I have ingrained it into their brains!!!

Parenting is a full time job! People today should be screened before they have kids. It's harder to adopt a pet than to have a child!

I completely agree with you on all levels. One of my favorite quotes goes something like this:

"If children are expected to be kind, generous, and well mannered, these are traits that should be TAUGHT, not HOPED FOR"