How did you get the courage to leave your spouse and how did you do it. How long had you contimplated leaving before you actually did it? And what happned after you left, were they mad, did you call them or did you just let the lawyers handle it?
2007-12-12 02:38:28 · 18 answers · asked by lesliebedford623 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just took a deep breath, and told him I didn't love him. I don't think I ever did. He left the next day. I left it at that... it was supposed to be an amicable split and he told me that since I was working part time at the time he would help me until I could get on my feet... he stopped his direct deposit into our account immediately causing our rent check to bounce. I had $8 on me to last two weeks, and he couldn't have cared less. I let it sit. I wasn't about to pay for a divorce lawyer to draw up divorce papers after that... so after I waited him out for 10 months, he finally did. I got them in the mail and immediately signed/had notarized them and sent them back. I got through it, and am MUCH better off.
It is a blind leap, but you have to have faith that although it may be frightening and might get bad at first, that in short order you'll get your life back on track and be happier than you've ever been for having the courage to step away instead of being unhappy forever.
2007-12-12 02:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Missy let me start by saying you and all of us that have been in this position are very brave. I also have been there,so stay strong and gather up as many supporting individuals as you can. So that ANY time of the day or night you can call some for that moral support that you will continue to need. Even past the point of leaving you will need moral support and people to tell you that you are doing the right thing(s). As you indicated music is powerful and can also be good support, and I think others have offered you that. For me Jesus Take the Wheel offers me support, but if you don't like Country music it may not work for you. Know the hell you are living right now, is not always going to be there. Even with going to your mothers, going back home once you have moved out is always a very hard decision. The fear of the "I told you SOs" are very abusive and depressing. Continue to show you are grateful, but try to stay out of the house as much as polite can. Obviously you are in college, which that is an awesome step in of itself. I would be more than happy to chat with you. I was a woman counselor for over 30 yrs. and have helped several women online to get out of abusive relationships and I am sure at least one of them would be glad to say how it worked out. But again feel free to contact me and let discuss ways to keep this positive attitude available to you. God Bless Reggie
2016-03-13 15:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I finally realized that I was living a lie. It's never right to stay in a marriage (or any relationship) "for the kids". I was killing myself working a full time job & two part time jobs to keep us "Happy". I had known for a year I wasn't helping either of us by not being honest about what needed to happen. When I told her I wanted to seperate, she went nuts. I came home from work the next day & the house was empty except for my personal items. I let her have everything. It took me years to get back on my feet, but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. The kids took it pretty hard, but we are closer now than ever. The "ex" still kinda hates me, but that's how things go. I'm happy now, and have been married for twelve years to my soulmate. You will find the strenght to move forward if leaving your spouse is the right option. Don't do it on the spur of the moment though. REALLY think about it. Good Luck!
2007-12-12 02:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by Haz 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I sat him down one day and said in a calm voice that I had had enough and I wanted a divorce, no tears, no nothing... I felt dead inside already... He said he had felt the same way... So we started splitting everything and we were being civil... I was out to lunch with my girl friend and asked if he wanted anything since I wouldn't get cooking dinner that night... He just smiled and said I didn't have to. He called while we were there and said he wanted to talk... After 3 days of starting to separate our lives, he put it all on the table and said that we could try and make it work.... That was Feb... We just celebrated 6 years on the 8th. It was hard, but in my eyes, leaving is WAY too easy. (Now, unless there is abuse, an affair, etc, then that is a different story) We have learned to work on the things we each needed to and can I just say life has been pleasant!
2007-12-12 02:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Though about it for a year, tehn I started to research and I set a plan. I won't lie, it was a difficult desicion to make and I was scared to death to even call a lawyer. I had to get my finances in order first and see how much I could stretch my paycheck and I researched places to live, healthcare and a realtor to put up the house for sale first. When I finally got everything set (it took about 3-4 months to execute the plan) I finally told him ( I call him up, he was out of town) and I said that after careful consideration I've decided to get a divorce. I was calm, there was no drama, no tears. He agreed. After I sent him the draft, it took about 2 months to file and get things done. Everything was amicable. He did beg me not to do it a few days before the court date, but my decision was not negotiable. I had enough of his unfaitfuness and his abuse and the day I said no more it was no more.
2007-12-12 02:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my case we planned it to the last detailed. We had a 6,5 and a 1 yr old. So we knew it was important for them for everything to go smooth. By the time they realized I was not living there anymore I was totally moved out for 3 months prior. It worked. Up to this day, my daughters were not traumatized by my departure or the divorce. I talk to them twice a day and see them every two weeks. It takes planning, brains, maturity and over all courage.
2007-12-12 02:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I looked in my journal and found I had been writing the same sad stuff in it for 10 years. I looked in the Bible to see what it said about divorce. I went to counseling by myself and with him and nothing changed. It was never going to. I went to 3 attorneys and finally just filed. He got served papers at home. For a month he didn't even acknowledge them. Yes he was mad and blamed me for everything (his usual position). I put my important stuff in a storage place in case he started to throw my things out. He didn't. He's still living here (too cheap to move out without me forcing it). As long as he doesn't get crazy with me I can deal with it. I don't talk to him about the divorce because it stirs up trouble. It is in my attorney's hands. I am planning to move out as soon as I can. We have 2 kids still living at home that I need to accommodate or I'd be gone. Also, he doesn't want to have any financial responsibility. If I just walk out he will accuse me of abandonment. Get some counseling and find a place that you can stay while you get things sorted out. Good luck.
2007-12-12 03:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by psi2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It didn't take courage on my part. She told me she was interested in the neighbors wife and I had to go. That was pretty simply for me. No courage required. No time taken. Get a good attorney and listen to what they tell you.
2007-12-12 02:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took me the better side of 2 full years. It was very hard because of the children but I told myself that no matter what I was going to make sure they knew I loved them, that I was and always would be in their lives, that I lived nearby, that I see them every weekend, talk to them every night, and they know I respect and work with mom on all issues. I also am very close to my faith and they know that both mom and I are involved in that part of life as well.
2007-12-12 03:22:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I got tried of the beatings so one day I packed the kids and left.
Moved 2500 miles away and yes he was pissed. I gave him a big ole' Michigan divorce, via airmail.
Now, my kids are older and he still an as*
That's my story and I am stick'in to it!
2007-12-12 02:44:33 · answer #10 · answered by Gyspy Soul 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋