Why do women who breast feed look down on women who don't?

Question

I breast fed my children because it's what I chose to do but I've noticed on other questions that some women who breast fed their babies give rude answers about women who chose not to. I understand all about breast milk being better and healthier but there are different reasons why women don't do it and it is their choose to make.

Why do women who breast feed look down on women who don't?

Answer 1

I never looked down on anyone who didn't breastfeed. I just felt sad that they might be missing out on an experience that I felt created a great bond between my and my daughters. On the flip side, my husband felt left out, and wished that I had bottle fed a bit more so that he could have shared in the bonding with the girls while they were feeding. It's a very personal choice, but as long as you end up with a happy healthy mother and baby, it's the right choice in the end, whichever feeding method is chosen.

Answer 2

I think it's kind of a reactionary thing. Not that long ago women were actually discouraged from breast feeding. They were admonished as bad mothers for doing it because doctors believed that formula was better and formula companies were happy to push the idea. There were those who disagreed with the notion that "modern" formula was better and began a pro-breastfeeding movement that now has medical science behind it, so now we all believe breastfeeding is better and women who don't are looked down upon as on some of the other responses on the board. The reality is that breastfeeding is great when it works, but it doesn't always work. I know women who struggled with it for months and eventually switched to formula because it just wasn't working, and yes, illness following delivery can mean that breastfeeding is not an option. Breastfeeding is not always feasible particularly if a new mom has to go back to work soon after she gives birth. Not everyone gets maternity benefits allowing them to take an extended leave from work and not everyone can afford to stay home with their child. Sure you can pump but no all jobs make that possible. I'm not sure how working to feed, clothe and house your children is considered selfish because it prevents a woman from breastfeeding. Also, in response to the answer indicating that a woman who doesn't want to have children is selfish. Why does everyone seem to think that having a baby is some sort of selfless choice that you should be praised for? Most people who have one do it because they want kids. That's not particularly selfish but it's also not a perfectly selfless gift to the world or the like. It's not like you're solving world hunger.

Answer 3

For the same reason some people look down on people who don't recycle or don't put their 2 year olds in car seats or feed their 8 month olds Happy Meals, ice cream and candy bars.
Some breastfeeding women feel very strongly about the fact that breast milk is superior to formula and made just for babies and not made from something for cow babies and then processed and sometimes contaminated.
I wish that I had a militant breast feeder around me when I switched my daughter to formula, maybe I wouldn't have.

Answer 4

Breast feeding has too many advantages to list but obviously better health for the child and the nurturing is enhanced. Some women can't breast feed and others won't but that is their choice. We want the very best for our children and the breast milk debate is one that is easily targeted. Bottom line - if you can physically do it great - if not, still be the best parent possible in every other way.

"Looking down" on others is merely snobbish without understanding the other person's position.

Answer 5

I wish they didn't! I nursed my son as well, but I certainly never thought I was better than moms who didn't. There's a lot of angst out there over breast feeding on both sides of the boob. I think everyone ought to respect another mom's right to choose which they want to do. I know when I breast-fed, my mother-in-law gave me a lot of grief over it and I really had to struggle to like her after all of that. She felt the baby wasn't getting enough milk, even though he was getting fat and I was getting skinny. SO, to answer your question, it probably has to do with how they're treated when they're breastfeeding. It can make you defensive to some degree, but it ought not make you OFFensive!

Answer 6

I can't say that I could care less, but it doesn't really bother me that other people don't... I just don't like the reasons sometimes. If someone simply told me it was easier to bottle feed, I would be okay with their decision... it is their right. However, when people say that it is perverted... that is where I have a problem. My grandmother didn't breast feed, because she felt this way and tried to push her views on my mother. My father was in the other ear saying the same thing and refused to let her do it.

Answer 7

Because some may be narrow minded. People choose to formula feed for many different reasons. There are many who realy want to breastfeed and can't due to medical reasons. So when these formula hater's post nasty comments it just makes the other feel even more guilty. I my self think that breastfeeding is number one, we all know the benefits of it. However, I do not object to formula feeders as well. Formula has come along way and they are forever trying to get close to breast milk as possible. It's the mother's choice and they should not be criticized for it.

Answer 8

well i breastfed all 5 of my children and i never look down at a woman for choosing or having to formula feed so i guess i cannot answer to why, but just to let you know we all do not feel that way, but i choose not to answer a lot of the questions on here about bottle vs breast because they are mainly from the same woman who reports everyone for everything and talks mean and down to others

Answer 9

Well, it's not about jealousy for sure. They are thinking of the baby and what's best for the child. And it seems you realize that too. But whatever your choice for not doing so is your choice.

My ex didn't want to do it because at the time I didn't realize she was experiencing postpartum depression and didn't want to be around our child and so didn't want to breastfeed. Though I've heard where women becuase of vanity didn't want to breastfeed either because of not wanting their breasts to sag or they couldn't endure the soreness and that was such a shallow, selfish reason. Whatever your reason, just know the facts and realize the pros and cons of not breastfeeding.

In the end the choice is your and your mate and as long as you two agree, then I wouldn't worry about the reactions of others.

Answer 10

I get this alot, I havent had my baby yet, but cannot breastfeed due to a medical condition, and before a new dr/midwife reads my notes and sees I have a medical condition preventing me from breastfeeding they make you feel like a bad person for not doing it. I do feel bad that I will not be giving my child the best start in life and would love to breastfeed its just an impossble route for me to take.