I have been in this relationship for 5 years, got married last year. I have 3 grown children that treat my husband like he is part of the family. They all buy Xmas gifts for him every year. He has 1 son that buys for him alone. I feel left out and have hurt feelings. How do I get pass these feelings. I would never allow my children to leave someone out but they do this on there own .
2007-12-12 02:03:36 · 9 answers · asked by sunshine5371913 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to your husband and tell him how you feel. He will help you on how to handle his son. He knows his son the best.
2007-12-12 02:08:25 · answer #1 · answered by just me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different. Your stepson was an adult when you and his father got into a relationship - so your stepson has NO OBLIGATION at all to call you "mom" or treat you like a "mom".
He has no obligation to get you gifts since you are not truly a family member.
It's nice your kids are treating your husband like a part of the family - but that is their choice.
Don't hold your stepson's decisions against him. It is his choice.
Also, he is 24 years old. Many 24 year old boys are immature and consideration is not one of their special priorities.
You should realize both of the above mentioned things and stop feeling sorry for yourself. If the ONLY thing he does is not get you a Christmas gift - then you are not being LEFT OUT. If he ignores you at family get togethers and doesn't even say "hi", then he is being disrespectful and you can say something to him.
Oh, and one more thing, Christmas gifts are NOT OBLIGATIONS. No one is obligated to get you a gift - Christmas gifts are GIFTS. You should NEVER expect a GIFT - that is just wrong in so many ways...
Finally, in your stepson's eyes - you might be a jerk. Your husband may be a really great guy and your kids love him, but you might be a jerk or "not right" for your husband. Many times, adult step children do not like their parent's new spouse - they don't approve. This is okay. You have to understand that not everyone is going to love you.
2007-12-12 02:11:07 · answer #2 · answered by Dina K 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
That is sad. Unless you have been a wicked stepmother, and he finds it difficult to deal with you, he could be decent about the situation and include you in the gift-giving.
Even if he did and he did so out of a sense of obligation to his father, he should.
It is hard for you, I can tell but my question is why is his father not treating with the whole issue? You mentioned that you would never allow your children to leave someone out but they treat your husband differently. Does he say anything at all?
Don't misunderstand me. I am not picking on him; the question is quite fair, taking your comment into consideration.
All the same, I would not ask since it is quite patent what is taking place and I feel certain everyone knows you are uncomfortable with things as they are. You shouldn't have to ask, anyway.
2007-12-12 02:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no contract that says he HAS to buy you a gift (sorry if that sounds mean) but maybe he does not have enough money to buy EVERY single person that he knows a gift...i mean it does happen. Gifts should not be just expected from everyone. Just be grateful that you are all alive and together on Christmas (because honestly that is what it is really about in the end, stop counting gifts like you are a three year old)
2007-12-12 02:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your kids have grown up - isn't it time you do to? Giving a gift of the choice of the giver - and it is not all a required to give a gift to someone simply because they are married to a parent. You're children are adults - and they made a choice, and the stepson is an adult and he has made a choice.
Grow up - you're a grown woman and you should know that not every "has" to give you a gift.
2007-12-12 02:09:35 · answer #5 · answered by Susie D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a superb mom and function taught your infants, properly! you should remember, that throughout his son's eyes, you are the reason at the back of his family contributors breakup. as long as he treats you and your loved ones with appreciate, supply him time. he's the only which has to return to words with this. i will allow you to be attentive to to communicate including your husband approximately this and function him communicate along with his son, yet, he's the guy who has to settle for this and you will not enjoy a contemporary that wasn't given with love! that is not uncomplicated for a toddler, no-remember what the age, to settle for that there family contributors is broken constantly, fantastically if his mom hasn't moved on. in simple terms coach him love and in time, in line with probability, he will take place in his very own time. do not enable him get you down and attempt to work out issues via his eyes! From what i'm expertise out of your question, that's the 1st Christmas considering you have been including your husband which you're married. If his son would not substitute, do not enable it concern you! that is his loss! yet on an identical time, it became his family contributors that became broken, so, supply him somewhat extra time to settle for this. In his innovations, if he gets you a contemporary, it would be like asserting particular to the wreck up of his family contributors and he's not waiting for that SMILE! HAVE an extremely MERRY CHRISTMAS!
2016-11-03 00:28:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your stepson is a grown man....and he evidently is trying to send you a message by leaving your out....Try not to worry about it....By allowing him to see that you are hurt...you are giving him that satisfaction that he is seeking....Just be happy that you have 3 grown children who know how to treat others....
2007-12-12 02:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Solution, forgive him and buy him a gift, just from you.
2007-12-12 02:39:05 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your husband about this. I would suggest talking to him and letting him know how you feel.
2007-12-12 02:08:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋