My husband and I watch porn together sometimes. He knows that I enjoy it as much as he does. We even pick movies out together. But, then sometims I find movies that we didn't buy together hidden somewhere in the house where he didn't want me to find it. I don't care that he bought it without me and I don't care if he wants to watch it alone. I just don't like that he lied about it. And he looks at stuff on the computer and then clicks off of it really quick when I'm coming. He knows that I don't care if he looks at it, because I do it too. Last night, he told me that he was going to bed early and went to our room. I stayed downstairs. 15 mins later I noticed that our bedroom light was on. So, I went up there. He heard me coming and changed the channel but I opened the DVD player and found porn. I told him that I'm not mad, I just wish he wouldn't lie to me. It's not like he's watching anything weird like animals. It's the same stuff we watch together. But he lies about it. Why?
2007-12-12 01:16:52 · 33 answers · asked by Deedee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My husband does this too... I think that as much as they love being with us, sometimes they need some 'alone time' lol. Don't worry too much about it, it's not really worth getting upset about. To me, anyways. I just ignore it and give him his space, they need it just like we do.
2007-12-12 01:22:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's the trouble.No matter how intimate we may be,still each of us needs some private space in our lives.Seems you have no problem with the main issue but with the procedure.Is procedure that important unless we are doing it as an extension of some control function?If you leave him to his devices,he shall get bored faster than what you think.Incidentally,porn can become flat boring after some time as there is nothing new after a stage.
2007-12-12 01:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he feels guilty about wanting to watch porn by himself. Maybe he thinks that he's a bad person for not wanting to watch it with you all the time. If you think it's okay and you've told him that, there must be some underlying issues he has. Perhaps a porn addiction maybe? It really sounds like he's ashamed of himself.
2007-12-12 01:22:06 · answer #3 · answered by Skelli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a man. end off. They don't think like us. They seperate love/sex, wife/fantasy all the time. I sense you are trying to mask or at least make sense of your 'natural' female jealousy! Trying to make it acceptable/rational by watching porn with him. This is ok, trying to please the man you can't understand, but love! Maybe it excites you a bit, but not enough to eliminate the sense of rivalry you feel towards the sexy girls in porn. The fact he may be thinking of them when you have sex? Your husband can tell from your reaction! He is not stupid! He feels like a kid with an allowance, he can buy some of the soft sweets, but can't touch the hard ones on the top shelf'.
He has to retreat to 'really' indulge these images.
He loves you.doesn't want to hurt you.
All men protect their wife from sordid fantasies.
A fantasy is what it is.
leave him alone with it.
we as women are not built to understand.
2007-12-12 02:09:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he's afraid of your reaction. And anyway, no matter how open-minded you are, sometimes men need time for themselves. So don't take it seriously. I mean, that despite how many years you're married, what did you expect to tell you? Stay here, i'm gonna watch a porn vid? It's not logical.
What would you do if you were in his shoes???
2007-12-12 01:26:01 · answer #5 · answered by Arsenal_girl585 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great you both have, for the most part, a honest and open marriage where you can discuss things like porn. Maybe he sometimes wants "time to himself" if you know what i mean and doesn't feel the need to always involve you. Just give him his space.
2007-12-12 01:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by Widgi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably likes to do it alone. There's no big deal guy's get a bigger rush when there hiding it from you. He also may have a fetish for something different and is embarrassed to tell you. Bring some more spice to the bedroom ask him what he likes/fantasises about and experiment, Could be fun
2007-12-12 01:26:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he feels guility for watching it without you and thinks that if you catch him then you would be upset or get your feelings hurt, and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. or, not saying that he does, but, he could have an addiction to porn and he is ashamed and embarrassed and doesn't want you to know, in fear that you would leave, or think he would rather watch porn than be with you etc. I would talk to him about it and see how he reacts, ifhe gets defensive then he is obviously hiding something he could be ashamed of or scared that you might find out.
2007-12-12 01:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by farah_monday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because no matter how "open" people may say they are there is still a stigma associated with it because of the religious right and all the other idiots out there.
I say leave the guy alone with his porn.
2007-12-12 01:21:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Porn is like masturbation, you learn at an early age to feel guilty and not to get caught. The guilt never quite goes away.
2007-12-12 05:49:41 · answer #10 · answered by mjmayer188 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋