My husband just lost his job. I'm sad and not looking forward to the holidays.?

Question

I should be thankful for my healthy family, but all I can think of is the problems ahead, like no insurance. I have been putting up a good cover, but I'm so sad. I'm 'tired' of acting happy.

Answer 1

stop being selfish, and be supportive. HOW ABOUT YOU ALSO GET A JOB, SO HEALTH INSURANCE WON'T BE AN ISSUE!

Answer 2

Of course you are going to be sad, your husband just lost his job! That alone can be a very trying time, especially during the holidays. You say you are tired of acting happy? Why not take a day alone to cry, scream (quietly) and maybe run off some of that frustration for a mile or two, seriously this helps wonders. But by all means, don't stop being positive. During difficult times is the time we need to pull within ourselves to find the strength to endure. Your marriage and happiness is at stake right now, don't make the mistake of losing that too. Think of how terrible your husband must be feeling. During the holidays why not volunteer some charity work? Sometimes seeing others less fortunate than ourselves is a great way to feel grateful for the things we do have and not dwell too much on the things we do not have. I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now and will say a silent prayer for you and your family. God Bless!

Answer 3

First, that really DOES suck. Go ahead and let yourself feel it so that you can pick yourself up and go on again. Jobs come and go but you know in your heart that being thankful for your healthy family is the way to go. Nothing can replace that!

There was a story on the radio yesterday about a little 6 year old boy in the hospital who isn't going to live without a heart transplant. The only way he'll get a heart transplant is through the tragedy of another family losing their child. How sad on all fronts. When I hear stories like this it makes me realize that any problems I have pale in comparison.....

Holidays come and go. If you have small children keep in mind it really takes very little to make them happy. If you have older children they are about to learn a big lesson in hardship, a lesson that might be very valuable to them later on in life.

Imagine how your husband feels! If he's not talking about it then both of you need a little time alone to grieve the loss of his job and then start planning for the future. Have you ever noticed that something very good always comes out of something that seems bad at the onset?? Think of this as your chance to grab life by the horns and make the changes that you've been wanting to make anyway. Dream again! Re-invent your life! Get inspired! Read stories of people that have lost it all and came back better and stronger! There are lots of stories out there like that.

Imagine yourself 6 months from now in the life that you've been wanting all along and then just set the goals to get there. Dream BIG!

My husband and I live by the motto "Together we can accomplish anything".....and we can! You and your husband can do the same, I promise. Hang in there, work a plan and I promise next December will be amazing! Good luck :)

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear that NTSassy, it's a bad time to lose a job, but I think you should be happy your family is healthy. I don't know why your husband lost his job, but I think this would be a good time for you to support him as much as possible. He's probably worrying about things just as much if not more than you. Stop acting happy, but instead take on the role of supporter and think of ways to make the situation better for the whole family. When family's gather together they can be strong and being sad and trying to act happy isn't what's needed. Knuckle down, reduce spending, tell your kids Christmas is going to be great but spending on things you don't need is going to be the new rule. Tell your kids what has happened and make them understand everyone in the family needs to cut down on things. You've hit a rough spot, but you'll get through it. Things always have a way of working out. Stay strong and believe that you'll get through this.

Answer 5

Holidays? Now there's something to chat about.

The meaning and value of the Holidays seems to be lost and forgotten. Whats are the little quirks you love about him? What made you fall in love with him?

Now is the perfect time to reconnect because you both really need each others full support to pull through this. This is a great opportunity to make your bond even stronger then it was before. Timing may be bad, but, then again, maybe its a wake up call and you two are being tested to see just what you will do to get through it.

Be there for each other, communicate, and I hope it gets better.

But, a couple has already received the best Christmas present they could possibly get, each other and a family.

Hope it works out for you both.

Answer 6

I am sorry this happened to you so close to the holidays. Sadness and fear can be overwhelming... and I'm sure that he is feeling the stress too. While I'm not advising you to weep and wail and let self-pity overwhelm you...I DO think it's best to be honest with yourself and with your husband. Planning together to "get through" this hard time is better than trying to "fake" feelings you don't have. How can YOU cut down on expenses? Can YOU find some work...even part-time might help? My husband and I went through this...and he had to take a couple of lousy jobs to make ends meet and I worked nights. It was terrible...but we got through it loving each other a little more than before because we worked together! Good luck to you both! Hugs, Gina C.

Answer 7

JustAsk's answer with his own experience of losing his job says it ALL.

That woman who suggested you leave your husband at his lowest point was sounding rather b*tchy...she must not know what "for better or for WORSE" means...do not make your husband feel less of a man than he does right now. Suck up your pride, talk to trusted family members, if even just for them to get one or two gifts for the kids! Spend christmas at someone else's place like your parents! Make it a family-centered one that is more on the social side and less on the commercial...

Have lots of sex to make each other feel better, treat him like a king in the ways you can and tell him all the time you STILL think he's the best and you KNOW things will work out!

Church services can bring a sense of peace too, especially during hymns!

Answer 8

You guys are in good company. I know so many people that have lost jobs in the last year through no fault of their own.

Retirement jobs have a way of vannishing these days. Having no insurance is frightening, indeed.

It'll be a rough go for you guys for a while, but if you work together, you'll get through it.

Do yourself a favor, though. don't waste your energy with a 'good cover'. That'll drain you faster than anything and will do no good. (if you have kids, I can understand why you'd want to happy-face it, though.)

i wish you guys the best.
take care,
-mark

Answer 9

My lady, life is a big "ACT" really. No family out here is without struggles. I know of close freinds that have been blown to pieces in Iraq and only a year ago they open presents in front of me. I know of wives that their husbands have left them i despair to go with younger women. I know of households that have a child hospitalized for months, that will not have a good Christmas. Hug your children and your husband. That's the best Christmas you can have. The future should not rob your happiness. It's not here yet...cheer up and have a great season,,smile,,,you still have plenty of reasons to do so.

Answer 10

It's sad that your husband has lost his job and you have to remain as strong as you can. I would imagine he feels 10 times worse - for a man - not being able to support his family is one of the worst feelings in the world - especially around christmas time! Problems like this come and go but family is forever!

Answer 11

This happened to me on December 17, 2004. Luckily, we had Christmas gifts all purchased, but still had credit card debt, car payments, mortgage, 2 kids in college and 2 younger kids. Still, I was able to keep from telling my wife until about mid-January so it preserved Christmas.

But I can tell you from my experience, this is NOT a time for sadness. It is NOT a time to feel sorry for yourselves and let your circumstances get the best of you. This is a time for you and your husband to put your heads together, work together to support each other, and FIGHT! Start putting out resumes right now. Set a goal to apply for 10-20 jobs EACH DAY!! Write a resume and keep tweeking it. Improve it for each job you/he applies for.
Make a list of all the people you know who might be in a position to help you/him find work. Then reach out to those people. My mistake was I tried to do it on my own because I was ashamed I had lost my job (you guessed it, I was fired). Bad move. I needed help and could have saved me a LOT of grief by making people I knew aware that I needed a job.
Make a list of all his/your skills and experience that may not necessarily translate to a resume. There could be work that people want/need done that you or he could do by starting your own company. never know....
ALSO, let your creditors know that you are having financial trouble and that you may have trouble paying bills. Some creditors may have deferrement plans, or programs to temporarily reduce interest rates.
If you have to decide what gets paid and what does not, make sure you don't lose your house, and you can feed the kids. Just about everything else can be put aside. If you NEED your car to work, then car payment gets put on the "must pay" list.

I worked two full time jobs that combined paid me about 1/3 of what I was making. I knew it could not last long so I also started a business. I landed a big contract about 6 months into my two-job stint that launched me into a comfortable position today. I was lucky, but I also know that I had the right attitude. 2 other important things for you...... I hope you live in America because one thing that sustained me was my knowledge of history. This truly is the greatest country on earth because it's a place where someone like me with VERY little knoweldge, no college degree, etc. can start my own business and not only survive, but (almost) prosper. Remind yourself that ANYTHING is possible because it's true!
Finally, pray. Know that God does not want you and your family to suffer and that HE will provide. That is also true and helped sustain me through a lot of sleepless nights. Even if you are not church goers, or don't read the bible, pray anyway. Your situation might depend on it.

As it has turned out, getting fired and going through this was one of the best things to ever happen to me.

DON'T GIVE UP!!! You are hard working, intelligent people with work experience that an employer will want. You are willing to work together and make sacrifices to make this work. You live in a country where there are no barriers to success, unless you put them there yourself. And, there is a loving God who will not let you fail. YOU CAN DO IT!

Good luck and MERRY CHRISTMAS!