Am i to young to get married?

Question

I'm 21, my mom says we should wait until im atleast 24, but we have a child together and though we fight (as everyone does) we love each other completely. We have been together for almost 3 years now, and my mom wants us to wait 3 more (just so we know for sure she says) answers anyone?

my mom wants me to wait to make sure that im not just jumping into "the rest of my life" she just wants me to be happy. I love him, and i just worry that we arent ready for it all... but i guess it's silly as we have a child together we live together and all of our finances are one, so at this point it would just be a piece of paper... but to me its REALLY important... i know what ever i decide they will both be happy for me (and all of us) thanks for the input

Answer 1

Shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyt! Get married. You have a kid. The kid will come to learn that you are not married. Kids are smart. You need to be committed to one another now. It makes your kids secure. Dammit, don't breed anymore children like me : ), who have grown up confused, lol... Seriously, get married. Don't listen to what your parents say on this one. You are not their child anymore; you are a daughter, but not a child. Get married!!!!!!!

Answer 2

i see both sides. i think your mother just seems to have your best interest in mind. i don't think you are too young to get married, and having a family and being with this man for so long i can see why you would want to get married. I believe you mom wants you to wait just to see how things are going to go. You have a child involved and your mother may just be worried about her grandchild's stability, as in if you were to get married and then you ended up getting a divorce it could really affect your child. Divorce is also expensive and with a child involved you will have child support and visitation stuff to go by and it could get messy. I see your side and your mothers. If you have not lived with this man yet then i think you should. Living with someone and having a relationship with someone are two seperate things. If you can't live together and be civil for your child's sake then you do not need to get married. do you really want to fight daily in front of your child? children learn from their parents, so that could be bad too. If you truly believe that this is what you want then, right on! Marriage is wonderful! But you also need to factor in your child's best interest, a rocky marriage/divorce, mom nad dad fighting all the time, dad storming out, you storming out, etc. is not a good environment for a child. I think you mom just wants to make sure you and her grandchild are safe and happy and have stability.

Answer 3

Whats the point in waiting??? You have a child together already. Did she think you where to young to have a child when you did? A marriage is a promise of a life long commitment which can be broken at anytime, However sharing a child together is a bond that can never be broken. She is just trying to be controlling. She should be happy that you want to get married and live together as husband and wife and as a family. Why would she want topr o grudge her grandchild of the family life he or she deserves. Good luck.

Answer 4

You're 21, you have a child together (though you should have waited on that). I don't understand your mother's logic on the waiting issue. If you think you're ready to make a lifetime commitment, go for it. If you're doing it just for the sake of the child, you might want to rethink it. But if you're financially and emotionally stable, and know that it's what both of you want and are ready for, do it. I might suggest some pre-marital counseling first, however, just to iron out any potential issues you might have. Many pastors require it anyway, which is probably a good thing.

Good luck!

Answer 5

If you already have a child you should be able to get married. It´s OK you are not too young. Also you are off age so you can do whatever you want. But if you want the permission of your mother I would come to an agreement with her. I would tell her that you will move to your boyfriends house and live with him for one year without getting married. If after that year you still want to get married she should accept. The good thing by doing this is that you are doing your mother a favor by not getting married yet but you doesn´t have to wait 3 more years.

Answer 6

That is so foolish to think that waiting 3 years will determine if a marriage will work. No offense to your mom, and I know she means well. But look, I had a set of in-law parents who were married for over 26 years and then divorced. Now if that does not tell you something then nothing will. What I am trying to get across to you is that any marriage at any age is subject to a divorce. Another scenario is a couple who dated 4 years and then married. They were divorced in 6 months. My parents were married at age 18 and knew each other for only 6 weeks before they married. They remained married for over 36 years and then my Mom (bless her heart) died. So do you get my drift? I hope I made it clear. (smile)

Answer 7

There is a huge difference in the person you are at 18 and the person you are 25 (and an even bigger difference between 25 and 30!)

I have to agree with your mother that it is a much better idea to wait until you are 24-25, but the reality is that you are an adult and can make your own decisions.

I have always told my daughter to wait until she is at least 25 - and know who she is a person before she becomes half of a marriage.

Answer 8

This should be your decision, not your mothers. Do you feel you are mature enough for marriage?

I was married at 19, and still am. 31 years next Tuesday.

I get real sick of people saying you're not the same person at 21 that you are at 24. Gee duh. You're not the same person at 24 you are at 30 either. And yes, you do grow, but when you're young, you grow together.

And as far as being sure. No one can predict the future. Just as many people who wait until they're a little older end in divorce.


Good luck to you

Answer 9

I got married at 22 and I heard but your so young a lot.... It really pissed me off. It depends where you are in your life at 22 when I got married I had lived on my own for four years and was totally self sufficient. I had gone through periods when I was so poor I worked two jobs just to forget I was hungry. I was mature for my age and that is what marriage takes maturity. My friends some of them still live with their parents, parents still pay their credit cards and insurance etc. They would not be ready. If you know in your heart that your willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work and keep your family a float then your not to young. Just remember there will be rough times but its worth it

Answer 10

You are not too young to get married, people marry much younger and you already have a child together. I don't think your mother is really saying your age is an issue but rather the man you are looking to marry. I would predict this relationship doesn't stand a chance whether you marry now or in 20 years.

Answer 11

How much LOVE you have in your heart should be the basis in getting married and not because you have a son and neither because you are young.

Many couple broke up regardless how young or matured they got married. You can marry at any age you want and still broke up in the end. What is important in marriage is finding the LOVE in your heart and the RIGHT PERSON for that love. Good luck! :)