My husband and I haven't even been sperated for a year and he is already having a baby with another girl. That means that this child will be my daughters half sister. My husband is telling me that I need to get over it because there is nothing he can do about it now. It is almost like he is making it my problem. This girl already has 3 kids that she can't even take care of by 2 different guys. My husband and this girl can't buy anything for this baby. I am sorry but I have 2 daughters that he doesn't give me money for and I don't need to worry about another child. My question is,do I need to be nice to this child or do I just ignore it? Children are my main love in life but I feel like this is not my problem and I don't need to worry about it. Am I wrong? This child will be here in a month.
2007-12-12 00:24:11 · 17 answers · asked by lvbrdy4vr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't take your anger out on the child -- it's not the child's fault that your husband can't keep his pants zipped and seems to enjoy banging promiscuous sluts who are too stupid to use birth control.
The child will be a half-sibling to your children. That can be as important or as unimportant as you want it to be. If you suspect that your ex won't be staying in this new relationship, then it would be hard to establish some sort of relationship, only to have it dissolve when she disappears.
You're quite right, it's not your problem -- except that it is, in a sense, because it will further dilute his ability to pay child support (hopefully, you've taken him to court on this already.) You certainly don't have to buy the child holiday and birthday presents and offer to babysit, but you aren't going to be able to ignore the child forever, either.
I'm sorry -- it's a tough situation to be in. Makes you want to smack him upside the head, doesn't it?! I'd be angry, too.
2007-12-12 01:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child didn't choose it's parents. But it is true that you aren't related to the child. You should just wish the poor kid luck, cuz it will almost certainly have lousy parents. There is no reason for you to have any relationship with the child, because it's likely your own kids won't have much of a relationship with their father. I do recommend that you pursue child support from your soon to be ex. He IS responsible for his children with you, and though he's certain to cry broke- that is his problem and responsibility. Concern yourself with taking care of your kids. He should have thought about money when he was fathering the new child. Since he didn't, it's his problem. Don't let him put the responsibility of worrying about his new child on you. Your kids must come first, and ALL other worries have to be a distant second.
2007-12-12 00:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The ONLY response that is even close to being correct is George. What matters most is what YOUR STATE statutes prescribe for child support calculations. In general, there are grounds for modification upon the remarriage or birth of a child to an unwed father. Upon those grounds a suit can be brought, and usually won because the father now has mouths to feed who reside in his home or the home of another. The burden of proof is on the father to show; 1. He is the legal father and his rights have been established either through marriage or through the court. 2. The modification is necessary in order to maintain a lifestyle for BOTH children and the current award is going to make that unlikely. 3. The reduction is in the best interest of the child who is affected by the current order, and the new child, without the extra income, will not be properly cared for.
2016-04-08 22:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This child will be a half sibling to your child and you should treat it as such. I was in a similar situation except I was the one having the child when i remarried. My ex told my children that the baby was not their sister. His new wife told my little girl that the baby was going to be born blind and deaf. The father has since continuously poisoned their minds so they don't relate to their little sister. The children are always the innocent victims in divorce and you should be the bigger person and embrace this child for the sake of your daughter.
2007-12-12 00:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by Lioness 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The child is innocent of any wrong doing. Treat the child like a niece or nephew. Show the world what a generous and loving soul you have even if you don't feel it now. Set a good example for your kids to follow. When your kids are old enough to know and appreciate your sacrifice...they will thank you.
2007-12-12 00:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Big Red 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine why you need to ask whether you should be nice to a baby! What's the alternative? This baby is an innocent victim of two idiots. Show some compassion for it. It's not like it will be a huge part of your life, or that you will have any hand in raising it. If you happen to see the child over the years, be pleasant. That's it.
2007-12-12 00:37:25 · answer #6 · answered by Tiss 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well whatever you think of him and her, and from what you say they sound very irresponsible the two of them. This really is just a poor innocent child. I'm sure you love your daughters and this baby will be half of them in blood ties. I'm sure this baby will share some of the traits your daughters have. This baby has done nothing wrong. I would love this little baby because he/she is starting its life in a messy place. Whenever ppl. get me down and life seems unfair I remember what Gandhi says, you must be the change you want to see in the world. I think you should be nice to this little tot and help forge a relationship for your daughters sake, it might be nice for he/she to have an adult to look up to that has their act together, ie you. You might grow quite fond of the little mite :)
2007-12-12 00:36:42 · answer #7 · answered by MSMajor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand the animosity between your husband and you. But you have to remember that when your girls go to visit there dad, that child will be there. You shouldn't have to buy anything for this child, or take care of this child...it isn't your child. However, it isn't the child's fault for your husbands lack of maturity. This child is your girls new sister, remember that and be the better person by not putting down the new child.
2007-12-12 00:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by funandfancyfree3232 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but why do you have to have anything to do with this child? If you daughters say something about their half sibling, be civil, but I wouldn't go buying baby shower gift. I think I would be neutral on the matter. Not mean but not involved either.
Good luck!
2007-12-12 00:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by Nicole 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have no connection to the child? Will you ever even see it? Soon to be X husband, you will only be doing the drop off and pick up of your children. None the less, this isn't the child's fault so acting like an @sshole to it, just makes you a complete *****. Get over it, he will be your X husband therefore no other ties than your kids. Children shouldn't suffer because the adults are immature. Grow up.
2007-12-12 00:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋