Breast Exam Poem
For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care, My doctor found a lump. She ordered up a mammogram, To look inside that bump. "Stand up very close" she said. As she got my boob in line, "And tell me when it hurts" she said. "Ah yes! There, that's fine.
She stepped upon a pedal. I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate pressed down and down, My boob was in a vise!
My skin was stretched and stretched, From way up under my chin. My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt. Within it's vice-like grip. A prisoner in this viscous thing, My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding? My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good," I heard her say As the room was slowly swaying. "Now, let's have a go at the other one." Lord have mercy I was praying.
It squeezed me from up and down. It squeezed me from both sides. I'll bet she's never had this done, Not to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. If there had been a cyst in there, It would have popped, "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I'd like to stick his balls in there, And see how they come out!
2007-12-11 23:28:44 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
This is so true and I have to go next month!!!! Thanks!!!!
2007-12-12 02:52:09 · answer #1 · answered by ndnquah 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Oh, how I can sympathise with you - that's exactly how I felt with my first mammogram. The horrible thing is that because of breast cancer I have to have annual check ups and know what is coming - which is worse, the anticipation of the pain or the actual feeling on the day. I love your poem, very expressive, especially the last line and hope your examination had a good result.
2007-12-11 23:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by blondie 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Another cracker Susie. (nut cracker maybe?) Imagine, a clinic for men called the Nut Cracker Suite! Would anyone attend?
Glad you didn't have a lump. I had to have a Biopsy which was quite painful but all turned out well.
Great Rhyme!
2007-12-12 04:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
As a man I do sympathise. However ... for x-rays to give a reliable result the tissue has to be compressed. If there were another way of looking for cysts or cancerous tumours I'm sure they would have found it - even men.
That said I'm surprised they didn't use ultrasound.
Excellent poem by the way!
2007-12-11 23:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just been, or gotta an appointment 'fore long ? If it was invented by a man, he sure as H*** didn't have the proper respect for women and the "finer" little (or large) pleasures in life. (Most children (men) would never mistreat one , let alone two, of their favorite playthings.)
2007-12-12 02:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wish The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Disney Channel, ect. were never invented. :P
2016-04-08 22:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL What a laugh I had!!!Almost got everyone in the library to look at me and wonder if I am nuts!! LOL I am in a Public Library and there are hundreds of people in here.
2007-12-12 05:00:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A torture contraption no doubt!
I think men should have their "personal items" checked for cancer in the same manner.
2007-12-12 01:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by jersey girl in exile 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because then women like me would have much less competition in the torchure device industry.
2007-12-11 23:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I so AGREE! Hate that machine, I would like that man to stick all of his family jewels in there!
Thanks Susie, you are wonderful and more stars, BRAVO!
2007-12-12 04:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by slk29406 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"On the other Hand"
The other day my Doctor said
For me to bend way over,
"We're" going to check your prostate
To make sure your life's in clover.
My drawers I dropped,
My heart it stopped
'Cus nothing is quite like,
A finger Shoved up to the Wrist
To make your cherry Pop!
2007-12-11 23:48:52 · answer #11 · answered by Rick A 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋