why am I made to feel like an underclass... I'm in my early 30's and we have decided not to have kids... yet .. the grief I am getting from people is really getting me down.. what is this obsession with having kids all about?
Why can't I just be accepted as I am.
Apparently, we are not a family we are a couple.. so what..
I love my life the way is it.
Do you have this problem with people?
What is it with these people pushing the need for kids onto us?
2007-12-11 20:45:49 · 23 answers · asked by I've got it! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you're very sensible not wanting kids.
It's your choice!
Enjoy your life and relax in the knowledge that no-one can make you have a child - phew!
Check out this poem by philip larkin - it might make you smile... you can always pass this on to your family and friends if they start on you again!
http://www.artofeurope.com/larkin/lar2.htm
2007-12-11 20:52:11 · answer #1 · answered by Pagan Pip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was exactly the same, married & 30 & the pressure was unbearable. Eventually i caved in to my husbands pleas & fell pregnant after only 2 weeks of the pill. I went into severe depression & it was the most miserable 9 months of my life. I have a beautiful baby boy now & although I love him dearly, if I could go back in time I would never have let myself be bullied into it. I loved the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted, had a job I loved & a brilliant relationship with my husband but now I am trapped & often lonely, my relationship with my husband is strained because I feel so down at times, i miss my friends desperately because they still have the freedom to do as they please & im left behind & i cant go back to my job part time & therefore have to give it up to look for a part time job elsewhere. Its true that you do get joy out of motherhood but the joy is short lived compared to the sleepless nights & endless nappy changes. The routene is emence & so restrictive & will only get harder. I believe that you really need to feel that maternal urge BEFORE you cave in to pressure. People always said I'd feel differently when the baby was born but it took 5 months before I actually felt like a mother & began to love my son in the way that I believed I should. Stick to your guns coz theres no going back. Good luck. x
2007-12-12 07:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by lezlee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have made a decision. Stick by it.
That is the right decision for you.
The people that already have kids and are happy with their decision dont pressurise anybody else, the people that have had kids who are miserable and feel trapped are the ones that are against people without children because they are jealous.
What I do question is why does it bother you so? Have you made the right decision or do you think you will be a late starter.
Some woman have babies later in life after saying they dont want children and turn out to be very happy with that decision.
Time will tell, but its your decision and whatever you decide is right for you.
Dont make this mistake though:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=501267&in_page_id=1811
2007-12-12 04:56:44 · answer #3 · answered by shafter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good on you, i have nothing but admiration for those who make the decision to not have kids. There are so many people out there who have kids just because its 'the thing to do', and the poor kids suffer emotionally and alot of times physically. Some people just are not kid people and nor should they be forced to be!! There are enough screwed up kids in the world as it is - who grow up to be screwed up adults. In saying all this though I hope that just because of your decision you arent the types that look down upon those that choose to have children. Children are a blessing and should be treated as such. I am a mother of 3 and all the best to you, proudly stand your ground!
2007-12-12 05:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by ponytail 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I personally want a tonne of kids!!! And don't particulary understand how a woman can't have those maternal feelings but I do respect peoples views etc and the way you live your life is up to you hun!!!
Afterall it's YOUR life and if people an have a go at you for not wanting kids then in my opinion I think that's very closed minded and weird!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck with your child free life and enjoy it!!!! (as I'll enjoy mine with a football squad of them hopefully!! lol)
x
2007-12-12 04:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by angi_tinkerbell_fairy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same as you, I don't want them...yet... and I've told people that. It doesn't bother me what they say, all I see them as a financial burden and I have trouble leaving to go on weekends away owning a dog, just imagine what it would be like with children, I want to enjoy life before I put energy into rearing children.
2007-12-12 04:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a cousin who is the same as you, she decided when she was a teenager that she wasn't having kids.
She is now 45 and stuck to her decision, she has plenty of nieces and nephews to love.
It's an personal choice and people should never be pressurised into having kids
2007-12-12 04:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, I don't see why people have a problem with how you live YOUR life. I do want children... but I've been married 5 years, and people wont leave it alone, so I slightly understand. My m-i-l is the worst. Apparently birth control to her is sac religious.
2007-12-12 04:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by Just Tryin' to Help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's entirely your choice. Perhaps some people see this as a selfish choice. Most people do want children. I have no issue with you or anyone else not wanting kids, and I'm a parent.
2007-12-12 05:05:30 · answer #9 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them. I made that decision 20 years ago and haven't regretted it at all!
Anyway the news this morning says that other women are having more children, so there's no pressure on the rest of us to have any. Woo hoo!
2007-12-12 05:26:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋