ok so my ex bf got me pregnant and he didnt want anything to do with me and i feek the same, im pregnant by rape. And no i have never done that before.
Anyway i recently became friends with this guy who says he really likes me. I then told him that i was pregnant and he says he still wants to be with me.
Anyway today my ex bf (father of the baby) said he wants to get back together and support the baby.
should i go back to him even though he hurt me? he IS the father, and a child needs its father.
whereas the new guy is sweet but i dont want him to have to take care of a baby that isnt his.
Im 15 btw
what should i do?
2007-12-11 18:16:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Hon, i didn't understand your first paragraph maybe, but are you saying your ex boyfriend raped you? and that is how you became pregnant??? If this is what you meant, PLEASE do not even talk to him anymore.. and why didn't you report the rape to the police. A child does not NEED a violent man in his life -- and rape is about violence NOT sex.
You really could consider some counseling, hon, or to talk with an adult you trust and respect. Tell someone in your life the truth about the pregnancy, and what happened.. You really need to SEE that you were violated. Your ex boyfriend has some major problems...
It's nice you met another guy...but that is not what you need, either. You need your family and those in your life who will support you and love you and care for you. It's time for you to see things for what they are, and i'm talking about the boyfriend... Your focus needs to be on your future and that of the baby's... no on some dumb guy.
I can't stress this enough -- please talk with someone.
hugs
2007-12-11 18:41:17 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hurt you I would stay as far away from him as possible. You should still get him to pay child support, but a child doesn't need an abusive father!
If you like this other boy then I say give him a chance! You wouldn't be forcing him to take care of your baby, he'll stay because he likes you.
If you stay with someone you don't love you won't be doing the baby any favors. Children should grow up around adults who love each other, so they can learn about healthy relationships and happiness and love!
2007-12-11 18:28:53 · answer #2 · answered by Sky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not go back to someone that raped me. He also deserted you when you needed him the most. Did you report the rape? You should have. The baby does not need a rapist for a father. Sure, he is the father but that does not mean that you have to stay with him. There is nothing wrong with someone being a father to your baby. It takes more than sperm to be a dad. He knows the deal upfront. Honey do not go back with the one that hurt you. It can only go down hill.
2007-12-11 20:33:04 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got pregnant at an early age too. i was hoping that the baby daddy was gonna hang around and want to be a part of my sons life. but it didnt happen. i truly believe that a father is one that loves and takes care of the child all the time. there will be many more guys that will come into your life. even though you have a child that does not mean that you need to be with the father 'sperm donor'. i am now married and my husband is not the sperm father of my 2 older sons. take it easy, think clearly, dont let the hormones make your decisions. take care, its gonna be hard road but good luck.
2007-12-11 18:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by ms. pinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get back togther with the father. He hurt you there is no choice in that but, do say you might need help with the baby in the future. Say I want the baby to know his or her father but not as my husband or boyfriend. And if the other guy wants to be with you and support the baby, be togher if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. You are only 15 and will have other boyfriends its not that hard to fins someone in the end with a baby on your hip.
2007-12-12 10:15:54 · answer #5 · answered by my other name was too long 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok look i just found out that my 15 yr old g/f is prenant it will be hard and this new guy doesnt know how hard it is i do bc my ex was 22 and had 3... im 17 by the way it depends on who u feel for the most but whatever your decision dont keep the child from his father i grew up without one and it sux do what u feel in your heart but just keep the baby in mind bc it comes first b4 everything now...... i myself do not believe in abortion but if u go that way think long and hard about it bc u will have to live with that decision for the rest of your life and always have that what if in the back of your mind
2007-12-11 18:30:27 · answer #6 · answered by matt_287 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...tough question, but my suggestion is to go with the guy that said he likes you because ... think if the who raped you said i dont wanna have nothing to do with you what if he changes his mind again and leaves you alone and you'd feel heart broken and have a hard time and its gonna give you another problem again. But if i was you...I'd actually skip on the dating for know because well know that you have a baby your gonna have to worry about some other things like money and stuff (but if your gonna have a abortion) then I'd go with the guy who said he likes you :D.
2007-12-11 18:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by ScheeDee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take your ex boyfriend back so quickly make him work for it. if he wants to be with the baby then he needs to show it, and not in just one day. he will always be the baby's father, but that doesn't mean he needs to be with you. this is a decision you need to make and figure out before your child gets older because you don't want him walking out of your childs life then, it will hurt them too much.
2007-12-11 18:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by "Your Name" on my *SS 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off if he raped you you shouldn't even be still talking to him you should have his ass locked up, secondly maybe he only wants to be with you cos he knows this other guy wants you. Maybe for him its him or no one, you don't need someone like that in your life, especially if this guy is willing to help raise a child that isn't even his, he must like you ALOT!!!
2007-12-11 19:38:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok by the sounds of it your bf raped u? maybe im confused...but if thats the case then stick with the new guy. Who would wanna be with someone who raped them...If thats not the case id still choose the new guy because he wanted to be with anyway...the old guy didn't.
2007-12-12 06:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋