my husband and i have been having problems for about 3 years now. one year ago i found out that he had an account on match.com. i tried to let that go because he said it was just to talk to other women but... recently he punched the windshield out of my car and rammed my car with his truck. there has been some physical abuse in the past. i just feel like i've had enough. i still have feelings for him but i believe it's only because we have 2 children together. any advice?
2007-12-11 18:08:33 · 10 answers · asked by irisheyes8205 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Consider re-reading your question through objective eyes, or "outside" eyes. Or read between the lines. For example, as I read your question, I came upon the words, "there has been some physical abuse in the past." That sends up many red flags that you should not remain with him. He hit you. That is not cool. And then the car! That's still bad. I know how you feel, I have not been physically abused, but emotionally and verbally abused. I know how hard it is to make changes, even though you know it will make things better for you and the kids in the long run. Even if you love him and he loves you, the fact that he is abusive will never change. If you stay, you will continue getting abused. Did he grow up in an abusive household? Do you want your kids (if boys) to grow up in one, and go on to abuse their wives and girlfriends? It may well happen. I wish you the best.
2007-12-11 18:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by secretsecret16 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he had an account with Match.Com, and he was still with you, I would have said it was over, Normally I try to get people to stay together, most especially if there is children involved in the relationship, but it sounds to me that your husband has moved on, and has no respect for you, do yourself a favor and kick him out and move on.
2007-12-12 02:15:30 · answer #2 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't stay with him for your kids. Do you really want your kids around someone like that. you need to take you kids and leave. get a divorce, file a police report, do whatever it takes. any man that abuses his wife wether it me mentally, emotionally, physically anything else, doesn't deserve to have a wife. Don't stand for it. In most of the cases it only gets worse. I know you still have feelings for him. but you need to understand that what he's doing is in now way a failing on your part. now is the time to call it quits and leave. good luck, and God bless
2007-12-12 02:19:06 · answer #3 · answered by shroudingsteel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from him, before he hurts or kills you pr your children. Leave when he isn't home, don't tell him where you are. Go to a battered women's shelter. Get counseling. Don't go back to him unless he goes to anger management classes for a year or more.
I had friends. He used to abuse her, started out once in a while, maybe a bruise, then went to black eyes, broken ribs, broken nose, fat lips. This was over a long period of time. Him being mean, then begging her to forgive him. She moved out. She made the mistake of telling him where she was and he came to her and shot her in the face with a 357 magnum and then shot himself in the chest. They have been dead since 1978. Their children grew up with out them. They have grandchildren that will never know them.
Be very careful. Be very safe. Get away from him asap!
2007-12-12 02:22:23 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, separate, see if that helps, perhaps he needs a real shock to stop taking you for granted, but if it works it might be short lived, but it's up to you to decide what to do, Divorce is a hard decision, If you bring it up, you might be shocked to hear him say that he agrees completely, it might be great that it's mutual, but at the same time, if your like me at all, part of you will wish he had resisted and tried harder rather than letting it go so easy.. good luck
2007-12-12 02:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by lilchikka2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you were to leave him it would be hard on the children but then again I think its gonna get worse for you if you stay. So I say get the divorece now before its to late. He might end up really hurting you one day and trust me I've seen it happen to my friend. Dont take that chance.
2007-12-12 02:14:09 · answer #6 · answered by girlnamedmorgan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider moving far away.... sounds like this could be ugly, and no guarantee he won't abuse you after the divorce... remember OJ couldn't handle his ex dating another... It would be nice if you had a large brother to stay with you for a year or so after the divorce...
2007-12-12 02:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by Commander Splash! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time for a divorce
if he is going to be abusive at any point and time towards you or the children,then he has some serious issues that he needs to deal with and you need to do whats best for you and the children...move on and be happy
2007-12-12 02:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now would be a good time to call it quits exspecially if he is abusive to you.He will only get worse as time goes by.All the best.
2007-12-12 04:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by embellishment3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding?
2007-12-12 02:13:40 · answer #10 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋