Divorced people,,custody question?

Question

I have a question for anyone here that's deal with custody/visitation issues. Currently I'm going through a divorce and we have a court order that states joint custody is in order. This was put into effect 10/19/07. Not even a month into the order, my husband was no longer able to keep up his 50% of time shared with our son. He moved 100 miles away with his grandmother due to financial issues, yet still feels he's entitled to get our son whenever it's convenient and he's in the area. For example today he wanted his mom to see our son, so since "technically" it's his week he had his mom pick up our son from school and now she's keeping him over night. He will not be there, but since it's HIS TIME he feels he's entitled to do what he wants with our son. He has also not complied with any of the mandatory classes the court ordered us to take, where as I have. Anyone dealt with this before? If so what happens? I have an attorney who I'll contact tomorrow but I was hoping ...

To get some insight on this. I just don't think it's right to keep a joint custody order when that's NOT what's going on. I think initially my husband wanted full custody so he wouldn't have to pay child support, but he only got 50% in which he STILL doesn't pay anything. For me it's not about the money it's about what's right and if he has our son only every other weekend I think the court order should reflect that.

BTW..I'm not opposed to my son seeing his grandmother, but my son's attorney stated that 90% of my son's stress was due to her discussing the case with him. Also, she had my son taking medications for asthma, inhalers, pills, etc..he NEVER HAD ASTHMA. I took my son for a second opinion. Yet she still insists he is ill. She is a hypochondriac and a weirdo. My husband has even confirmed this. But since she hates me and so does he, well they team up and it works for them. They can't even stand eachother, but hating me brings them close...sick people.

I guess I forgot to add the REAL problem I had with this. Initially when he called me to inform me of his mom getting our son, he was an ****** about it and more like demanded it instead of making sure it was okay. She ended up getting him and he never returned him. Several phone calls later after we hunted him down through his grandmother and mother did we find out at almost 9pm that he was deciding it was okay to leave our son over night with his mom. In the meantime I'm at home like an a.s.s. waiting for our son to be brought home.

I've received a copy from my son's doctor stating he does not have asthma. She was taking him to a different doctor who I feel was taking advantage of her insurance, but she makes it easy by being such a hypochondriac. She herself allegedly has cancer, asthma, lupus, fibromyalgia,,etc..etc...Yet she still seems to get around driving and shopping all day. Yes, and I have my son already in the process of going to counseling. We just did his intake last week : )

Answer 1

If you're in the state of Florida, your attorney will file a motion for those things which your husband is in contempt on, and the judge will make his ruling after hearing evidence and testimony. I'm surprised that he was allowed to move that far away without the court's permission. General rule is that he cant move outside of a 50 mile radius from where he was living without both yours and the courts consent to do so. The time allocated to your husband is for your husband and if he is not in attendance then that time is lost. Why is his mother picking up the child that resides with you from daycare without your permission. Big no no. He himself is not allowed to do that without making prior arrangements with you as the residential parent. The court should set a visitation schedule for him and if he is found in contempt , he may well lose visitation time with the child.

Answer 2

You need to go back to court ASAP!!! If he is not spending time with his son and isn't going to even be bothered with being present while his son is visiting over at the grandmother's, he's in violation of the order. He hasn't taken the classes required. Also, there is no such thing as Grandparent rights. She is not authorized to take your son to the doctor. That is for you and his father to take care of. He's only using the joint custody order to avoid paying child support. I've been through this, and you will win full custody if you are complying with the courts orders. I guarentee though that when you do win, he'll stop working so he doesn't have to pay.

Answer 3

I don't see what the problem with your son's grandmother picking him up to visit with him on your ex's visitation time, first of all.. Unless she's a dangerous ogre?

My ex husband was a real pain in the butt, from the word GO, but i just ignored him and did what i felt was best for our son, which meant letting his father see him when he could.. he also lived away from our area.

Of course, he had to make previous plans to visit, and if my ex's visits didn't interfere with plans i had, i just let him see his child.

You might want to request the order be changed from joint custody to you being the custodial parent.. it may be easier that way... your attorney can do that for you since your ex isn't living near you anymore.

It's not your problem that your ex has not complied with mandatory classes.. it's his problem and if the judge wants to address the issue with the guy, he will...


good luck tomorrow

Answer 4

As far as the mandatory classes as long as you have done your part don't worry about him. Let the judge do that. Since they are mandatory the courts will have an attendance list in your case file. You can however mention it to your lawyer and have him tell the judge also and use it for ammunition in the custody issue. He doesn't come when he is supposed to only when it's convenient for him, he did not go to the classes because it didn't suit him etc... He has his mom pick up your son not him. He didn't even see his son only his mother did.
For me it ended up that my ex's parents got visitation and his was revoked.
You can also state your very last sentence to your lawyer that his visitation should reflect his actions.

Answer 5

Most of these other answers are from users who are making guesses and have no experience with this. I've been through all this, and had many court dates, and have over $15,000 in debt from legal bills. Basically, during his legal custody time, he is indeed entitled to do what he wants with your son. If he can't be there, he can have his mother take him. My ex did the same thing, I tried to fight it, but the court does not like to get involved with battling ex's and said it was ok. Unless your son is in danger or being abused, you will have to live with it. DO NOT get yourself sick over it or rack up a fortune in debt like I did. Lawyers will tell you anything, because you are paying their big bills.

Answer 6

if court decided that he should have son during weekend it means he should have him during weekend. not during the week whenever he wants. and if court decided he should pay u child support and he isn't paying u contact an attorney and court will make him pay whatever he didn't pay u on time. and if u don't agree with smth - court is an answer. or agreement of u both with attorney present and put it on paper - what time he takes sone and what time he brings him back. u re absolutely right -a child is not a toy. he should have some rules, routine and shcedule. otherwise it is affecting his psych. your husband is damaging your son. fight for it. good luck

Answer 7

I'd of told him if he cannot obey the court order, don't bother contacting me with his nonense bullshit ideas.