Jealous/Weird Friend...Need Advice?

Question

I have a best friend who is always competing with me. This has been going on since 5th grade. I've always thought deep down she hated me but other people have said maybe she is jealous. This is what she does.

In middle school my family got a nice new car and I was so happy, and the minute she saw it she said it was ugly. Her family got a new car a year later, and she told me everyday why hers was so much better than mine because it was a year younger.

I spent most of senior year without any new clothes and when I finally got some money to get some, she made fun of them. She said they were ugly and a week later she had all new clothes too.

When I got my new cell phone she got a new one that was slightly better than mine 2 months later. She used her moms whole paycheck to buy it whereas I saved my money for a year.

We're 18 now and I'm getting sick of this. Why does she put down everything I have? She has no reason to be jealous if that's what it is.

Thanks.

She's been my best friend since we were 7 and she has always been there for me when I really need her. But when it comes to looks/possessions she turns into a completely different person.

Answer 1

Trust me, I know how you feel.

This sounds like a friend of mine. I started getting sick of her around your age. She was almost exactly as you describe your friend.

I stopped talking to her for a couple of years when I was 21. We met up again at a birthday party of a mutual friend a few years later when I was 24. I thought I would give her another chance, I thought she may have grown out of her behaviour. Sadly, she had not.

I cut her out of my life again. This time for around a year and then one day she turned up on my doorstep in tears saying she had no friends and she wanted to sort out friendship out. Silly me... I gave her another chance and for a few months she actually kept her behaviour in check but it was not long before her true colours began to show again.

I started to distance myself. I did not spend anywhere near as much time with her and saw her maybe once a fortnight or even once a month at times and kept it that way for many years.

It was only when I bought my current house did I realise she definatley had issues. She was exceptionally jealous and negative.

It was at this time that I decided I had enough of her negativity. She was always so negative, never upbeat or jovial and was always bitching to me about her sisters or her family or whatever. It was almost like she never had a nice thing to say about anybody or anything but herself. My fiance had grown tired of her also and I just decided to get her out of my life for good. No more chances either. I stopped talking to her almost 2 years ago now and I feel I am better off for it.

Do yourself a favour and cut her out of your life.

Answer 2

You call this girl your best friend? With friends like that who needs critics and enamies. Actually dear it is a Inferiority complex, that makes her do these things. How is her finacial status? Are you more richer? or Poorer.

If she is poor, it's the way you can bye things so easily, and she has to wait and work for it. Problems at home too can cause this complex, first get to the heart of the problem and then find the solution, if you sitill wish to remain friends.

Or if you are poor than her, it' s you integrity, simplisity, and the willingness to work for what you want, instead of just asking for them (Mobile in question)., and getting them so easily. Your hard work shows her up to be the kind of jelous person she is underneath.

Maybe you are more popular, or smarter. It may be that she is your best friend, she can't handle all the admiration directed at you.

I have a best friend since (1984) 5th too. In everyway she is better than me, except that she is very serious about life, where as I am average and totally opposite. Yet we can just laugh, at the silliest things, by just looking at each other. She pours out all her troubles to me, and me I listen, and then answer, and let her decide. Same with me. We have been friends for around 28 years and live oceans apart. That is a friend.once Lily said to me, "I taught you were a snob, being pretty and popular". And I said " I taught you too inteligent and so looked down at everyone"! We found out different, and more in common than we taught, and have remained each others friend, for so many years, even though we may see each other only about 5 - 7 years only,

What she is, ask her, if you really love and consider her your best friend. Things should be cleared out before they become problems, and by the looks of things, you have let her get away with a lot. If you don't go around bragging about you new car, why should she try to show you up?

Just remember, we can CHOOSE our friends, and if we meet them and have a connection, it is our moral duty to show them wht they do is harmful, even if you loose that friendship. A true friend would understand, and learn.

Sorry that's 74 not 84, so she points out! THANK YOU!

Answer 3

she sure does sound jealous of you. Shes not happy within herself and she knows her comments etc effect you in a bad way and in her own little sick way that makes her feel better. She sounds mentally ill and depressed. I'd slowly start building a gap between you.

You know that saying keep your friends close but your enemies closer....your friend makes this statement soooo true. You would seriously have to watch your back if your were to stop talking to her as she sounds very spiteful....so slowly but carefully build that gap between you...maybe get totally involved in work or an activity.....if you dont work do some volunteer work somewhere....get yourself busy with other stuff and little time for her.

Good luck, take care and WATCH YOUR BACK with her, she sounds very malicous.

Answer 4

Some people are just like that. I have a friend who is always talking about how much money her parents have, and she's 30! Like, big whoop, by the time you're 30, who gives a crap? I might be more impressed if she didn't live in a trailer in her parents' backyard! I feel you. I've been thinking about dumping my friend, she's like that with everything. She's 5'7" and constantly trying to be skinnier than me, but I'm 5'3", so what looks pretty good on me makes her look like a skeleton, and it's so annoying, because now I want to "beat" her at stuff, and I've never been like that! We live 1,000 miles away, and I'm so tempted to call her and be like, "Hey, I lost ten pounds!", but my mom said don't, bc she'd probably kill herself just to try to beat me at something else.

Answer 5

Why do you hang out with her? It sounds like she puts you down whenever things are working out for you. Is this someone you want to be apart of your life. Real friends are happy for the other person when things are going good. I used to have a friend like that. When I bought a house it was too small. She had better kids than mine. She had the better car. She couldn't be happy for me, and I realized it was really depressing. It made it hard for me to be happy when things went my way. So I just gradually got her out of my life. It made me happier.

Answer 6

Dude, get rid of her. It sounds as if she will only feel better when you fail at something. And because it sounds as if you don't she's only going to keep trying to one up you or maybe, even worse, sabotage your life in some way. GET FAR AWAY FROM HER!!!!!! She needs to grow up and get her own life. Not just replicate yours. She sounds crazy. If you don't get away from her now it will only be more difficult later. Seriously, lose her. You can find real friends elsewhere.

Answer 7

Its time to grow up, and stop competing with each other of who is better. I had a friend like that too before, and she was kinda weird too. She was an OK friend. You shouldn't worry about her, find some friends who are better then her. Friendship is not about who has better things.

Answer 8

Yeah, it defintely sounds like jealousy. I've known people like that too and it seems like they are just plain unhappy with their own lives because they have nothing going on. You should meet some new people and gravitate towards people who share the same interests as you, and are more supportive. Hey, you'll be in college soon and you can forget about your snotty freind...Cheers!

Answer 9

there are two things you can do. the first thing is to just brakeup with her and leave her and the second is that you just stay with her and just go with the flow, that is if you really like her.:) and if you are going to be stuck with her for your whole life.
and i am not sure if i will call someone like that a friend. good luck and try to keep intouch with her after all she is another human too and maybe someday she will realize what she is doing to you.
good luck :)

Answer 10

wow. thats really mean. she's obviously trying to show off and be better than you, for some reason. thats not very nice. some friend. you should talk to her about it, if you still want to be friends. but whatever dude. she seems like a jerk.