Im supposed to get married the first week of next month, but lately I've been feeling different towards my mate. Asking myself if its the right thing i'm doing..I'm 22 and he's 25, I talked to him about it, but he said not to worry, everything will be okay. He has Major mood swings now and then, and thats one thing i cant stand...
We're also doing a city hall marriage, and i'm telling myself this is not what i ever envisioned.
IS this the way you felt before your wedding? please help!
2007-12-11 16:11:20 · 10 answers · asked by emreldjewel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We're doing it at City hall bc we dont have enough for a big wedding ceremony
2007-12-11 16:19:21 · update #1
To dina below, i've known him for 6 years, and we havent lived together, and its not a psycological problem, he just gets like that-
I'm just really scared!
2007-12-11 16:30:50 · update #2
To dina below, i've known him for 6 years, and we havent lived together, and its not a psycological problem, he just gets like that-
I'm just really scared of the whole process!
2007-12-11 16:31:03 · update #3
Can you get pre marital counseling?
Is it too late to postpone the marriage date? Just be open and honest with him and try to talk about it. He should be understanding if he truly loves you he will try to work it out and if he isn't willing to listen or make any effort then i guess maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Maybe if you want a different, more expensive wedding you could save up, give yourselves time to do things right so you will not have regrets that could later grow into destructive resentment/underlying issues.
Trust your instincts. Be sure you are doing what is right by you, even if that involves making tough decisions.
You are both quite young. You have time. You seem to know what you want deep down, so stay true to yourself. Don't sacrifice your future happiness because of current circumstances.
2007-12-11 17:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I COMPLETELY understand you.
1. How long have you known this guy? Have you lived with him? Are his mood swings related to a psychological problem he has?
2. Depending on how long you've known him, issues like mood swings, etc.. tend to become more frequent once you are married. Usually, people try to be on their "best behavior" prior to marriage. I see a huge problem coming down the pike (and a divorce) if you don't remedy the mood swing issue.
3. Usually, when you love someone - even if you envisioned the huge white wedding - it doesn't matter if you don't have one because you guys can't afford it. When you TRULY love someone, being married to HIM is way more important than having a lavish wedding. If it is really important to you to have a lavish wedding, then you guys can have a long engagement, you can get a second job and save up for it.
2007-12-12 00:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the way you are feeling...there is definately a reason for it. You are only 22 and there is no reason why you should do this right now if you are having all these different feelings. When you really want to marry someone, you will not feel this way. If you don't want to get married at City Hall then why are you agreeing to it? Figure out what YOU want and go from there.
2007-12-12 00:16:45 · answer #3 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's not what you envisioned then it's probably something more then cold feet, it's probably not the wedding you want.
If it's not the fairytale that it's supposed to feel like and you don't feel as though it's going to be anything like you've fantasized.. then you should worry if you're really ready to make this commitment especially with a a man with major mood swings.
I'd evaluate the situation if I were you and figure out (soon) whether you're going to go through with it or not.
2007-12-12 00:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him give it a chance and it shouldn't matter where you get married, just as long as you do love him. Have him take care of those mood swings i would just stay engaged to him till he can get help. You both are so young and it will take alot of work, trust, Patience and a lot of love....good luck!
2007-12-12 00:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't go ahead if you have any doubts.
I felt like you do and the marriage lasted less than 18 months - far better to postpone and be sure than go ahead and have to sort through all the legal b.s. later
Hopefully if you tell him you want to wait a while longer, he will respect that and wait til you feel you're ready. Don't do it just because you feel obligated. It's your life too...
.
2007-12-12 00:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by grrrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to pull the plug if you feel that is the right thing to do.
Listen to your heart and conscious.
Also, know that he is not going to change. He is who he is and that's who he is going to be.
Good luck.
2007-12-12 00:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be smiling and have nothing to complain about if you are well, please sit and think what wen twrong and are you really in love and wanner get married.
2007-12-12 00:16:05 · answer #8 · answered by Cynthia k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
easier to back off now than later ! Fools rush in....... Wise people don't !
2007-12-12 00:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by lenzix5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you, he will understand and give you time to re-think the deal. If he doesn't, and gets upset.........run baby run..........
2007-12-12 00:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by johngolfs2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋