Is it fair to lie to your kids about Santa?

Question

Do you think its fair to tell lies to your child about santa being real?

What if they have emotional reaction when they find out its fake?

Should i just be honest with my kids?

Answer 1

Well St. Nikolaos was in fact a REAL person.

I always knew he was fake without my parents telling me because other kids told me.

I say don't tell them, they will figure it out

Answer 2

You need to decide. You don't mention how old you kids are and if you've already started them believing.
I think it's okay to tell your kids Santa is coming etc. when they are little and give them that wonderment for a few years, but when they begin to doubt and ask questions you don't have to lie..my almost 8 yr asked me if Santa is real and I told her if no one believed in him he wouldn't exist. - he couldn't. I never lied, she left, pondering it - but satisfied. If she caught me stuffing stockings or putting gifts under the tree I would fess up "aww you caught me" jig is up, but most of us find out and pretend to believe a little longer don't we? Afraid the magic will dissapear.
On the other hand, I have a friend who was single, broke and stressed to the max when her kids were around 4 and 6 and she lost it one night amidst the "I want this, I want that" and said, There is no Santa, I am Santa and I don't have money to buy you presents so quit asking. You tell me which would be more damaging - not to mention that the kids went to school and ruined the experience for about 10 other kids.
I don't know anyone who had an emotional reaction to figuring out the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny or Santa wasn't real. (except maybe my friends children??)

Answer 3

I struggle with this too...
Maybe you could go off of what your reaction was. If you were totally devastated then maybe you could figure out why and try to help ease them into it. I think the most important thing is constantly encouraging kids (whenever they are old enough) to think for themselves. Also, if you remind the child that santa is not the main part of Christmas but just a fun part of it, that will help to balance it out when they do begin to wonder about santa and not make everything that Christmas stood for fake. Family, presents, giving, sharing, helping those in need, being together, music, jesus, whatever the true meaning of christmas is for you.

Answer 4

It's totally fair to tell them Santa is real.

First, its fun, period. Remember back when you were young and the excitement going to bed xmas eve looking forward to the morning... and then the excitement you felt the moment you woke up? That is pure happiness...

Second, do you really want your kids being the little bastards that ruin it for all of their friends/classmates.... your kids will be the most hated kids in the neighborhood and which reflects poorly on you...

And third, I don't know anyone who was traumatized by finding out Santa was fake... a little disappointed maybe, but not hurt. Besides, isn't letting your children experience a little disappointment here and there and learning to deal with it a part of raising an emotionally mature adult?

Answer 5

Santa is a fictional deception. It is great that your children have a story to look forward to, about this happy jolly man. Santa Claus is all about hope, and for many children hope is what keeps them going, it is something they can get excited about. Its not really about fairness here, because your kids will like the excitement. By the age of 13, when they probably have seen you sneaking into their room on Christmas Eve, drinking the milk and biting the cookie, they will thank you for giving them something to believe in as children.
and PS, for those who said it is never fair to lie, what do you tell a three year old boy who mum has just been found, murdered by her ex-boyfriend. "Yeah, honey mummy's been strangled and chopped into a million pieces!"

Merry Christmas

Answer 6

Honestly I would just tell them how xmas came to be and who the real Saint Nick is and why they get presents on that specfic day. i wouldnt tell them that santa comes and what not i mean when i found out there was no santa i was devestated and didnt talk for a week . I think the worst part is when they talk to their peers and say there is no santa but that a part of life and we all learn eventually

Answer 7

All of us have a "Santa" in our lifes whether it is real or make believe. My "Santa" is my grandmother, She truly makes me believe in the spirit of giving to others at Christmas.

I don't think that telling a child that there is a Santa Clause is a "lie" per se. We read children fairy tales all of the time but they aren't considered "lies". They are fantasy that children can build their imaginations around.

Your child will figure it out on their own. Mine did. It was sweet. She thought her grandma was Santa and she wasn't the least bit upset or weirded out when we told her the truth....only when she asked about it.

Answer 8

Well, I am one of those people who found out very early about Santa and it was very sad. I feel that we make our children grow up way to soon in our environment and its okay to give the joy of having believed... its not a lie unless you make it a lie, I would just think of it as a wonderful way to enchance my grandchilds celebration of christmas and the only harm done would be if they were old enough to ask us directly then we should tell them that Santa is a Spirit and the Spirit of Christmas is a giver of gifts and santa is his delivery person :)

Answer 9

Brilliant. As unpopular as it might be, we really should consider what it feels like to a kid when they realize, in one fell swoop that 1. there is no Santa, 2. my parents lied to me, which means, 3. I wonder what else they are lying about and 4. why would they have ever made such a fool of me if they loved me?

When I realized there could not be a real Santa, it was at dinner one night, and I'll never forget it. I realized then that my parents considered me a kind of pet, there partly for their own amusement. I would never lie to my kids and never have.

Answer 10

It is actually your attitude that is at fault. Kids can't comprehend concepts in adult terms. If you were going to talk about good-will, compassion, etc, they would have no idea of what you mean. So you use the Santa Claus routine. Most kids either get "the word" from classmates or sneak around to find you putting out the gifts. They usually accept things and move on.

Answer 11

well..when i found out ( i was about 11..im 19 now), i could care less. i kinda always knew because i would see presents in my parents closet or under the bed...but i told my little cousins a few years back that he didnt exist and they had a MELTDOWN..Even my aunt(their mom) blew up on me for telling them..i don't think it's okay to LIE...but technically, you're not lying. There is a santa-LIKE person who existed long long long ago..the only difference was there were no elves, reindeer, sleigh, or north pole...he just bought old toys and redistributed them to the less fortunate..santa is a part of the christmas tradition to children...it's your choice as a parent whether you want to tell them or not.