Do you think that maybe part of the problem with how the world is today?

Question

Could be that alot of these kids have two parents working ? When I ask this I am not talking about people that are trying to make ends meet but people that COULD downsize lifestyle and have a parent home?

I personally have choosen to stay home w/ my four kids ( ages 5,9,10,14 ) . Financially it has not always been a bed of roses but by God's grace things always work out . Going to the schools often it amazes me how many kids are in the asp program and stay there until 6:00 pm. Again, not refering to people that truely need to but people that want more and in my heart I belive that most kids would love to have a parent at home. Although they may not admit to it I think children love structure and a secure home life knowing Mom or Dad are there to provide it. Probablyover material things.

Answer 1

As a grandmother I speak from experience. I worked full-time while raising two children out of necessity, not because I wanted to. My choice would have been to stay home with the children. However you can still be a good parent and work outside the home. You must have rules and stick to them. I don't think being a working parent is the root of the problems with the world today. Lack of discipline is. Discipline is not only lacking in many homes today, it is lacking in the school system as well. Parents must mete out discipline with firm loving kindness. It must be consistent, you can't say one thing one day, then another day let the children away with the same thing. In two parent families must stand together, as the young ones soon learn how to manipulate one parent against the other. You are right about lifestyle changes, too many today want everything at once. I am married 54 years now, we never got our first home until we were almost at the 25 year mark - we had to rent. I do not begrudge young couples getting their own home right away, but priorities must be set. It would be far better to be settled comfortably in a rented home, than to be saddled with a huge mortgage while trying to raise your family. Then many young people want all the bells and whistles. Don't think that I haven't learned from years of experience, we must ask ourselves, is this a need or a want?

In summary I feel that when discipline in the home breaks down, society starts to break down, then the world around us starts to break down, and we are seeing such terrible things happen as we do in the news today. There is far more violence around us today then when I was raising my children. I do not envy the parents who are trying to bring up their children responsibly as there are so many bad influences outside the home - again be firm, be loving, be consistent, but do discipline your young ones. They will thank you for it in years to come.

Answer 2

Which problem are you referring to?

Being materialistic to the point of neglecting to give our kids the attention they need can be a problem; and this has always been a problem. Even during the 1950s and 1960s some parents, even purported stay at home moms, paid more attention to how things looked rather than nurturing their kids. There have always been mothers who worked outside the home....I know from my own family history that stay at home moms is more of an ideal image than a reality.

Some of the most recent horrors in the news include young men whose parents were married, mom stayed home, and one of these young men was home schooled by a mom who was very active in her church. On the flip side of these families are the children of parents who are addicts or abusive....and the kids go on to commit horrific crimes. The problems the kids from either end of the spectrum have little to do with whether or not moms work outside the home.

Kids can be quite resilient; especially when their parents and the other adults in their lives spend the time needed to nurture, teach, and discipline them. I do agree that we could ease up on buying the best-biggest-most…..but we could also do things like spend more time with our extended families, neighbors, and communities. For example, my kids did spend time in after school care-but they also had parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles attend their school functions. Our family did things together despite bizarre work schedules-in fact some of the trees we planted 15 years ago at their elementary school are points of pride with us. All kids need attention, structure, and love-I just wish people would focus less on asserting that there is only one best way to achieve this and instead treated each other with kindness and understanding.

Answer 3

I agree a lot of kids are not getting enough proper guidance because the parents are forced to both work. It is very sad that they seem to be left behind in a lot of things. The state of the economy is the bad guy. But it doesn`t have to end up this way. I work a job that does not pay as well as I could be making just so I can spend more time with my last one home. When he is older I will be able to do something more. He is more important than the money right now.

Answer 4

I think even if both parents work kids can still be good kids. The parents need to be dedicated to working out a schedule to where they still spend quality time with the kids each day.
The problem isn't the parents both working as much as the parents being too involved in their careers, coming home too tired to interact with their kids. I stayed home with my youngest for a couple years and money was tight but we both felt it was important. More couples could downsize and work it out to have one stay at home, which I admire you for doing so. Most kids are in school until about 3:30 and even with and after school program, they and a parent are home around 5ish, so that's only an hour and a half of after school care. But I see the biggest problem is parents who do not know how to turn the job off and focus on the kids after 5ish, each day.

Answer 5

I think that letting a day care ''raise'' your children is definitley a problem. My experience in that enviroment is that the goal is to keep the kids busy. There is no one to teach them the values and manners that are so important. It is pretty much structured with very very little if any tenderness. I worked in one for a very short while. It was a ''good'' one in a very very upscale subdivision, and for the last 2-3 hrs in the afternoon the kids sat on the floor and watched tv. That sounds great huh? But its not. They were to sit in their own space and not talk. Could not lay down and they got very very tired and bored. To any parent who comes to pick up their child this doesn't look too bad. And the kids don't really know how to explain how or why this is a bad experience. I know of some kids that were there from 6:30 in the morning till 5 or 6 pm. When that parent gets home they are tired too and have supper to prepare and housework to do. There is no quality time. I know that it is hard these days to make ends meet. I also have worked with a lot of women who would rather work than stay home with their kids. I don't know why they bother to have children if they don't want to spend time with them. I stayed home with mine for the first 13 years and would have continued to if I had not had to divorce a violent dad. But when I was home with them we had to make lifestyle changes. I was glad to do it. I loved spending time with my kids and I know for a fact that they benefited from the experience.
I was a pretty ''laid back'' parent. Not strict but firm. I was known to relax the rules sometimes and we had fun.

Answer 6

Yes the fact that both parents usually work these days, does not leave much time for family time. Your lucky if you can take a day off if your child is sick, or you have to take a family leave if someone in your family, or your mom or day become ill, and you have to care for them. People are also so concerned of having more and being materialistic, that they have to have the 2 incomes to do it. Not everyone has a 60,000 or over salary these days either, and expenses just keep going up. If you really can afford it and are able to downsize and I say go for it. You will only have those childhood years once to watch you children grow. Teaching responsibility, manners and compassion for others is not taught in school. Children do want discipline not to be your Pal. Who are they seeing, who are they talking to, what are they doing each day. Homecooked meals, instead of fast food places to eat, because your too tired after a long day at work, family communication at the dinner table.

Answer 7

In our church some parnets home school, others the mother stays home, others two incomes, my mother did both.....but without her working we would not have reached are goals..My oldest brother is at West Point, my sister has her own dance studio, we were the kids that got picked up at 6:00pm when dad got home and mom got home at sometimes 7:00 are home work was done in the afterschool program, we did are chores and my mom or dad never cooked on weekdays we ordered in alot. The weekends we all cooked. My parents paid for some one to come every Saturday to help with the chores in the house. We were able to take great family vacation. The people across the street we grew up with them their mother stayed home she was the kool aid mom we all loved her. We liked her house we never had kool aid at our house.....Her son is my best friend but sometimes I feel like he never got to have the time that I had with my parnets....Or the fun....His parnets got a divorce( 6 months ago) they had money problems,one of the kids went to juvenille hall for stealing,and smoking pot( he never had any money to go with us to the show or sign up for baseball) my parnets made most if not all of are games. The kool aid mom was the pretties mom on the street. I have know idea why anyone would leave her. Now since the divorce she going to college, she cut her hair and she seems happy ...I help her with her homework,she working part time her children are grown....She told me yesterday I asked her if she WOULD BE A stay at home mom again and she said NO, my chidren and I missed out on so much...My husband work to hard I should have helped him........so it more then stay home or not staying home it has to do with balance and intergrity

Answer 8

I agree with you structure and love are the two most important ingredients for great kids. Both parents working have definitely put the damper on that. World War II when women went to work may have gone a long way in the creation of the Women's Liberation Movement, but I really do think it hurt the family.

Answer 9

I am all for one parent being in the home if at all possible. As a single parent making a low wage I confess my neighborhood and customers of the coffee shop I managed helped raise my youngest daughter. If it was 6 p.m. and she was not walking in the door of the shop one of the police men who frequented the place would go get her. If she ever rode her bike off the cul de sac I was called at work. Then I called her older sister and had her call her to the phone. I have even locked customers in the shop and drove the mile to my home to get my daughter. It was hard for her to sometimes to do her homework at the end of the counter but she got lots of love and attention from the seniors in my area.
Today I care for 3 of my grandchildren while their parents work. 2 of these kids have a single Mom. She does make more money than I did and gets more child support but still she does not make a livable wage for a family of 3.
I think if possible family should step up to help with the grandkids. Who could love them as much and teach them values better than us.

Answer 10

That IS a part of the problem -- 42 years ago the wife and I agreed that she'd be a professional homemaker cause we were gonna have kids. Financially, we probably could have done better, but neither of us regret that choice. Morality, manners, respect are just a few of the things that get an early start with a stable home --- funny, that's precisely some of the lacking parts of todays PC society.