Hi,
I am typically a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. I ALWAYS do my hair and I more often than not wear make-up, but I feel I can do all this and still look beautiful with a cute t-shirt and jeans on.
Now, my boyfriend is like this, no matter what I'm doing, if I'm going to the gas station, or even if we're just going to Wal-Mart 12 in the morning, he expects me to look the same way I do when going to school or work. This means I have to wear a fancy top with my jeans or a dress, with jewelry, make-up and have my hair done. What's wrong with me wanting to be comfortable every now and then. I went to the store with my hair in a ponytail and well, jeans and a t-shirt on the other day and it really bothered him. Now, let me make this side note. I hate dresses and his ex always wears them, he has done everything in his power to make me wear them even when I say I'm not comfortable in them he still tries. Also, his ex is ALWAYS dolled up. Is he trying to turn me into her?
2007-12-11 15:34:30 · 18 answers · asked by Tnisha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be yourself and do not pretend to be anyone else for his benefit.
He is not going to change. Find a man whop loves you for who your are and do not settle for less than you deserve.
Good luck.
PS You deserve so much more than you realize!
2007-12-11 15:39:38 · answer #1 · answered by box of rain 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is a big problem. Your boyfriend should love you and appreciate you for who you are, how you act, and how you make him feel. Every boyfriend likes it when his girl dresses up and looks nice for him, but it's not normal for a guy to demand it all the time. You need to stand your ground and not change your own style to please him. Try having an honest conversation with him about how this makes you feel, and then accept it gracefully if he chooses to end the relationship. If he doesn't end the relationship, dress the way you want to dress on a day-to-day basis, and get dolled up for him a couple of times a week.
2007-12-11 23:45:39 · answer #2 · answered by Pat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he sounds a wee-bit controlling now doesn't he??? How about turning the tables on him and demanding he get all dressed up every time he goes up to the store for beer or to get gas? Pitch a full-blown fit that he won't dress up for you. After a few times like that, he will either see how ridiculous he has been or really show you how controlling he is. Either way, this sounds unhealthy for you, you deserve better, can do better than this ID10T, and should.
2007-12-12 23:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by nuts4tv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to give him a reality check or leave him. You do not need to deal with a guy who does not love you for you. I do not wear any make up ever. I am usually a t shirt and jeans kinda girl. But I do like to dress nice and Ilke to impress my husband. However he tells me I am beautiful no matter what. He actually likes the fact I do not wear gobs of make up and have to be all primped up. I seriously think you need to tell him that is just how you are. That you should not have to fall into the hollywood hype that women have to be all dolled up to be beautiful. Tell him you are beautiful the way you are whether you are dolled up or in Pjs with your hair a mess in the middle of the night. You are beautiful no matter what and if he does not see that you do not need to be with him.
2007-12-11 23:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by Showers 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself. It's up to him to love you as you are. But he's obviously attracted to a more polished look. I think a compromise is fine, say no jewelry, no dresses and just jeans and a cute top cuz there are some great shirts out there that are very comfy. If you want to keep his interest, be cute, but never sacrifice your sense of self for a man.
2007-12-11 23:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're probably one of those girls who is ugly without make up and he's embarrassed to be seen with you in public. No, really I don't know. Be yourself, dress how you want and be comfortable if he has a problem with how you dress, tell him too bad it's your body and it's your clothes. If he doesn't like that he can't control you like he wants, he can leave. It's not as if you can't find a better man. If a person doesn't like you for how you dress or don't dress, that person doesn't really like you to begin with. Get some confidence woman! Confidence is infinitely more attractive to the right type of man than dressing up.
Besides, no boyfriend, husband or partner has any right to tell the other what to do with their hair, face or body. Don't ever compromise yourself like that.
2007-12-11 23:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is going to be harsh....I apologize in advance.
Your boy friend in my opinion is an idiot.
I can't believe people still act like this. You're his gf, his partner, his love, his darling. He should want you to be comfortable.
If you don't want to get dolled up...he should understand.
He is trying to make you into his ex. Or let me put it this way...he wants to mold you. He wants to mold you into his twisted version of the perfect woman.
DON'T LET HIM! What's next? Barefoot and pregnant?
Tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t react the “right way.” Give him time and see if he makes changes. If he doesn’t change then move on.
I know it sounds easy to say move on but for your sanity I think it best.
So to answer your qestion...yes.
2007-12-11 23:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Super PI 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called 'You're a sex object,' plain and simple. You are his little piece of action and he wants everyone to know it. He's used to his prized possession looking nice to make sure everyine else knows you belong to him so he can feel better about himself. There's no point in bringing your UGLY girlfriend or wife along, so he makes sure you look nice and the way he wants, because he is the wolf, and you are the scared little girl clinging to the alpha, because you don't want to know what will happen to those pretty little features of yours if he leaves your side in the wild, alone with the other wolves.
2007-12-11 23:50:15 · answer #8 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why are you still with a man that has these kind of expectations of you? I think it is great that you feel comfortable enough to go out in public without getting "all dolled up".....Sounds to me like he is wanting you to be just like his ex.....SCARY!!
2007-12-11 23:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it is his, turn to go through what you do to get all dolled up. Ask him to just try it for that hour and a half, at home.
2007-12-11 23:47:38 · answer #10 · answered by tamme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋