“Never Free”
How to embrace this place of pain
Desiring sun, receiving rain
I feel my knees buckling down
Buckling down to beg the ground
How to consume this bitter pill
Forced on me, against my will
Leaving it’s taste here on my tongue
On my tongue it just gets hung
How to exhale this toxic smoke
It wont escape, unless I choke
Live to warn of poison’s hell
Poison’s hell in which I dwell
How to cleanse you from my skin
Now with regret, I let you in
There you became one with me
One with me we’re never free
@644145
2007-12-11 15:13:09 · 10 answers · asked by A*MUSE 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
thanks for any and all imput..i want to grow!!!
this is about abuse, wether it be physical, sexual...or even drug abuse.
the struggles to escape it
the way it creeps into your soul and your forever fighting to keep it out.
2007-12-11 15:40:26 · update #1
Rhymes well, good meter, conveys a message of abuse and cleansing. Well done, let's see more.
dd
2007-12-19 05:50:30 · answer #1 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite good! I especially like the part about your knees "buckling down to beg the ground"
2007-12-12 23:24:41 · answer #2 · answered by Vivena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what is it about? i think it's very personal for you, but i don't have the information about your life to figure out what it means. also, watch the number of beats in each line. you can tighten it up a bit and put in some hints for those of us who don't know you.
2007-12-11 23:28:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
very insightful. I feel much empathy with this poem. Great emotion. Thank You for sharing.
2007-12-19 16:12:12 · answer #4 · answered by loretta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I love it.
2007-12-11 23:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the repetition, but not the end rhyme.
2007-12-11 23:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by anautumnrayne 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, this gave me chills.. you have such a great flow to it. it's beautiful i wouldn't change it.
2007-12-13 23:44:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its amazing i loved it great beyond great job i am awesruct i dont say that a lot!!! keep it up!!!
2007-12-12 01:18:54 · answer #8 · answered by *renfield* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good job
2007-12-12 03:17:06 · answer #9 · answered by Analyst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love it so much!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-12-12 04:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by Ash 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋