My husband sees prost itutes. I am so angry with him. He says I am the guilty one because I do not satisfy him enough, and that I'm getting too fat, so I no longer attract him. So I'm failing in my duty as a wife, so he can do as he pleases.
But I have one year old baby and I'm pregnant with another, And most times I'm too tired caring for the child
2007-12-11 15:10:44 · 34 answers · asked by farzia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In some cultures it's ok for a man to commit adultery. But whoa betide a woman who does it!
2007-12-11 16:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by James M 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
He cannot, in all seriuosness, blame this on you. He has a choice to stick to his marriage vows of standing by you through thick and thin, good times or bad. Or being a dirty, lieing cheat who wastes your much needed money on prostitutes and puts his, your and your children's lives at risk by doing so. Also sex is not a duty and a two way street, the pleasure of it is not for one partner only. Forgive my bluntness but what is wrong with a dirty mag and masterbation? Why hookers?
2007-12-12 07:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by bumbleboi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is so so cruel of him to do that to you. He is not even worth as your husband or even worth to be a father. he has obviously made you pregnant, so you only can be tied down with children and other duties and he can have a good time out. Its quite clear he didnt marry for love. He is not there for you nor for his own kids. Why are you blaming yourself? he is the one who has deceived you during your time of need in life. This is a time when you are going through bringing up his children and are helpless in many ways, such as depression and pressure of looking after children and your own self, and HE should be supporting you and being extremely close to you, loving you and caring for you but instead he is going out else where to satisfy himself! What will you tell your children when they grow up? neither he's a good father, nor a good husband.
2007-12-11 15:39:34 · answer #3 · answered by cherry babe 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
That is so typical of a cheating a-hole. They try to blame you for their sickness. If he can get you to believe that, then he doesn't have to take responsibility for HIS choices and actions. That's what they do to justify being a cheating jerk-off, taking money from his growing family to spend it on getting laid, and putting you and your unborn child at risk for contracting horrible STD's. You are not to blame that the piece of crap you're married to is trying desperately to pass the buck.
Maybe you wouldn't be so tired if he were being a good husband and helping you with your child and around the house. HE is the one that has failed in his duties as a husband. Cheating on his pregnant wife and deliberately damaging her self esteem and humiliating her, isn't supposed to be part of his duties. Was that anywhere in your vows when you married this scum bucket? Sorry honey, you got one of those chauvinist PIGS. This behavior isn't going to stop either.
So unless you want to live the rest of your life, while you raise your children alone, wondering when (not if) you're going to catch something from this sleazy pig, you need to start making some plans on how you're going to move forward to secure a brighter future for you and your children. Someone that loves you would not, could not, treat you that way and then basically tell you that you DESERVE IT?!!.
If he DOES love you, then he needs a HUGE wake up call!! You're going to have to drop him to his knees, that's the only time jerks like him beg for mercy and promise to change his ways. You gotta hit him harder than hard in his pockets.
By that, I mean you need to slap that SOB with some divorce papers. But first you need to quietly set up a seperate bank acct., make sure his checks are set up for automatic deposit to your new acct, get ALL the money out of the joint acct., all before he catches on. So you gotta get your thinkin' cap on girl. It's time to get clever and get yourself properly positioned cause you need to outwit this selfish jerk.
I know this sounds drastic, but six months or a year from now you'll wish you'd have gotten started sooner. You need to drop kick him now and let HIM feel what it's like to be kicked in the gut by a mule. This situation just isn't going to improve but it will get worse. Sorry, but that's the truth. Good luck and God Bless you.
2007-12-11 16:37:51 · answer #4 · answered by Horserider75 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Words fail me when I think of the excuse for a man whom you describe as your husband. When it is convenient for you, Get Out. I know this is easier said than done, with two small children, but he is degrading you and your little family. Can you leave and go home to your parents?. He does not deserve you.
2007-12-11 16:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Apparently he finds you attractive enough to get you pregnant. All of those things he is saying to you is HIS way of making excuses and trying to make you feel like the guilty one. Another thing...I would not let that man ever touch me sexually again because you dont know what else he may be picking up when he is hooking with the hookers. What a pathetic excuse of a man. Get yourself tested so that you know you are disease free and then dump his sick *** real quick. Dont let him make you feel like you arent worthy because he isnt worth it. Get a divorce and free yourself from him. Good luck and God bless.
2007-12-11 15:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
it is absolutely not your fault. He has a serious problem. He should love you for who you are and the fact that he is blaming you for his addiction to prostitutes is pathetic. He is putting your health (and your unborn child) at risk with who-knows-what he may bring home after being with a hooker. You need to decide if this is the man you want to stay married to. His emotional abuse, disgusting habits, and poor excuse for a husband may not be worth staying married to - whether you have children together or not.
2007-12-11 15:17:24 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
No ur not to blame, and please for god's sake make sure u wear protection with him as who knows what he could catch........it's not ur fault and he is a tosser for saying so.....i suggest u tell him to stop it or ur leaving u don't deserve that, hell your just getting over having a baby and ur having another one how dare he say that to u........please please talk and get rid....i would also respond with (if he tells u he won't stop) that he can get his *** out the house and oh yes he couldn't be that slim and attractive as unlike most men who have affairs he has to pay for it cuz no women now would sleep with him without being paid for it...........Good luck honey and remember IT'S NOT UR FAULT, he's just gotta get an excuse from somewhere!!!!
2007-12-11 23:32:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
he is just wrong. i would leave him. u and ur children deserve better. i bet u could go out and find a better man that will treat u like a queen and treat ur kids better too. besides think of the stds that he could be carrying right now. also he could be buying diapers or food for the kids with the money he is spending on these women.
2007-12-11 15:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Farzia, listen. you have to find a way of caring for your precious children without this man. He is obviously selfish and disrespectful towards you, the mother of his children, would he have the same attitude if it were his sister this was happening to, I doubt it. Time to move on, for your sake,
you deserve so much more respect than this,good luck and a happy life ahead to you.xx
2007-12-11 18:10:28 · answer #10 · answered by AnnieG 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him, you might catch something from him. He is horrible, lose the loser.
Edit: Actually °Muslima° mutaah laws: A husband has to have his wife's permission if he is married. So this myth busted to.
Prostitution is haram, so what he is doing is not mutaah in the first place.
If he has a Muslim wife, temporary marriage with an Ahlul Kitab woman is not permissible without her consent; nay, even with her consent, it is not permissible, based on compulsory precaution.
(Sistani)
2007-12-11 16:52:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋