Why are most parents more interested in teaching their children WHAT to think, instead of HOW to think?

Question

I know some people will understand my question completely from what I have written above. Probably the majority will not have a clue and I would be wasting my time if I elaborated. If my question annoys you, you must be in the majority, and if you think it is always good to be in the majority, I send you my blessings with tongue in cheek, as the expression goes.

Answer 1

I guess I'm in the minority, because I think your question is a fantastic one and excellently phrased.

It gives me chills to see parents who are so intensely focused on brainwashing and indoctrinating their children, from "Jesus Camp" to some of the posters here. They seem to think that merely exposing their children to dissenting views will cause the kids to completely reject their own belief systems.

If so...well, their belief systems can't be that credible to begin with, can they?

I'd like to think that I was raised to think for myself. My parents always told me why they were saying no, and gave me another option. When I asked about religion and similar things, they informed me about my religion's tenets, what they believed, and then told me that no one really knew. Our dinners are always full of political argument, and I've learned to question others' beliefs and defend my own. Some things I agree with them on, others I don't.

I try to respect others, but not because I got yelled at to be polite to my elders and spanked if I didn't. Instead, I was taught about the Golden Rule, and that people, by virtue of being people, deserve respect. Not that men should respect women, or children should respect adults - just that people should be treated decently. And I hold the door for others more than most adults I know.

I'm 18 right now, and without being too full of myself, I like to think that I'm far more informed than the majority of my peers. I'm also a registered voter, which most people my age don't seem to be.

There's a difference between trying to give your children a moral and ethical compass to live by, and trying to tell them which political and religious ideologies they should follow as a result. Protecting children from the world is a perhaps well-intentioned goal, but you know what they say about the roads paved with good intentions. The real challenge is to teach kids critical reasoning skills, and then explain to them why you think your beliefs are good. And then, if they disagree, to respect and love them nonetheless.

I think you might enjoy these quotes:

Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied.... The suffragettes refused to be polite in demanding what they wanted or grateful for getting what they deserved. Works for me.
-Anna Quindlen

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
-Khalil Gibram

Sorry to go on for so long, but this question is a refreshing change of pace.

Answer 2

I must be also be in the minority,

I think you have an excellent question.

When you teach your children WHAT to think, you easily mold them into the perfect child you want.

But as already said if by god you let them think for themselves god forbid they may disobey you or even have a different view than yours. Now that would be incredible horrible.

I must also say I am 19 and would like to also say I feel I know much more about the world than any other of the teens around me.

I have a 3.2gpa, 2 savings account, some boonds a mutal fund and I am trying to change my name so they will allow me to register to vote, because apperantly I don't exsist.

Anyway,
Its easier for parents to control their kids if they only teach them what they believe and say, "I told you so"

I would disagree that all parents are getting lazy, I think may be possibly are getting more efficient not necessary they are doing this in the right ways,

But I know when I raise my kids I will let them have their own brain.

I feel another huge problem is not just the parents but the schools. What do they teach.... 1 theory about anything controversial. That is just wrong.... TALK ABOUT BRAINWASHING!

Answer 3

I understand what you're saying, and I strive to teach my son how to understand the world, rather than finite black-and-white opinions. I have never used the phrase "because I said so."

However: It is natural for a person who believes something to be true (absolutely true, in the most concrete sense of the word) to want their children to know the truth also.

For example: I believe very strongly that it's wrong for a man to abuse a woman. There are no shades of gray. It's always wrong. So I'll teach my son that it is always wrong to mistreat a woman-- I won't just teach him how to think about gender relations, or inter-relational ethics-- I'll teach him that abuse is wrong. Period.

Some things ARE black and white. In that sense, there is nothing wrong with a parent teaching concrete truths to his or her child, as long as the child understands the rationale behind them.

Answer 4

Because it's simply easier. Unfortunately in today's time, a large population of parents strictly regurgitate their opinions, but as facts with no intent on explaining to their kids how they formed that opinion.

Let's face it. In today's society, parents are more lazy than ever. Kids are raised by Baby Einstein DVD's and cartoons. And when they start asking those ever-so-complicated questions like: "why?"

Parents simply cop out and say "because I said so".

Frustrating. These kids turn out to be the followers and the ones who have no self identity because society tells them who they're supposed to be. They never learned to figure it out for themselves.

Answer 5

I believe that is being done as a counterbalance to the schools and the governments doing the same thing but in a way contrary to the core beliefs of the parents.

Answer 6

Well my family taught us to be seen and not heard so I'm definitely not on board with that. They didn't care WHAT we thought. Anyway, I feel I am a very moral person so I want my children to think WHAT I think. I think it's important to teach them how you feel and "guess what?" they have a mind of their own and will think what they want eventually anyway.

Answer 7

Most people were, themselves, raised by being told what to think and not how to think so they don't know how to independently evaluate information and, thus, cannot pass on the skill to their own offspring. You cannot teach what you yourself do not know.

Answer 8

Quite the judgemental little person...I guess it makes you feel superior..........
I think most parents want their kids to be happy and successfly and better off than they are................