i am 15, and my boyfriend is 17, he is a laborour, so is verry strong. i was sitting in the kitchen at his mothers house (where he lives.) and me and his mother was saying how pretty i was, and that i must get hit on alot by older boys, because i look about 20 years old. then Jonah (my boyfriend) walked over to me and slaped me across the face with the back of his hand. His mother gasped then walked out of the room. she didnt even say anything! This is the first time that he has ever hit me, but i dont even no what it was about. can you please help me, how do i deal with this, and is it normal?
i have a huge welt on my cheek bone, and a horrible purple bruise.
2007-12-11 14:19:11 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
yes i have asked this before
2007-12-11 14:23:35 · update #1
Leave him. It will only get worse. If he hits you once, he'll do it again, and next time it may be worse.
The fact that his mother didn't even say anything is disgusting. Get away from this abuser and his pathetic excuse for a mother as soon as possible.
2007-12-11 14:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 15⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a case of jealousy/abuse. From your story, you stated: "i was sitting in the kitchen at his mothers house (where he lives.) and me and his mother was saying how pretty i was, and that i must get hit on alot by older boys, because i look about 20 years old." It sounds to me that maybe he heard this, got jealous, and hit you? I'm not making an excuse for this guy, in fact, he has NO excuse, you should never hit anyone, no matter what was said. But that's just a possibility I'm pointing out. However, as I said before, he had no right to hit you. Has he ever been abusive before? You should leave him, the abusive ones are not the ones you want to be with.
~Sonicblur
2007-12-11 22:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by ... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to go to an adult, and tell them what happened. This is called abuse, and no one has a right to ever hit you, no matter what the reason. Your boyfriend may be an abusive one, and it is only coming out now. I don't know what your relationship is like, but this is unacceptable, and definitely NOT normal. I wish you the best of luck, and remember that you are better than a punching bag, do not stay with him if he ever hits you again. God bless
DO NOT STAY WITH AN ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND, ONE HIT IS TOO MANY!
PS: Keep ice on your bruise for the first 24-48 hours. After that, use warm compresses to help break up the coagulated blood in your skin and help your body absorb it faster.
2007-12-11 22:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shows a sign of jealousy and abuse. He has a reason to be jealous, but not abusive. You seem to be very mature looking; therefore, this causes him to be jealous of others and possessive. Especially, if you're talking with his mother that way. I'm sure he didn't like it at all. Plus, you've been together for 2 years, this causes a strong bond between eachother. Jealousy is normal, but abuse is not. Did he apologize? How was his reaction afterwards? If he did apologize and seem sympathetic towards you, then his reactions took over him. He didn't mean to hit you, yet it's wrong. If he didn't apologize to you or seem sympathetic, that's a sign that more of the abuse that can come. I suggest you think back about his reactions. Find it in your heart what to do. It's a shame that reactions can take over someone, but it does happen. Sorry about that. I wish you well.
Violet
2007-12-11 22:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by Violet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens next is one of two things, and you have the choice to determine which one it will be. #1 you can leave him, no no contact of any kind with him in the future, and understand how fortunate you are that you only have a big welt on your cheek. #2 you can stay with him and start counting the welts, bruises, broken bones, imprisonment, verbal abouse, and his complete control of you life you will be experiencing in the future.You will determine your future. His future is as an abuser, it starts with a slap and continues to get worse from that point on.
2007-12-11 22:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by K K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good God no it is most definitely not normal. Based on your recitation of the events it is fairly obvious that his mother isn't a stranger to domestic abuse either. If I were you I would run, not walk, and very quickly away from him and never look back. He is an abuser of the first order and will only get worse! Get out of there young lady, you can find someone better. I would also tell your parents of the event so they can be aware of what is going on with this...scumbag...and take appropriate measures to safe guard you. Get away from him girl, it's only going to get worse. Run now!!!
2007-12-11 23:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by Mike S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this is not in any way normal or proper or even on the gray side of things. This is wrong, and no matter what he says he will do it again. No one should have to feel the way you do or be hurt the way you have. My advice is too get as far away physically and emotionally as you can. I know from experience that sometimes i abusive relationships it can be so easy to blame ourselves, but trust me once you out of that relationship, and have moved on you'll realize just how bad he was. So please just get out of there as fast as you can, cause trust me it only gets worse.
Best of luck to you, sweetie, and remember don't ever let yourself get pushed around by anyone.
2007-12-11 23:04:54 · answer #7 · answered by Paige M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, no matter what is said or done he has no right to hit you. The fact that his mother witnessed this and walked away tells me that either she also is a victim of abuse or she has no control over her son. If she's not correcting him then he isn't learning it wrong! Unless you plan to waste your life on someone who obviously has no problem back handing you whenever you do or say something he doesn't like, ditch him. Life is to short to waste on him. Even if he apologizes, RUN!!!!
2007-12-11 22:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by Nini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please leave him. Trust me I went through the same thing (when I was 15 he was 16). He threw me up against a wall and choked me for standing too close to his brother. I wasn't brave enough to leave him. He even threatened to kill himself if I tried to break up with him. He abused me mentally and physically. I didn't even realize how bad it was. He made me loose all my friends so he was all I had. Thank god he left me for another girl. I was so happy a week later. I finally realized how much happier I am without him. I'm now with a great guy that takes great care of me. Just break all ties with him. Don't try to be his friend right now (wait a year or two). If you do he will try to manipulate you back into going out with him and the cycle will continue. If you need to press charges and serve him with a restraining order. If that is what you want take pictures of the bruises and call the police station and tell them your situation. Please get out of it while you can. I will be praying for you.
2007-12-11 22:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by Shelbi =) 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for any kind of violence, be it physical or mental abuse. You need to end this relationship. We all can give you advice but then its up to you to carry out what must be done in the end. I say ditch the ******** and get on with your life.Your young and have a lot of living to do ,so get out there and enjoy it :)
2007-12-11 22:47:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well girl you must be very pretty for him to get jealous! guys dont like it when their girlfriends talk about getting hit on by other guys! but he had no right to hit you! girl just leave him he is a lot cause because this is just the beginning he will do it again and again! you deserve better and you will get someone better that would want to flaunt you to the world and infront of guys! you can do better!
hope this heaps u!
xxxx
keep us updated
2007-12-11 22:35:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋