How long should you wait after a divorce for your kids to know you are dating?

Question

How long should you wait before you introduce your kids to your friend?

Son is 8 and daughter is 14

Answer 1

I don't think anyone can answer that but you. I would first focus on my kids and building a closer relationship with them first and focus on healing yourself, just take to time yourself. I think you will know when you are ready, but I would take it slow, make sure the person you date will accept and love your and respect you kids the way they should with you.

Answer 2

That is a really touchy answer. It is different for every child. My dad has been married and divorced 5 times. One thing I do have to say is you need to make dang sure that this is a serious relationship and that you know this women is going to be in your life for a long time. If your not sure and you have only been seeing eachother for a short time dont make it known. I have a good friends who has been in a serious relationship with a man for almost 10 years. She met him right after his divorce and theyh fell in love and plan to get married soon. The children who are in there late 20's and early 30's still refuse to talk to her and have anything to do with her and she is the nicest women you ever met she would do anything for anyone. So you never know it is always a risk. So make sure if you are going to tell your kids you need to make sure you really truly love this women and be ready for the possible reactions. Alwasy remember the children need to come first if they are under 18. Never neglect your child for your new love interest. My father was never around and neglected me and my brother because he was off with women. That breeds bitterness in your child. Looking back on it know in my mid 20's I think what kinda women was she? If he was at her house 24/7 where were his kids. My mother died when I was 6. So we were pawned on grandparents or left alone. Just be a good parent first and foremost and everything else will fall into place.

Answer 3

It depends on the children and how they are accepting the divorce as to when you tell them you are dating again. However, I don't think that they should be introduced to someone until you are sure that they may be a constant in your life and the children's. The last thing your children need is people coming in and out of thier lives.

Answer 4

I think it is fine to tell children that you are dating as soon as they are old enough to understand what it is, provided it has been several months since you and your spouse lived together. If they are very young just tell them you are visiting with friends when you leave them with a sitter, and don't introduce a new romance until it is fairly stable. The reason being that it is confusing to children to see a "parade" of different women in and out of their life. If they do form a friendship with any of them, it is just one more loss for them to recover from. If they are older you still need to be careful in introducing someone, as they may be resentful and see your dates as usurping your spouse's place in their life. Don't have sleep-overs until the relationship is very mature.

Answer 5

There is no easy answer for that. You didn't mention how old they are, but even if they are very young, it is hard to hide the truth from them. The have recently lived in a broken family and they will be alert to anything new. They don't want to get hurt again. They may be feeling that the divorce is their fault and just want to fix it and have the two of you together again. However you handle this tell them the truth, also don't put down your ex to them. If he was bad they can see that for themselves and make their own decision. If you try to make it for them they will resent it in the future. Good Luck.pp

Answer 6

not until the relationship between u and ur "friend" is steady and longterm.

and if the kids r mad about the divorce u need to wait till they arent angry......for some its ok and they accept the divorce...for others it takes years to heal. read ur kids signs or ask them how they feel about the divorce. they should let u know.

so wait till they adjust to the situation at hand and then when u feel everyone is ready........u can talk to ur kids about bringing a friend to dinner.....try to get them involved with the friend but make sure its serious...they will be mad again if they get attatched to someone else and then yall break up.

Answer 7

I think it depends on the age of the child. Young kids get attached very quickly so you may not want to bring around a new person until your serious with them. The older the child I think the sooner you can bring your friend around because they are more likely to understand whats going on.

edit: also you should wait until you can trust this person. there are a lot of stories of people dating when they have young children and their new bf/gf ends up hurting or abusing the child.

Answer 8

That is a hard question to answer..there are so many determining factors..How old are your kids?, how is the relationship with their mother?, was it a messy divorce? to name a few. I would say no less than 6 months in the best scenario.

Answer 9

Good luck in your new relationship. I hope your learned from the past. I'm divorced and I will not intoduce a friend unless it's very serious.

Answer 10

There is no standard time frame. It is best to wait until you know that your "friend" is going to be a permanent and steadfast part of your life.