I haven't seen this women since I graduated from college, 7 years ago. She was pregnant when we graduated but she told me that the baby wasnt mine and that she and the father were getting married, which they did. Last week she contacted my ex-fiance, my daughter's mother, to get my contact information because her husband was not her son's father and she think's that I might be. I just finished talking to her and now she wants me to take a paternity test. I offered to get a paternity test when I found out she was pregnant. And tonight she had the nerve to get angry with me because I told her I am not paying for it. I dont think I should have to pay for the damn thing. I was going to pay for it when I offered to take it 7 years ago but I am not now. Is that wrong?
2007-12-11 14:05:36 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
K M- LMAO. Thats some interesting stuff. Thanks alot man, you gave me a laugh on an otherwise horrible night.
I am willing to take the test, I am just not paying for it.
2007-12-11 14:23:59 · update #1
If the State comes after you, you won't have to pay for the test initially. BUT, , if it proves to be your own son, you WILL have to pay after it's been proven.
2007-12-11 14:21:12 · answer #1 · answered by K M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I dont suppose you have to but compared to what you are going to be paying if this child is yours, a couple hundred dollars for a paternity test is nothing. If I were you, I would offer to pay a portion of the fee, that way the courts dont get involved because they will make you pay the entire fee and the relationship isnt strained. If the relationship isnt strained you can also come up with a custody and child support agreement without the courts, which ultimately cost you a hell of a lot less money.
2007-12-11 14:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't say as that you are right or wrong......it really depends on the state law in which you reside, but then, who paid for the paternity test to find out her husband was not the father, but more importantly..why did she wait 7 yrs to contact you or find out herself. If you offered 7 yrs ago to pay for it and she said no, then it may fall on her legally to pay for it now. Frankly, I don't think she has any right to me angry with you about it, since you already offered and she said "NO" and that you were not the father....how did she supposedly know back then that you weren't the father? Sounds like she was just being selfish then and now she wants money for child support, (maybe the husband has refused to continue pay for a child he did not make. Or maybe she knew then that he wasn't the father and he's mad cause she lied to him..knowingly or unknowingly.) You should probably find a "family lawyer" or one that specialized in paternity matters and then see if you can receive a free consultation about it. Just make sure you are "very" clear to such a lawyer about the "whole" story, not just a running ticker of he said/she said...ie: I said "blah blah" and she said "lah lah." Be as specific about "what happened, when, where" such as "She was pregnant and I offered to pay for the paternity test, but she said the child belonged to somebody else, so she said I didn't have to. Now, 7 yrs later she has contacted me and wants me to pay for a paternity test. I don't think I should have to pay since she already told me no. What does our state law have to say in such matters?" Then the two of you can get together to see "who" is responsible to pay for it, assuming you both still want to know.... If you are the father, and if so; then make the proper arraingment for visitation, especially if your intent is of getting to know the child involved.
2007-12-11 14:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Wizard 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She had the chance for you to do it at your cost and she declined. She can pay for it now if she wants it. If the child is yours you obviously are going to have an obligation to that child whether you like it or not. Be honorable, live up to it and make the best of it. That doesn't include letting her walk all over you. Let her pay for it herself.
I'm guessing the husband bailed when he found out the kid wasn't his and now she's wanting you to foot the bill.
Best of luck!
2007-12-11 14:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong.... I wouldn't expect any man to pay for the paternity test of my child.... If she doesn't know who the father is she should pay or at least go for only half the cost......
2007-12-11 14:12:03 · answer #5 · answered by jossieray 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't suppose it's wrong, all things considered.
But it IS small potatoes in the scheme of things. You are rightly overwhelmed at the moment. Take things slowly, because this is a very big deal.
Best of luck, I hope things work out for the best.
2007-12-11 14:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't pay for sh!t- make her prove it. if she wants you to take a test then tell her to pay for it. in fact i wouldn't make any of this easy on her. the ***** should have taken care of this 7 years ago. she's looking for money- f!@# her
2007-12-11 14:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2007-12-11 14:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋