I'm 16 and my parents got divorced when I was 13. They got divorced because my mom was a drug addict and they fought constantly. I used to cry myself to sleep all the time when they were married because my parents were always yelling and crying. Now that they are divorced, I feel better about 90% of the time because i don't have to listen to fighting and I try to push those memories out of my head. I also don't really mention any of it to my friends. But sometimes when people mention certain things it causes the bad memories to come back and I feel sad again, sometimes for days. How can I keep myself from getting all depressed every time someone mentions divorce or drugs? I'm tired of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in my life and I want to be able to get past them.
2007-12-11 13:20:37 · 16 answers · asked by rosieposie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thinks positive of the situation. I couldn't imagine that happening to me, it seems like an horrible experience, but that how you and change things into better. maybe you know is going through the same thing or similar, you can help other people, and dont forget appreciate life and the beauty of it ... sometimes theirs no sun for a while, but when it shines, it lights up the world
2007-12-11 13:26:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're young and have lots of time ahead of you to live life and have fun and later meet the real Mr Right. For right now you should keep as busy as possible to get over things. Do things you'd never think of doing like take up new hobbies, sports, music lessons, horse riding lessons any activity you can find in your area that isn't costly. Keeping your mind busy helps in a break up but by doing stuff you don't normally do forces you to change the routine you shared with your ex and also helps you to meet people. Even joining groups. Maybe you'll make new girlfriends and develop a support for yourself. Also work on your self esteem such as not getting caught up with thinking you'll never find someone and tell yourself everyday you are beautiful. This extra confidence helps you get over the ex and makes you attractive to other guys. Force yourself to smile even when you feel like crying. The more you cry and dwell the worse you feel and you hand the control of your feelings to your ex. Those things are hard but if you stick with it everyday will be better. Then when you add the fact that time heals all wounds you'll be good as new before you know it and you'll wonder why you wasted 5 years with that guy.
2016-05-23 03:44:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry to hear that. But glad that you are doing better than you were before. That is something to be grateful for. Until you become a little more open about what happened to you to yourself and to others (i.e. your friends) it is going to be hard on you when someone brings something up that may upset you. For starters if they don't know how can they be a little more delicate about those subjects around you, and if they are your real friends they would be if they knew. Once you get things out and confront them it is so much easier to deal with them on a day to day basis. Talking about these things is the basis of those dealing with addictions, including family members of addicts. So don't be afraid to talk about these things to someone you really trust and respect. Just pick and choose because as you know some people can be thoughtless and hurtful and those types of people don't need to know. Try and find someone in your family, loved ones or friends you can confide in. Someone who has been there too. There are counselors available of course at school and elsewhere and programs specifically for children and families of addicts. Even if your Mom is not around, you and your Dad are still "recovering" and always will be. That stuff doesn't go away, but it gets better if you deal with it and talk about it when you need to. It will get easier as you go and get it out. I know its hard, have been there in different ways myself. Sorry this is soooo long but this spoke to me and I have a daughter about your age. So good luck and I will pray for you and your family. It will get better. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!! You deserve it.
2007-12-11 13:51:29 · answer #3 · answered by William B music lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly sound very mature for your age and you're on the right track by wanting to be positive. No child should have to go through what you went through but it sounds like things are looking up for you. However, there still may be some lingering unresolved issues that still need to be addressed and worked out in your mind. I would recommend seeking the help of a school psychologist or another professional like a guidance counselor or a teacher or you trust to help you work out some of these issues. Don't be afraid to consult these professionals as that's what there job is to help you be the best you can be despite your past obstacles. Best of luck to you.
2007-12-11 13:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by Gabfest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't "make" yourself happy, and neither can anyone else. You have to "let" yourself become happy by accepting whatever feelings you have right now.
I recommend reading a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. You may be surprised at how helpful it is.
2007-12-11 13:24:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweet heart, i am really sorry you had to go through that, and be constantly reminded everyday. but you should find a friend that you truly trust and talk to them about it, because that helps me a lot. i have had a rough road, not with my parents but with my husband and the family that we tried to build. unfortunately because of his foolish ways it all fell apart... the foundation was no good. i hope that you find someone that you can talk to about it with. you may not believe the same way i do, but i will be thinkin of you when i pray.
2007-12-11 17:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time for bad memories to fade. Just keep moving on with your life and do your best to put the past behind you.
Remember "it is not our condition, but the caliber of our soul, that makes us happy". (Voltaire)
2007-12-11 13:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by Dave W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, chickie,
My mom pimped me and my three sisters out to a pervert uncle so she could hit the bars...and the dudes. You know what really ended up helping me, 'cause I really hated myself, was...church.
No sh*%t.
My dad thought me and my sisters were WT because of our mother. Going to church helped me love myself for the first time. Made me realize that her crap didn't flow onto me. Hope this helps...it's not your fault, girl.
2007-12-11 13:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by crazy *itch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a deep breath... now realize that you have nothing to worry about anymore. the bad part is over and you have your whole life ahead of you. there will always be drugs and yelling in the world and you will hear about it but it is up to you how you react to it.
2007-12-11 13:24:46 · answer #9 · answered by fantasy gal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is an organization for families of addicts, you could find out through the a.a. A lot of people don't realize that they have to recover too. it might help you
2007-12-11 13:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by Jenny G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋