sadly the babies died in my stomach. i am very pregnant and my doctors arent sure if it will be a regular miscarrage or a still birth
my kids are 12, 9 [twins], and 7
my 12 year old will understand it all but what about the younger ones?
2007-12-11 13:16:01 · 17 answers · asked by Miss Migle 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm sorry for your loss. I my son was stillborn. Here is a great book for your kids:
Where's Jess: For Children Who Have a Brother or Sister Die
Of course all your children will understand. A miscarriage or stillbirth is determined by how far a long you are when the baby dies.
2007-12-11 13:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by JS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to explain to my son about my sister having one, he was six. the only thing you can do is tell them the truth, that for some reason the baby was not thriving and it died. If they have ever dealt with death before, even in a pet, they will understand. And because they have not seen the babies they will deal with it a little different. my son took it rather well, he was sad, but ok. my nephew on the other hand age 7 at the time took it harder cause it was his baby sister that his mother lost. but he was ok, and depending on how far along, in some cases they will allow you to have a service for the child, or children. this may help with the grieving, but it could also make it harder.
sorry for your loss :(
2007-12-11 13:26:49 · answer #2 · answered by shawn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is one of the hardest things you will have to do. The only thoughts I have is, go with your gut. Be honest but not to many details unless they ask for more info. I think you should give the younger ones more credit for understanding things. I have a 7 and 8 year old as well as a 14 year old so I can identify with you on handling explanations for different ages.
Your family will be your rock!!!! I'm so sorry for the loss all of you are suffering.
2007-12-11 13:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by nailmagik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How far along were you and did they know you were pregnant?
And just be honest with the kids. Even the 7 and 9 year olds will get it. Just tell them (if they knew you were pregnant) that a sad thing happened to the babies and that God took them to be in heaven with them (or in whatever you believe). I would try to steer away with that the babies died - that might be harder on the 12 year old. If they didn't know about it, I wouldn't tell them. They don't need to be burdened with it.
2007-12-11 13:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mischele, RN♥ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You may want to consider a funeral for your babies. It will allow your children, the rest of your family, and yourself to help face the death of the child and get closure. Most funeral homes will do a stillborn funeral for either very cheap or free. The babies could be buried together and on top of grandma or grandpa or any other relative that has passed before. The service could be a one day thing with just your family.
2007-12-11 13:27:55 · answer #5 · answered by JEN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer goes back to the birds and the bees and baking a cake. Start with small examples of such animals like the bees do not always develope quality larva and birds eggs rely on proper fertilization and incubation such as baking that cake that wouldn't rise in the oven. Most children used to learn these things from being raised on a farm or having pets.
2007-12-11 13:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by David S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My children are much younger but when that happened to me I just told them that the baby got very sick and wasn't able to come out of my belly like he was suppose to. They have another brother that passed away a couple years ago so they understand that he "went up to heaven". I just told them that this baby did also.
2007-12-11 13:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My mom explained it to me, when I was very little, that God needed the baby as an angel and so he had to take him back, but that we would see the baby in the next life.
2007-12-11 13:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't just tell them exactly like it is they will never trust you to be completely open with them and in return they will turn into adults who either butter up everything like your example or
just the opposite and become tactlessly truthful to where every answer would be a deliberate hurt. The choice is yours, now is the time you are creating values in your children or THE LACK OF THEM!!!
2007-12-11 13:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by Tina Zecca 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
my mom told me in my room she just come in after coming home from the hosital and sat on my bed gave my candy and said sometime bad things happen. the baby wasn't well so he returned to god and is in a better place. so we prayed.
2007-12-11 13:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by judith a. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋