Why do you think people date for years (over 7) and not get engaged?

Answer 1

Why cross the road only to continue walking in the same direction?

Answer 2

Well, there are a lot of reasons. I've been in the same situation lately. My former boyfriend and I had been dating for about 5 years. He's going to be a missionary - so we'll be away a lot of the time. In marriage, and a distance relationship sorry isn't going to cut it. You have to be certain.

I wanted to get married in 2009 - instead of december 2008 - which somehow led to a huge misunderstanding and breakup - which isn't what I wanted. Anyway, i'm saying that I was hoping to wait longer
to be closer (he's been away a long time) to plan the wedding together, to spe nd time together, to talk about some differences we were running into and to go to marriage counseling.

I think the timing has to be right. But, I also think that it is important for both individuals to be on the same page. Like, we'd been talking about marriage for a long time but when he was actually going to propose, it finally sunk in and was a bit overwhelming until I could sort it all out..!


hope this helps some.

Answer 3

I just squeeked in under this time frame - 6 years. Just got engaged Saturday! I basically decided to end it b/c I KNEW what I wanted, and he needed to move on. But he decided and he's ready. I am a single mom. The hardest thing to do, or not do, is bring people in and out of a child's life. This man is good to and for my child. How often will you find that? And I kind of like him, too :-) So things are working out well. Had we moved forward in marriage two or more years ago, it may have ended badly. We worked through a lot of things. Every relationship has to work through things. Some things aren't worth bothering with, but our things are normal things that all couples will deal with sooner or later. It took us a long time, but it was worth it. We're both in our 40's. Marriage does mean something to me. If you're too afraid to sign a piece of paper, then I question the backbone. It takes a lot of courage to make that commitment, esp. when children are involved.

Answer 4

Preventation is always better than cure and it will always be. And looking at present time where divorce rate is increasing, it is better to wait (but obivious if both the parties are ready to do so) and when they feel its the right moment then get married. Moreover marriage is not the only utmost thing in life you have to also see the comfortability, compatibilty and people have so many dreams related to marriage hence dont want to take chance by choosing wrong partner, afterall its individuals wishes.

Answer 5

ive dated two men for 4 years a peice ( different times ) - and one of them proposed more than once but it didnt feel right with the first one - the second weve talked about marriage and know we have so many things to work through before we even consider going that far - we both feel marriage is a life time commitment - and the things we disagree on wont be fixed my a wedding band - even though we love each other deeply - we dont know how to settle some of our issues - and theyre not issues that can easily be compromised - even when love is at stake -

Answer 6

Because they're comfortable with the relationship not progressing. They say they are scared of marriage but secretly don't want to get married to their significant other; they're always waiting, just in case something better comes, but like the comfortably of a long-term relationship. If your waiting for the other to marry you, then take a stand, don't wait for them to decide what your gonna do with the rest of your life! Most do it because they can!

If your afraid to be "stuck" with someone, then marriage shouldn't be on the table. You should be honored that they want to marry you and lucky to have them. You should be excited and overjoyed to get married!

Answer 7

a) Because like me, they don't believe in the wedding ritual, but unlike me, they don't have friends and family members who delight in frivolous religious ceremonies and therefore feel no need for a public display. In this case, they are committed. Why? Various reasons.

b) They have a mathematical take on romance and know that chances are they're not going to be together for the rest of their lives and don't want to deal with a divorce when the break up comes along. Of course, divorce is one of the benefits of marriage, but they don't see it that way. In this case, they are not committed. Why not? Various reasons.

Answer 8

I wouldn't be in a relationship for 7 years without being married for at least 4 of them! I guess some people are just ok with being bf and gf - they might not feel the need to get married and are just as happy without being married.

Answer 9

Because they are not ready to be married, and they cannot make that kind of a commitment. I know a couple that go to my church, and they have been together for 7 years, or so. They aren't engaged or anything, and actually, I think the boyfriend is moving, so they will no longer be together... kind of sad.

Answer 10

Cuz they're not that into each other. They want to be together, but not in the long run. Or they want an easy way out if they get tired of each other or meet another person, instead of having to deal with a huge breakup or a divorce.

Answer 11

Not all people need to be married to feel committed. Some people see marriage as unnecessary, and are able to feel just as committed without the ceremony or piece of paper.