I hate my mother sooo effing much. Dont ask why. Theres a history one that hurt even thinking about. how can i get over it. I want to move out and start afresh. Forget she exists, pretend shes dead. Its so hard though. i have vindictive thoughts. i dont like it. what can i do? Has anyone ever been in the same situation? how do i move on?
2007-12-11 12:38:13 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok..ppl..listen..i know this is marriage and divorce i made a mistake. she physically abused me. i have scars all over my body. i cant take of my clothes in front of my friends. when i was 12 i was molested by one her bf and she accused me of wanting to take him away from him. says its because i stare too much. case closed i earned it. So if you dont understand abuse and how much it fucks you up dont answer. i need advice.
2007-12-11 12:56:16 · update #1
just move out.. Hold on how old are you?? why can't you move out... believe it or not but your mother loves you so pay her some respect cause your living in her house... Move out and pretend shes dead if you want but if I were you I would keep the peace with her until you do....
Sorry I didn't read the last bit... You should call child services and get some professional help for what your mother is doing to you.. she should be jailed.. for that I am truley sorry
2007-12-11 12:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
You don't say in your post how old you are. There is no law that says you have to maintain a relationship with your parents once you are of legal age.
You have the right instinct - move out and go independent. Don't ask for money or take anything from her that she can use against you. You make the rules governing the relationship. If you don't want to have contact with her...then don't have any.
If you are not of legal age you have a tough situation ahead of you for a few years. If you an obliged to live at home I suggest you concentrate on your education as much as possible. The better your education, the better job, more money you'll be able to make and the quicker you can escape her clutches. Find a safe way to vent your vindictive thoughts; for instance, keep a journal or vent here online.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-11 21:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by krinkn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not enough information in your question to really know what is going on .. in order to help you .. however, I will say this much.
One of the most unhealtiest things a person can do in this world is to hate their mother. Really. It can cause so many deep emotional problems that lots of things can be formed due to hating your mother.
I don't know what your mother did to get this hate from you .. and I DO know that lots of mothers are not the best, and they may do awul things ... but you need to make this situation as healthy for you as possible.
I have NO idea what your mother has done to you .. or how bad .. so it is hard to say what to do.
Calm down. Try to get over the madness .. and hopefully the vendictive thoughts will leave, or lessen, when you have calmed down some.
Your mother, will always be your mother, nothing will ever changed that. But if you really hate her .. then move away .. and cut all ties ... but know this - it will always be a heavey load to carry. The load will be so heavy that it may seem unbearable.
If your mother has done something so awful that it is hideous - then you may want to get away forever.
If what your mother has done is not real bad - then you might first consider talking it out .. reconciling the differences .. then move on down the road after you have accomplished this. You could move on a lot easier settling it .. than moving on with hatred in your heart, and being mad.
You might ask yourself .. can you get over it? Do you want answers .. or to settle it first?
You CAN control your thinking process .... so don't allow bad thoughts of vindictiveness to stay in your mind .. shush those thoughts away.
You really need a good person to talk to about this ... someone who you can trust .. and who would have honest answers for you.
Pray to God to help you .. and to lead you through this.
Best wishes to you.
The first thing for you to definely do .. is to calm down .. and let the madness leave. The hurt will stay .. but recognize the differences.
2007-12-11 21:04:47 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok. A. Learn different catagories. You're asking in the wrong one.
B. I don't know WHAT your mom has done to you, I'm assuming you're young, if you're under 18, do what I did, find some form of support (friend, cheap rent somewhere) and move out. You'd be surprised how much parents CAN'T do about it when you're 16-17. Also, cops can apparently kick out a 17 year old onto the street, so it should be vice versa. (I lived this, I know.) If you're over 18, quit bitching and just move out.
There is def. a difference between a mother and a mom.
-Melly
2007-12-11 20:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by melly_pwnz 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I was a kid my mother treated me so poorly... It happens. She reminded me constantly that she never wanted me. When I was 16 she sent me away... Was it my fault? - NO!! I was a child & no matter what, she should have loved me like one. I am now a grown woman with children of my own who are teens. I changed the cycle she established. I love my kids with all my heart & they know it. My mother & I have a strained relationship because to her I owe her respect because she is my "mother". I beg to differ. People need to think before they act. You will take this abuse with you for the rest of your life. If you are able to move, GO! And when you do, please remember, this is not your fault!!! She is jealous of you & there is nothing you can do to change how she feels. I am so sorry, I really hoped I was the only one with a disfunctional family & mother like this... If you're wondering what we are like now, I ignore her... I cannot have negitivity in my life & where she is concerned, that's all I get. She's even gone as far as to try to turn my kids against me, visits with my exhusband like he's still apart of the family, & talks about me behind my back to all of her family... I squished each lie or knife she has stuck in my back. I wipe the knife clean & hand it back to her. If I give her any attention, I can be sure to have the knife stuck in my back again. The bonus, is it's not my heart!! When we speak, it's brief. When we see each other it is for only an hour once or twice a year. It works for me. When she lays on the guilt trip, I ignore her again... To try to explain it to her is like talking to a tree!
2007-12-11 21:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by T. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can move out and act like she is dead. My family is to me. You do not have to stay in contact with people just because they are related to you. It does not give them the right to be mean to you and to abuse you. You do not need her to live your life. Have you ever talked to anyone about all of this? How old are you? Try not to have vindictive thoughts. She will die a lonely old woman because she will not have anyone. I would move as soon as you can and forget about her. It will bother you less when you do not have to deal with her or see her. Good luck to you.
2007-12-11 21:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also hated my mother. Spent some good $$$ on a psychiatrist to figure out that it was just a personality conflict. (His key question was, "If your mother was not your mother, but was your best friend's mother, would you like her?" I wouldn't.) I graduated from high school on a Thur and moved out on Sat. I went back for visits, but not to live. My mother threw away everything I owned, including clothes, yearbooks, photo albums, Boy Scout Awards, records, etc. So be careful how you move out and how you leave your relationship with your mom.
2007-12-11 21:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should have clearly posted this on a psych site. You need to pray and ask God to forgive you for those thoughts because no matter what the history, that is your mother. we can not pick our parents nor our children and if you feel that way about her, how you think she feel about you. Hope you become a mother some day. Repent quickly before He strike you down.
2007-12-11 20:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by Precious1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should move out and get on with your live. Why you hate your mother, i have no idea, but she is your mother and somehow you have to figure this out. You need to go to a counselor and get some help with this so you can move on. You only have one mother and you'll never have another one, sometime in your life you have to get over this. I would also pray and ask for help, as god loves you and your mother and he wants you to love your mother.
2007-12-11 20:50:18 · answer #9 · answered by carol p 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i always say that u can replace a dad but a mom is forever ..she may have done something that hurt u but then again who said parents are perfect ...unless she actually did it on purpose without remorse then thats different but either way why dont u try sittin down and talkin to her and lettin her know what she did was hurtful to u and your havin a hard time forgiving her ...honestly truth be told ive had the worst fights with my mom but then i think what or how would i feel if she died tomorrow ???? think really hard about how u feel and make sure your not feeling it cause the wound is still fresh ....
2007-12-11 20:47:38 · answer #10 · answered by angelbaby 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋