Have you read Dear Abby lately?

Question

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the
beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse,
everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a
new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot
the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.
Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like
me and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman! You don't need him anymore!
You're a Senator from New York , running for President of the United
States .... Act like one

Answer 1

What goes on between a man and a woman concerning their marraige and family it no ones business but their own.
Since leaving office just six years ago, Clinton has become a kind of global expeditor, traveling to more than 84 countries and using his iconic status to fight poverty, childhood obesity, global warming and AIDS. Even a quadruple bypass in 2004 couldn't slow him down.
He gives several speeches a month, and he's written two best-selling books, including his current one, "Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World."
The only ones who hint at Hilary being a lesbian are Republicans.
Who is to say what another person needs?

Answer 2

If I were a woman like her and had a husband like him and a daughter that looked like a cross between a squirrel and a horse I would seriously think of moving on to something better too! Here's a star just for you.
But then again, if you remember the last year of his reign he was at the first Yankees game of the season with her and a Secret Service guy leaned over his shoulder and whispered in his ear. He said Oh, okay. Then grabbed her by the back of the neck bent her forward pulled her back then threw her out on the field. The the Secret Service guy leans forward again and said ' That was throw out the first pitch, Mr. President!'

Answer 3

The bride and groom's, of course. It is nice to make considerations for special needs of your guests (options for dietary restrictions, etc), but in the end it is up to you. If someone had told me lavender couldn't be one of my wedding colors, for whatever reason, I would have said, in a regretful voice, "I'm so sorry. We'll miss having you there." My wedding was small, just the kids and their families, and my best friend and her family. Luckily everyone was a good sport. They knew this was mainly an indulgence. I didn't have a "real" wedding the first time around (got married at the courthouse), so my new husband allowed me to have my fantasy wedding this time. Everyone just allowed us to play it out the way we wanted. It was a fairy tale for me, and was definitely one of the best days of my life. I wouldn't have wanted to change a thing.

Answer 4

I love this one!!!! I am still laughing out loud and am going to send this one to a bunch of friends.

Answer 5

they don't print it in my paper anymore

Answer 6

That was a goodie and I am going to print it in a second.

Answer 7

HA HA , that made me laugh!
Thanks for making my day.
I was going to vote for her, poor thing.

Answer 8

This one rates very high on my list of very good jokes! Thanks for the big laugh! This is tremendously funny!

Answer 9

This is a GOOD one. THANK YOU!!! I could use a laugh or two today.

Answer 10

Good one.