My g/f and I have been dating for about 6 months. I'm 19 and she is 22. I'm in the military and the majority of the time we were together, she was unemployed. She has a son that she does not have custody of nor ANY visitation rights to.
About a week ago she told me she wanted a break to think about her son. I came and saw her about 4 days later and everything was fine. I gave her flowers and we kissed and everything. I go home and she sends me an email saying that she had met someone else and really likes him.
We're not together now, but she tells me if things don't work out with him, she'll consider coming back to me.
How could she do this!!!! we were together six months and the whole time she was saying how much she loved me and wanted to have kids with me and MARRY ME. She even told me that she wanted me to adopt her son. She ignored me suddenly after six months!!!! no contact at all.
She says I'm too young for her....I'm only 2 years younger!!!!
Will she come back?
2007-12-11 12:14:32 · 27 answers · asked by kylej088 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't want her to come back.. She has proven to you that she doesn't love you.. why would that be acceptable to you? Why don't you decide to love yourself first, and wait for a woman who will cherish you the way you will her?
2007-12-11 12:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by nikki f 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe to use you. Hun, you deserve better. clearly she may be older, but very imature and selfish. This isn't how people should be treated. You need to manup and tell her no, you will not be there when she decides she is tired of this other guy. She is going for whoever she can leech on to. Several red flags, 1 no job, whats her excuse, seriously?? that's no ambition and no thoughts of her future, she would only mooch off the people she can. You have to work and so do other people, why shouldn't she? 2. Her son? are you kidding me? what on earth ? why would she not have a job so she could try to gain back custody. i am a single mother of 2, and there is NO reason that I would EVER not fight for custody, let alone loose it by selfish stupiduty. and don't be a sap and fall for the abusive x. She had choices and she isn't fight ing to get son back, she isn't working and she's jumping from man to man, saying this guy or that can adopt him. Are you kidding me. I would NEVER alow anyman to adopt my children, they have a dad, though we aren't together, adnif it were a situation where they could be adopted by a new husband etc.. Lket me tell you, it would take way more that 6 months before I'd throw that around as an option. She has issues, you can't fix her. You are better off, and I'd even go as far to ssay, RUN LIKE HELL, cause she doesn't need to have any more babies, until she gets a job, and education, a stable life of her own and respect for herself, child and other people, She has none of that and would only bring you down with her. with a lot of heartache on the way.
2007-12-11 20:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would you want her to come back? Some tough truth here
1) if she already has a kid and doesn't have custody of him it shows that she either didn't care about him and didn't want him or she couldn't take care of him and he got taken away. This tells me that she is irresponsible and immature with no concern for commintment.
2)If she told you that she'll consider going back to you if it doesn't work out with this other guy she's basically telling you that you're only good to her as last resort/seconds. This is extremely selfish, tasteless and vulgar of her. She sounds like a horrid person by saying such a thing.
3) If she's unemployed, it shows that she's not only lazy but wanting to live off of someone else. She was mooching off of you while you were together.
I am going to assume since you are in the military that you are a responsible person. The military teaches strength, commintment, hard work, perseverance, etc. It takes a good man to be a soldier and thank-you for serving our country. My assumption is that you are a good man and you deserve much better than what that discgrace of a woman tried to offer.
Forget about her, she's not worth remembering anyway. You'll soon find a good woman that deserves you and treats you right!
2007-12-11 21:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts? Do you really want a woman that wants someone else but will come back if it does not work? You will be second choice and you will only be temporary until she finds another. She does not have her son or visitation rights and you want to have kids with her? Wake up son. She is not a good woman. Do you know how bad you have to be to lose your son and not be awarded visitation? Do you really want that as the mother of your children? She cannot have you adopt her son. He has a father and he would have to allow that. Stop waiting for her and go find yourself a girl that you would not be ashamed to take home to your mother. You deserve so much better and so do your future children. Never have kids with a woman like this.
2007-12-11 21:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy. This may sound mean but you need to hear it. If a woman doesnt have custody or even visitation of her child, she has to have been one heck of a loser- that is so rare and it takes a lot for it to happen. If she went with another man, why would you want her back? I am sure that at 19 you think you want her but trust me, you will be sooooo much happier later on without her. That no custody or visitation thing is a giveaway- seriously, you can do MUCH better.
When I was in the army (1990s), one of my young privates married a girl, she ended up becomming a stripper, at first he was cool with it, then she left him, he fell apart, wanted her back and so on. I had a female private who married a stoner skateboard type who ended up leaving her in massive debt, locked into a long term lease and worse.
Guess who had to repair these two young peoples lives??? Me and I was barely 23 yrs old but that is army life.
Trust me my friend, you are better off and in a couple years you will realize it
2007-12-11 20:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my man, let me 1st say thank you for your service to our country that let's us have the freedom to communicate like this.
Next off I'd like to be blunt...She does not respect you at all! It is a gift from heaven that she left you. She already has a child from someone else she left in the past my friend. Do you see a pattern here? The bigger question is; do you respect you? Are you left overs? Didn't I hear you say you are in the military? You sound way to good for that kind of treatment. You simply need to realize that you are worth more than that bud.
If your buddy left you high & dry in a fox hole while you were taking on grenades to go get a drink of water then, told you he'd be back if he got tired of drinkin, would you continue to trust him w/your safety??? See where I'm going???
2007-12-11 20:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by joetrainer31 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things don't work out with the other guy, she'll consider coming back to you? Awwww...how sweet of her!
So, you're in the military protecting our country, meanwhile, letting this girl lead you around by the nose? That's a scary thought.
Get your head on straight soldier!
2007-12-11 20:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may the younger one but someone who says all that to u and then just picks up and leaves u for someone else is the one that has problems hang in there the right one will come along
2007-12-11 21:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you want her back? You are 19 and in the military. It's the best time to be single. You can do whatever you want. Date women in every country that you are posted in. Enjoy life and serve with honer.
2007-12-11 20:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by Dave G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wait
this ful is in the military ? the government saw fit to give her a gun?
i would call her commanders and tell them
that she is bat **** crazy
and that she needs to be evaluated.
my friend is a marine
he tells his troops 'if the marines had wanted you to have a girlfriend ,they would have issued you one'
she's nutz.
there are alot of women looking for dedicated men.
don't spend any more time on her.
**********
im sorry i read it wrong
i thougth she didnt have custody because she was in the miltary too.
if she lost custody of her kids , what makes you think
she's going to stick around for you?
2007-12-11 20:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by get_christie_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure if things don't work out with this other fellow..but think now do you really want her back.. she will only do this to you again.. she don't love you.. wake up .. she is only using you till something better comes along.. not that your not the best.. but it is something else she is searching for.. there are woman out there who marry service men because they are gone for most of the marriage .. that allows them to be free.. so they can see other men.. and with the war going on.. sorry but added bonus if something should happen to you and you never return.. my dad was in the navy.. that was the main reason my mom married him.. so when he died she would have his checks.. and medical care... and she does.. she keeps telling me to marry a service man,..i keep saying no.. think i will keep my bf
2007-12-11 20:24:28 · answer #11 · answered by vis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋