Dear Dr. Dover:
I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous. After being married for seven years and having had 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless.
After getting married I was advised to use the rhythm method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-Cha. Apart from that, where do you find a band when you get the urge at two o'clock in the morning?
A doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks for the safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work, and the wife got pregnant.
A lady of several years' experience said if we made love while breast feeding we would be all right. Well, I finished up with clear skin, Silky Hair and was very healthy, but the wife got pregnant yet again.
Another tale we heard was if the wife jumped up and down after intercourse this would prevent pregnancy. She slipped a disk but still got pregnant again.
I asked the chemist about the condoms and he demonstrated them, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which did not surprise me as I never did believe how stretching one of those things over your thumb could prevent babies.
We tried the coil next but that didn't work. It had a left-hand screw and my wife is definitely a right-hand screw.
The Dutch cap was next and seemed to be our answer, but my wife got severe headaches when the only size available was too tight across the forehead.
Eventually we tried the Pill, but it kept dropping out, so she tried it between her knees and I couldn't get anywhere near her.
You must appreciate my problems. If I can't have the operation I will have to resort to oral sex, and I can't believe that talking about it is any substitute for the real thing.
Yours sincerely,
2007-12-11 12:00:38 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
You get another star! I had a "copper 7". She's 29.
2007-12-11 12:09:17 · answer #1 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You could try Michael P's method, but might I suggest you good ahead with the operation (got an old rusty pocket knife if you wanna save a couple of bucks). ;0) har de har har
2007-12-12 01:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its four thirty am, I can't sleep, the cat keeps running across my key board, my nose is running and so are my eyes and to top it all I have just wet my self laughing. Good morning Sunshine.
2007-12-11 15:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's a funny joke! I thought it would be like his life insurance agent or something.
2016-04-08 21:43:20 · answer #4 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,it sure sounds a lot better that the guy that took Viagra and it got stuck in his throat;all he got was a stiff neck!
2007-12-11 13:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by gummyworm 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If Tommy Cooper had been alive, this would have been his dream performance. I would have recommended that he buys the new dual-action pill ........ its comes in packets of two ... one weighs twenty kilograms and you push it against the bedroom door .... so hubby cannot get in. The other one is pea sized ... you pop it in your hubby's shoe and it makes him limp ........
2007-12-11 12:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
That one is definitely going to all in my address book. At least those that aren`t on here that is. Great joke.
2007-12-11 14:38:37 · answer #7 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can not talk 3 pregnancies and not one planned,
2007-12-12 01:26:55 · answer #8 · answered by Diamond 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pity the poor fool who loves this hilarious lover.
2007-12-11 12:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There's always that old book...whadda the guy use......ohhhh
warm beef liver....feels like the real thing and you'll still get the vitimins........
2007-12-11 12:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by Carol (Yeah I said it!) G. 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋