David and I have been hanging out for a couple months now. He is white and I'm mixed.
He made a comment the other day about "*******" I was so shocked that I did not say anything at the time.
I really like this guy but I don't know if I can look past it.
2007-12-11 11:55:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I had a friend who used that word too in a fit of rage and fear. As soon as he said it, I called him on it. I told him that was unacceptable in my house and around me, and that he shouldn't use it again. I told him that I didn't care what the circumstances were, that it was not okay - that he was a smarter person than to stoop to that level. I think he got the point so we remained friends for a while. We aren't anymore, but that's a different story...
I would talk to David about it. Find out if it's about him thinking it's an okay word since it is tossed around freely these days or if it's a mindset. That should help your decision in how you want to proceed. Regardless of reason, tell him how you feel about it, and that you would appreciate him not using the word.
2007-12-11 12:04:52 · answer #1 · answered by Jareth's Trousers 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I could not look past that. Ask him what he meant by it and who he was referring to. It depends on your perception of things because some people may call somebody white a ******. It is just a word and anybody can say it. Maybe he felt comfortable saying it around you because you are white?? Some may feel comfortable saying it because you are black. They may think because black people say it then it's no big deal.
2007-12-11 12:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by wonderwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several years ago, our truck driver, a black, would often come into our office (of 4 retired Navy guys, all from north of the Mason-Dixon Line... upstate NY, PA, and 2 of us were from Michigan) and make comments about OLD REDNECKS (we ranged in age from 56 to 45). One day he came in during lunch and I was reading a book by Tom Clancy. He asked me if that was one of those 'redneck' books. I told him, "It's a book you colored boys wouldn't understand." That was in 1998 and he has NEVER used the term REDNECK in our presence again.
Now, if one of US used a derogatory term about HIS background, he'd have filed a grievance against us.
2007-12-11 12:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by AmericanPatriot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the context. I would say call him on it, and if he doesn't apologize, reevaluate your friendship. Since you've only known him for a couple months, I would guess you don't know everything about him, and he could very well have racist feelings. Good luck.
2007-12-11 12:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its hard to get over. Most of the time it depends on how close you are to the person. You may be friends but if the friendship is not strong then it will be hard to be over it.
For example, I had a Filipino friend I always hung out with. I was good friends with him but I would not say he was my best friend. One day we were watching a boxing fight involving a Mexican fighter and a Filipino fighter. I over heard him make a racial comment regarding Mexicans. Even though I'm not Mexican, I am Hispanic and to me degrading Mexicans is as similar as degrading Hispanics. I held my anger and ever since I have not been the same friend I was to him before. I do talk to him but I am just not as close to him as before.
My advise to you would be to examine how close your friendship is with David and if you think your friendship is worth holding on to then just talk to him about his comment and what you feel about it. If he truly cares about you and your friendship then he will apologize for the comment he made.
2007-12-11 12:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by Leon 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Thomas Moore you could benefit from some psychological help. Your intense hatred will eat you up like a cancer. It is a very sad thing.
2007-12-11 13:22:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wonder what Thomas Moore has to say about white trash.
2007-12-11 12:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by Jane D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, i wouldnt be able to cuz if he can say the word, that means he feels the word..... and he isnt being real with you!!!!
forget the guy.... not even worth mentioning it to him so he can deny his true feelings!!!!
thomas moore needs to STFU!!!!!!!!
2007-12-11 12:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Rhonda 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If it was a one time isolated thing, give him the benefit of the doubt and let it go. If it happens often confront him about it.
2007-12-11 11:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Phil K 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
No, tell them how offensive it is to you. And, walk away from them if you must.
2007-12-11 12:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by annswers 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋