on my other question a lot of women said i lied to her and cheated her out of motherhood and predicted us getting a divorce. do you really see that big of a deal
2007-12-11 11:49:50 · 25 answers · asked by rico.v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK...if you new before you got married, it's a HUGE deal! so good luck buddy
2007-12-11 11:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by starting over 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Granted this is a question for men and I am very much a woman, but I will dive into the waters and take a stab at it. When did you find out you were sterile? Was it after you got married, then you did nothing wrong, unless you led on discussions of natural children after you found out.
Remember adoption and invitro fertilization (and there's one more procedure along those lines that I forget the name of) are all options.
Unfortunately, if you knew about your sterilization a long time ago and fueled her hopes of becoming a mother, she may harbor resentment for that. Still, the other options are available. You may have to help her and support her through the change in her dreams (assuming she has dreams of having children), but if you really love her, all will be well.
2007-12-11 19:57:24 · answer #2 · answered by Taylor-Benedict 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a huge huge deal!!! that IS a lie, cause you married her and were not open and honest about something you know, that affects her future as well as yours. YOu ned to be honest. There are other options, adoption, artificial insimination etc.. had you given her an honest chance to make a decision that affects her ever being a mother, she would have had choices in alternatives. Now you have cheated her cause she probubly thinks you can have kids and if you ever try, it is a horible, horible thing for a women to worry if something is wrong with her, and she can't have a baby. You need to be honest, so she never has this horrible fear or worry. You can't help that you are infertal, but what you can help is your honesty.
2007-12-11 20:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you knew you were sterile and did not tell her that is so very wrong... I had a female friend do this to a man and she led him to believe they were trying to get pregnant for 7 years, finally after they went to the doctor she was forced to come clean. It ended the relationship. When she finally confessed that she knew all along... So unfair to do to another individual.. Honesty is always best... One should be honest and upfront from the beginning and allow the other person to make an informed decision. She probably would have decided to adopt a child if she truly loved you... God bless****
2007-12-11 20:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see this as a very big deal.
Your wife needed to know. You should have told her. I cannot imagine someone not telling their wife.
Your wife needed the option to decide if she still wanted to marry you or not.
I agree -- you did not give her the honest option of motherhood.
I would not have been able to handle this.
2007-12-11 20:36:10 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get married without telling her that you are sterile, it is a HUGE deal.. Most woman look forward to marriage and motherhood.. that's wrong! Really wrong!
2007-12-11 20:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by nikki f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is a big deal. But, there are other ways of concieving a child. It is actually quite easy to get donated sperm. Or you could foster or adopt. It is a big deal, but if I really loved the guy, it is not something I would leave him for.
2007-12-11 20:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a lifetime journey for common objectives. If both discussed your objectives for children, family, and other details, then this should have not been an issue. Divorce is simply a separation process, if she wants kids and you cannot give her that, then it is her right to move on. By simply marrying you, she did not give her right away.
If you lied, then you do not have any right to think so.
2007-12-11 20:14:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I was honest about it with my wife and when we were both ready for children, we took steps to get pregnant. My sterility was from using steriods in my late teens and early 20s... but I was honest and reaped the rewards.
I could only see it as being a problem if having children was THE ONLY reason you were together.
2007-12-11 20:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by Judo Chop 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a lie of omission.
but , i want to know how the subject never came up before you were married.
yeah .it was a rotten thing to do.
its one thing if you dont know and you find out together
but
women only have so many good child bearing years before
they have to do all of this extra **** to maintain a pregnancy.
so
yeah
it was a stealthy thing to do.
personal sperm doners vs.love
no. the general idea is that people get married and have families.
so no. you wouldnt marry a woman who wants to bear children and you KNOw you cant, without telling her.
its no wonder she didnt sue you for being a fraud.
she can possibly sue you if you lied to her.
marriage is not for love
its to have access to the other persons assets upon divorce
2007-12-11 19:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by get_christie_love 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Women have the right to say 'no' to having kids, even if he says yes.They also expect to have the right to say 'yes', when he says no.
You're taking away her control and that will annoy her. Plenty of women cheat guys into fatherhood. It's all give and take really.
2007-12-11 20:01:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋