I'm not sure I even want to be friends with the perpetrater anymore...but I've known him far longer and had been much closer w/him than the victim. Nonetheless, I am 100% positive she is telling the truth. Whenever she has come over to our house in the past few months (he's also a roommate), and he's drunk, he's been trying to grope and fondle her. Also, he was good friends (obviously not...) with her current boyfriend of two years. Culminating in an incident where she woke up and he was putting his hand down her pants...and then when she pushed his hand away he just ran off because she was awake. Then kept coming back every 30 minutes or so to see if she'd gone back to sleep. It's creepy, it's disgusting, and it's really f-ed up....I know he was traumatized in youth and probably molested--and that's no excuse, AT ALL. But I need outside input--do I talk to him about this? Confront him so he knows that I know? Tell him to move out? Can things ever be okay again?
2007-12-11 09:55:53 · 14 answers · asked by Jenn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Okay, I get what you guys are saying, but the victim is not about to confront him and she does not want to press charges. and I respect that she doesn't want to, it is totally her choice and no one elses. Also, he's not going to do something like that to me so it's not an issue and not relevant to the question, because he knows that I would kick his *** and call the cops. The victim in this situation is an extremely passive kind of girl, and he obviously targeted her because of that.
But I really feel like SOMEBODY needs to confront him and say-- hey this is f-ed up and you can't do this kind of stuff. Otherwise, why would he even think twice next time? I don't want to be close friends anymore, but I feel like if everyone permanently writes him off, that he will be a totally lost cause.
2007-12-11 13:34:59 · update #1
yeah definately speak to him about. Its a horrible situation to be in. Dont go mental at him but do firmly talk to him and make sure he knows how serious his actions are.
Id tell him to move out if I were you..
Goodluck with the situation - and good for you for looking out for your friend.
2007-12-11 10:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by Busybee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
things will not be ok either move out or tell him to move out, confront him with male friend preferably bigger them him. i would say call the cops but that's the responsibility of the victim. there is no way you should involve yourself anymore then telling him to get out by telling him why. dont do it yourself like stated before but dont leave him hangin by not saying anything or maybe he will do it again, but dont get crazy to him just exspress how u feel it would be better to get the other roommates on urside as well.sense he has a key to ur place who know if hes a sicko and made copys. he may come for u next so when u tell him take the key as well you do not need that bc who knows whats next. think about urself!
2007-12-11 10:07:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Acoustic,
You answered one of your concerns in the first sentence. Knowing what you know, I wouldn't choose to be friends with a creep like that. Stick around long enough and his rep is bound to rub off on you as well.
It's one thing if you believed he was incapable of doing such a thing, then I can see getting his side of the story. But from what you describe and your talks with your female friend ask yourself if anything positive would come from such a confrontation. It seems like a foregone conclusion.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
2007-12-11 10:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by Alan K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to get the aid and support of other mature people, and as a group have him taken to a psychiatrist for mental evaluation and therapy. Alternatively, you might also want to discuss with your group the option of having him reported. Remember, if you do nothing the problem will still persist, and you don't want to wait around for the worst possible scenario to happen.
2016-05-23 02:59:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to confront him. Its part of the healing process, and if he was assaulting her while she was alseep then she needs to get up in his face when she's awake and he's sober. It may not be a life changing thing for him, but for her? It will help her move forward. Offer to be her moral support sense her craphead boyfriend obviously isn't. Then when she's done berating the bastard tell him to move the **** out!
2007-12-11 10:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. Dont let him back in your house
2. send him to therapy
3. comfort the victim
4. If hes an *** and doesn't realize the seriousness of the situation, smack that fool.
5. If it was the alchohol and he is truly sorry, tell him hes only allowed back in your house when hes been sober for a month.
2007-12-11 10:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Q-Tip M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he has got to go , you may not want to be around someone who will rape , sexually assault someone. It will be a ashamed if you are implicated in one of his crimes.
confront him, his family , but first get him out , if you do talk to him tell him It's wrong and he needs help .
oh and you got to move out of here!!!
renumber the prisons are full of people who were just Friends of the criminal.
2007-12-11 10:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by gina green 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if your in anway uncomfortable around him i would ask him to move out. I would look into getting some help for him, if you find something talk to him about it and see if you can get him to get help.
2007-12-11 10:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need to confront him. The district attorney does. Please contact the police department and let them know about this.
2007-12-11 10:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by Stuart 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you tell me where he is and ill beat his a s s and report him, you need to get him as far away from you as possible, cause if he will do it to her he will probly do it to you
2007-12-11 10:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by yup.... 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋