This Thursday would've been my mum's 61st birtday, but she died 11 years ago. Can you cheer me up?

Answer 1

I'm not sure that I can cheer you up mate but I've been there. My mum died in 1993 and this last August she would have been 63. Every birthday is the same, but I just keep thinking that she wouldn't want me to be sad and to spend the day crying. Someone once said to me that you never get over losing a parent but you learn to cope. That helped greatly. Also, just remember that she's always there with you. I don't know if you believe in all that spiritual stuff but quite often I'll 'smell' a smell that I haven't experienced since my mum died for example her chicken curry. Or I'll 'taste' something she used to cook. On either occasion, I feel so comforted that all grief vanishes to be replaced with a lovely warm nostalgic feeling. Basically, nothing can take away the pain of losing your mum and nothing ever will. But, memories are a great comfort and I've used them to help me through loads of times. Hope you get through this bud, all the best.

Answer 2

I hope so! If you're a spiritual person, the bible teaches that after death you are basically asleep until the end of Armageddon. Then the resurrection of the righteous and the unrighteous is to occur. Jesus compared this when he told his followers that Lazarus was sleeping. They feel no pain or have memory of it.Ecclesastes 9:5 But Revelation tells us of a time when all will be good. Rev.21:3,4 No mourning or sorrow or pain. I lost my brother just a year ago and the hope that he will be resurrected to life on Earth again is one of the promises from the bible I look forward to. (Psalm 37:29) Jesus quotes this scripture in his famous sermon on the mount. I want to see him again when his illness hasn't taken it's toll on him and he's the happy awesome buddy that he was. It's natural to feel pain from this, because dying isn't natural. The bible says that God put "time indefinite" in our hearts. I have a nice brochure called "When someone you love dies." If you'd like a copy and you feel ok about giving out an address, I'd be glad to mail it to you! I can be reached at [e-mail] I could even send it to your work or a local UPS store if that makes you more comfortable. Sincerely Clyde

Answer 3

You've had some very moving and funny responses, which I hope have helped. My mum died a few years ago of cancer at 64, and her birthday was the day before mine. I think about her every day, and sometimes I think I see her, or i wake up some mornings and think 'I haven't rung my mum to find out how she is today' and then i remember that she is no longer alive. But she was so ill, I nursed her every day for four years and I was with her, holding her hand, when she died. Really, she is well out of it. She died loving me, I know that. Virginia Woolf wrote somewhere in her diaries that 'you really only grow up when your mother dies'. So I just remember her sharp and witty tongue, her enormous love for my own children, and the incredible way she could knit with eight needles, watch TV, and hold a conversation in two languages, all at the same time.
Best wishes mate. Thinking of you.

Answer 4

Well, I am not a religious person, but I do think it is possible that only a part of us, bound by three-dimensional space and time, actually dies. Then the remaining part, our energy, essence, spirit, soul -- whatever you want to call it -- is free of those bounds, and can travel anywhere, or anyWHEN, it desires.

She's probably spending time watching over you, or sightseeing in the farthest reaches of the universe.... maybe even going back to revisit your early days.... imagine that! Imagine the exhiliarating freedom that would be... and to once again be with long lost loved ones.

And know that someday - though hopefully a long time from now -- you will see her again.

Answer 5

So sorry for you mate, but at least you had her longer than I had mine... Mine passed away in November1979, that is, 28 yrs ago, when she was only 36 and I was about to turn 17. I wish she could have been around to meet my kids as she was the sweetest person, but God knows best. She didn´t have to stay here suffering all this time. In another 2 days it will be 11yrs we lost one of our brothers, who wasn´t sick at the time but was called away from us at the age of 32.
OK, maybe I´m not helping you...I´m just trying to say that our time comes and the later it does, it is profit. Also if she had a belief, she is much better off than us, be sure of it.
Just celebrate her as if she was here, what matters is that she is still so alive in your heart! Bless you dear!

Answer 6

I asked an acquaintance once how you go on after losing the most important person in your life and he said he took comfort in knowing that she died loving him and that will never change. If I could send you a piece of the feeling you get when your mother hugs you and for 30 seconds and she is protecting you from the whole world, time stops and you are one...well, I would do it.

I'll light a candle for your mom on Thurs night and dispatch a pseudo-embrace with your name on it via transponder that will result in your ventral tegmental area plying your caudate nucleus with serious dopamine.

I guess even doctor's have feelings eh? Doesn't that compromise parts of the Hippocratic oath?...he he Because she brought a doctor into this world - does that mean she gets first dibs on the front row of any Elvis concert in Heaven?

I would also like to apologize to you on behalf of several of our Yahoo counterparts and their comments. Obviously, living below the 49th parallel makes their balls grow faster than their brains.

Answer 7

When someone you love dies, there will always be a sence of loss but most people learn how to deal with it in time. 11 yrs is a long time to focus on your grief. Yes birthdays and holidays without your parent are sad but after all this time you should have been able to get past the worst of it. It is time to put it to rest and focus on your own life. You will always love and miss her and she will always be in a piece of your heart but there is alot of room there for all the other special people in your life. Make use of it before they are gone too. Focus on the living and on your life. Nothing will bring her back.

Answer 8

Awe I'm so sad for you, I really miss my mom too but I got told this a long time ago, Everyday an angel goes out into the garden in heaven and plucks the most beautiful flowers she can see, she only ever picks the best and that's why she picked your mom, okay its sad but I always see my mom as more beautiful than she was.

Answer 9

Dear Doctor, you lost your Mom so young, I am so sorry about that, but one thing I am sure of, she will never be gone, she lives on in you!.....You are a wonderful man, and I am sure she is looking down at you and she is so proud of you! You are all the best of her, I know you have all her good quality's, its so hard losing your Mom, I lost my Mom young too, so I know how you are hurting! Take peace in knowing you were good to your Mom, and did every thing possible to make her happy, and you made her life complete, and no one or nothing will ever change that, and no one or nothing will ever take your Mom's memories away, you can feel warm and comforted always with her love, a love that will never die! Love Judy♥

Answer 10

my dad died 16 years ago, therefore you have cried for 5 years less than me! So I trump you! Would your mum want you to be miserable, my mum loves it when I am down, pyscho mom, I bet yours was lovely. Think of her and smile, share the memories with your kids then go and do something daft in public, ie go down the up escalator on the underground.

Remember she is just behind you