What would be a good way to welcome a 13-y/o stepdaughter into your home after her mother kicked her out?

Answer 1

I went through the same thing (reversed) when I was that age. My father kicked me out and I went to live with my mother and stepfather.

First off, remember that your stepdaughter is probably going through alot of pain and anger. And that you could be seen as an "enemy".

The best thing my stepfather ever could've done for me was to be my friend. He'd talk to me like a real person, not just a kid. He never pretended to be or act like a replacement of any sort. He was there when I got myself into trouble, never scolding me, but always concerned and always with a positive attitude and always able to make me laugh.

He introduced me to amazing literature & music, computers. He stuck up for me when I'd have arguments with my mom. He would share stories from his life with me. He was just such a great influence on me.... and I DO call him my father now. He taught me to really enjoy life despite all the problems that may happen.

It's important for your step-daughter to have a feeling of privacy (her own room)... that is important, especially for that age. Really, get to know her, what she likes, her friends, and to let her know that you are there for her - no judgements. Also, that way you can help her find activities/ outlets for her anger or pain or whatever it is she is going through. Give her her space. Let her know that she really is welcome into your home.

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I have a whole other story of my step-MOTHER.... my sister still will not talk to my real father.

That is a whole other long story that if you would like to know, you can email me.

Answer 2

The fact that she has many good friends where she resides and that she is with her sister and brother will be hard to overcome. Obviously her mother loves her very much and is probably doing a lot for her so that she will be happy where she is. This does not mean she would not consider living with you. The thing that is very difficult to overcome is the mother-daughter bond that has developed. Usually a father and son get along great and a mother and a daighter the same. You should consider very carefully the reason you want her to live with you and make sure it is a just and valid reason and not a selfish one. I take it you have visitation rights and if so you can begin to intriduce her to the children in your area. If a party is what you think would be something she might like then I see no harm in it. After all, if your daughter wishes to make a decision at some point then both you and your ex should allow her to make her own decisions and you both should live with what she decides. It is her happiness that is at stake. Know what I mean?

Answer 3

show her that at least someone loves her but then find out why she was kicked out in the first place at the end of the day the poor kid needs somewhere to stay for the night, and not thrown onto the street where all the jackals are.

Answer 4

(1) by ignoring empty, feel-good advice and not compromising your authority as an adult

(2) by not bowing down like the weakling whose sucking up to a kid in hopes of seemingly solidifying Daddy's love

(3) by making sure she understands that just like her mom wouldn't let her do and say anything, you will not let her be disrespectful to you either - after all, she didn't get put out for no reason

(4) by letting her know you are not trying to be or replace her mom, neither are you there to be her friend

and, of uttmost importance,

(5) by showing her you are a supporter of her well-being and you are willing to guide her in any way you can so she may continue growing into the best person she can be

Answer 5

Give her a hug and tell her you will give her the space she needs, but if she needs any thing, or just someone to talk to, you are there. And get her a gift card for her favorite store as a welcoming gift.

Answer 6

Have her write what the problems in her life are, and listen. Spend a day or two together, and see what you can do to help! Read what she writes and talk to her. She is probably screaming for help.... Not to be intruding, but since I teach 8th graders all day, please talk to her about the "birds and the bees." 13 is a rough age for any child, and being that you are not her "biological" mother, you will probably have to earn her respect.

Answer 7

Of course lots of love, but something on the more material side would be re-doing her bedroom just the way she wants it. When I remarried my husband he took my daughter and they redid a bedroom in the new house together so she reallly felt like she was a part of the family.

Answer 8

Just be there for her...Maybe fix her up or let her fix up her own room...Make her feel a part of the house and not like a visitor..Don't really know the situation but comfort and security is probably what she needs and more importantly love :)

Answer 9

With a big hug and a warm bed for snoozing. An open and listening ear never hurt anyone, and lots of love, she will need all she can get.

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

first find out what she likes and try to get something to break the ice then give her space but let her know if she needs some one to talk to you will be there for anything, also you can reassure her not not trying to take her mother's place your just trying to be there for her in any way