I can't go to any of the 6 bars in this small town without getting glares from people, the bartenders are especially hateful to me. He cheated throughout our marriage and he's very abusive. He's very sweet in public and plays the victim very well. He's told people that I was an abusive alcoholic, which is total crap. He's the one that knocked me around. He's accused me of being a crackhead, which I've NEVER done. He's the crackhead, picks his arms & seems to know the crackhead's quite well. He said that he would tell everyone that I tried to give his dad (74) bj's. OMG! People believe him. I don't know them, but they sure seem to know who I am. This guy blabs like you've never seen, he's a very gifted liar. His version of stories actually sound better than the truth, it's freaky. I've been private about all that happened and rarely go out, but when I do it's like I'm going to get beat up. I can't move rt. now so how do I clear up this mess?
2007-12-11 08:52:20 · 14 answers · asked by Horserider75 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's NOTHING to do in this town and I shouldn't have to be a shut in, give up singing, never dance again, and let these idiots believe his lies. I can't afford to move right now. I've been bullied by him long enough and I'm angry!! I'm sick of him getting away with everything. His brother's a cop, so they're no help. I'm surprised I finally got the restraining order cause he wouldn't quit stalking me. Then he got one cause I did, and they gave it to him with totally false statements. If I run, it feels like he wins again and I have the right to defend myself and the truth. I just need some suggestions on how to shut him up and let people know what he really is. I'm ready for a fight!
2007-12-11 09:27:30 · update #1
You married a person with a Borderline personality disorder. Typically, these people are VERY charismatic and professional liars, they have poor judgment and externalize guilt, meaning nothing is their fault but others'. You have to ignore him and his game. The more you feed the cat the more food is going to want. Go out in company of your close friends, and visit a different type of bar. Perhaps, more upscale bars. None will give you a bad look in a expensive place. If these places are too expensive just drink less. Change your environment. Hang out with artsy people, do different stuff. Don't sweat it, b/c he is gonna die a liar and you can't change that.
Good Luck
2007-12-11 09:44:24 · answer #1 · answered by ✿Houston_Girl✿ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't..the mess wil clear up all by itself.
Your ex will trip himself up...I guarentee it All liars do for they loose track, forget, become even more convoluted in their stories.....or he'll start telling whoppers about other people & they'll have his no# right quick then,if they let him live.
So for the short term don't go to the bars....he's doing it in places where he knows you frequent so it gets back to you....it looses effectiveness if you're not there for the stares. Go about your business and ignore it...your lack of a re-action will puzzle people.....eventually they'll figure it's crap which is why you're not re-acting. Or better yet if someone says something to you just roll your eyes, laugh & say "So, he's suckered you in with one of his tall tales, has he? Can't believe you're that naieve." Then refuse to continue to discuss it.If you remain calm, even amused people aren't gonna know what to make of it , for they expect you to become indignant, protest, get angry,and they will start to question his lies.....it'll take time. Besides, you conduct yourself like a class act & that'll proove it's all lies 'cause it won't make sense.....and if something doesn't make sense it's because it aint true. Good Luck.
2007-12-11 09:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aren't you tired of that small town anyway? Only 6 hole in the wall bars, seeing the same old faces every weekend? Yeah, time to move!
2007-12-11 09:24:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find something else to do besides going to bars. How about going to a gym...maybe a library. Take college courses. YOU are the one who continues to go to the bars therefore YOU are the one choosing the reactions you're going to get for doing so. How about trying to grow up?
2007-12-11 14:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people who do know you and love you know the truth the others it doesnt matter most importantly you know you.If people want to know he truth when you are out they will ask and if they dont they either dont care or it doesnt matter.As far as loudmouth those who know him& know he is a blowhard even if they dont tell him.So just smile be pretty,and kind to others the truth will come out eventually.Good Luck
2007-12-11 09:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by wanna know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of bars if yo'ure not an alkie and MOVE! Move fast. Let this dumb town have him.
2007-12-11 09:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sassie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay out of the bars
& start being a freak
it aint that bad
2007-12-11 09:02:34 · answer #7 · answered by meallmeallthetime 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is really such a lier the the whole town knows that to and you should not worry. tell your own stories about him and him extra small you know .... lol
2007-12-11 09:10:47 · answer #8 · answered by Timbo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop going into bars.
2007-12-11 08:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell everyone you know that the sex was never any good because he had a really small penis.
2007-12-11 12:42:13 · answer #10 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋