Have you ever forgave your fiance or husband for cheating on you?

Question

if so, why or why not?

Do you believe that person can change or once a cheater always a cheater?

Is a woman stupid for taking the man back?

Answer 1

look nobody has the right on telling you stupid because they should be on your shoes to know what you feel, and if you are going to take him back don't make a big deal out of it what i mean is that don't let everybody know and then there you go taking him back, and maybe if he really loves you maybe he will not do it again, and no thanks god my husband has not done that to me, not that i know?

Answer 2

Yes, but be advised that it takes nothing short of time and lots of communication on both ends. Contrary to popular belief, when someone cheats, often times they feel just as bad as the person they cheated on for deceiving them and causing them pain. I could not forgive someone who carried on a long term affair or repeatedly cheated, but sometimes, unfortunately, people make mistakes. I do NOT believe in the saying "once a cheater always a cheater", b/c I have seen relationships that go on another 30 years or more AFTER an infidelity. I know the pain of a cheater all too well, but if you are married - please think about the fact that they made a mistake, and try to work through it before throwing in the towel. And also give yourself time to heal, and be open and honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings. You can always forgive, but the hardest part is forgetting - which is why time and communication are so key. Sometimes some people just can't move past it. And you really can't blame them. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

There is no absolute right or wrong answer. Just what you personally can handle, and whether or not you feel the cheater is truly sorry, and willing to demonstrate that he will not do it again. Some people give the offender one more chance and things do work out. Others find the offender to be a 'repeat offender'. I personally, would probably throw in the towel - I would have a hard time forgiving and trusting again. Some people say it shows more strength to forgive, than to cut-and-run. Whatever you decide, ONCE is the only chance I would ever dream about giving him.

Answer 4

My wife forgave me after I cheated on her. That was 10 years ago, and I haven't cheated on her again, so I am living proof that the "once a cheater, always a cheater" is not necessarily true. However, I was truly, deeply regretful and repentant. My wife had a thousand painful questions for me, and because I wanted her to be able to trust my word, I honestly answered them all. I also got into some therapy, which helped. I grew up a lot as a result of that traumatic period I put our marriage through.

Answer 5

Not my husband now, but about 5 years ago I was with this guy for 3 years and he cheated on me. He swore it would never happen again. I decided to give him another chance, big mistake. I thought about it constantly. When he didn't answer his phone or if he was late coming home from work, the first thought was always, he's cheating on me again. I started worrying all the time. Every time he told me something I wondered if he was telling the truth. I was miserable!!! I couldn't do it anymore. I realized that if you don't have trust you don't have anything. I also learned that I could say I forgave him, but I could never truly forget. I left him. Come to find out, he cheated on me several times after the first one. I think that if you let them get away with it once, they will do it again. I made a promise to myself that I would never let a man do that to me again. I deserve better than that!

Answer 6

Yes, because he was honestly sorry and we chose to make our relationship work.

It took two years of hell to rebuild the trust between us. Two years of him answering my questions about where he was, who he was with, when he was going to be home. And he answered them because he knew that he was the one who screwed up, and he was willing to do what it took to rebuild my trust in him.

It took two years of me learning to look forward instead of obsessing about the past. You can't change the past, and the wound can't heal if you keep picking at it. If you choose to move forward with the relationship, then that's what you have to do.

We also both learned how to TALK TO EACH OTHER about things that were bothering us, or questions or concerns that we had, so that little things didn't fester into big things that then grew into explosions.

It took eight years before I could think about it without a twinge. Now (13 years later) thinking about it doesn't hurt any more than thinking about my first crush in high school and the subsequent heartbreak. It's in the past.

And yes, I trust my husband completely. There is no second guessing, there is no spying on his email, there is no "well what if he's talking to that girl". We have both made the decision that our relationship is what we want. The neat thing is, because of that, I can talk to my ex-boyfriend and be friends with him without the jealous insanity that otherwise might accompany it.

Ironically, our relationship is stronger and healthier now because of what happened before.

We also know that if for some reason there is infidelity in the future, then that's it. There are no "second chances" because this IS our "second chance".

Answer 7

I forgave her at 9 years. She forgave me at 14 years. It's been clear sailing (we're at 27) ever since.

There are two kinds of cheaters: Those prowling for it, and those that happen into it. Still BOTH cheaters.

Me for example. 13 years of super solid policy, I will not cheat. I had a weak moment, cheated. Confessed, repented, counseling, etc. My wife forgave me. Clear sailing since.

My brother, actively looks for women to have sex with. Has a black book with only women he has boinked or wants to. Has one on the side he sleeps with regularly. Basically, he meets a woman, he wants to f**k her. He's been married 20 years to my wonderful sister-in-law. She is clueless, or at least acts clueless. IF/when he ever gets caught....I don't think he could be reformed. I suspect he would always be a cheater, just more careful.

Answer 8

Yes, as you all probably know by now. It is hard to say the reason why except I couldn't leave when I tried to do so. He's been wonderful in every way before and since it happened, so I think some will continue to cheat and others will never do so again. It depends on the man and if you both can forgive; he himself and you -him.

Answer 9

Take things slowly, clearly he understands that you're not going to be able to trust him for a while. Talk to him and tell him you're not going to stand for any foolish or misleading behaviour. Tell him i has to change and tell him the changes you need, maybe go on a weekend away somewhere, just the two of you (if you have to then take your baby too) Trust is earned, not given out like fresh air, just carry on like normal, one day you'll realise you do trust him fully again, honest!

Answer 10

In my case I did a lot of forgaveness before cause i makes some mistakes of my own but you have to draw the line and say whoever makes a mistake again there will be no relationship to fallback again,cause yes once you cheat chaces are you will fall into doing it again,

Answer 11

Depends, depends, depends. If it was me there's a big chance I would never let him back into the house again. If I'm not enough for his liking he can go and find another woman. But if he was going through a lot of troubles lately and he wa sort of derpressed I might give him another chance, if he were really, really sorry.