Ok so i'm stuck in the middle between 2 guys, well one is my husband and we have been married for well going on 4 years but its not even like we are married. We aren't ever together(we always spilting up) There hasn't been one year where we have been together for the whole year. We have a child together also. Well then i have my kids by this other guy. And we have been off and on also. There hasn't been a single year where we was together the whole year. They both say they love me, my husbands has a bad anger problem and takes things out on me for no reason at all. We fight all the time.The other guy I don't know How do i know who is the right one for me. I do have feelings for them both, maybe my husband a little more then the other but the other guy treats me with respect and we don't fight. Well what do i do? Did i marry the wrong man? Help out or just some suggests please.
2007-12-11 07:44:45 · 16 answers · asked by mslilmama03 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The one thats right for you, is the one you can close your eyes and picture being with 30 years from now...i know i chose right, hope you do too! xoxo
2007-12-11 07:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you don't have to ask this question, then you know you found the right man.
BUT- of course the other guy treats you with respect! So long as you are married he does not have to show you all his baggage! I suggest you drop the second guy right away. Obviously you have marriage problems, and I'd bet my life savings the other guy is just a "grass is greener" character. Lose your marriage and hook up with him, and there is a highly likely chance that you will find yourself in the exact same situation, plus children who are isolated and confused due to the divorce. If you are married, having anything to do with another man is going to be a big mistake that will come back and bite you. I can almost guarantee that.
That does not mean you should put up with a husband that does not treat you right. Get thee into marriage counseling! See if there is anything that can be done to salvage this relationship. Don't throw it away until you know it will not work out. This is the mature thing to do, and it is the right thing to do if you have children. Make an appointment today, and if he will not go, then go yourself. Then, when you know the answer to your question regarding your husband, and it turns out to be in the negative, then divorce him. THEN you will be ready to think about other men. Until you sign that paper ending your marriage, though, you are not ready for a new relationship.
That's my suggestion.
2007-12-11 15:52:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are the problem. Can't seem to figure out what you want and have 2 men you are stringing along as long as you are not alone. Drop them both and don't date or see anyone for 1 year. During that year think about what you really want in a man and try to find someone like that. Don't just take the guy who is nice, or the guy with the bad boy image. Try to find out what kind of person they are how do they treat animals. Do they treat the elderly with kindness.
2007-12-11 15:52:25 · answer #3 · answered by chrome_rider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be with your husband if it is just superficial. Your husband should be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, and it doesn't sound like he is the right one. You should not be abused, verbally or physically. Your children don't need to grow up around that kind of environment. I advise that you consider taking your children, and not being with either of the men for a while. Get out of the drama. And when you are settled, and emotions are balanced, then see which one you miss more. Spend more time with them. Talk to them. And go slow. Getting married is a huge deal. And it means more than just living together. Good luck.
2007-12-11 15:52:08 · answer #4 · answered by smileshurtsweetly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the right guy for me because he makes me feel loved. I want to be a better person for myself and he makes me feel like I could do anything and it will be ok. He supports me, is always there for me, and I am 80 % percent of the time smiling around him. Life is too short to be with someone that makes you unhappy all of the time. There are normal ups and downs in every relationship but they dont matter because no matter what you know you are loved and it will be okay. It doesnt sound like you have that with either guy. My suggestion is to take some time away from both of them and figure out what you want out of life, see if they both fit in anywhere and work it out from there. You cant expect someone to be able to give you what you need if you dont know what you need in the first place. Good luck with everything. Take some time for yourself and youll figure it out!
2007-12-11 15:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by Susan F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling, preferably with your husband. Stop seeing this other guy, unless you have to due to dropping off kids. You're only giving each relationship half of your attention, so there's no way to know where you belong- but your first obligation is to your husband. You made a formal committment to him, you owe it to him to see if you can work it out. If you can't, I would advise that you spend at least a year on your own, and get yourself settled.
2007-12-11 15:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I would go with the one that treats you better. I mean your husband probably loves you but doesn't respect you and everyone needs to have respect. Have you tried to talk to your husband about this? Maybe go to talk to someone and see if they can help you.
2007-12-11 15:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by sweetie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your husband takes his anger out on you i do not think that is the proper way to treat a women.. guys should treat their women with respect show them and tell them how much they mean to them i'm not going to tell you which one to choose but it just depends on how they both treat you romantically..stuff like that
2007-12-11 15:49:58 · answer #8 · answered by oakens123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly hon...If you have not been together for longer than a few months with either of them over the past few years, they are just "bees there for the honey". Move on from both of them and stop being the booty call.
2007-12-11 15:48:54 · answer #9 · answered by enam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right one is the one you're married to. You have to let the other one go COMPLETELY before your marriage can be healed. If you are committed to each other, no matter what, you can work through ANYTHING.
Divorce is never the answer.
2007-12-11 15:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to follow your heart. Which one makes you the happiest. You might want to try some counseling for you and your husband. Good luck.â¥â¥
2007-12-11 15:50:40 · answer #11 · answered by ♥LS♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋