My now husband, I found a sex tape of him and his ex and he totally forgot about it and I confronted him and I feel cheated on. I still bothers me and what can I do?
2007-12-11 07:34:43 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let it go. Like people have said it's in the past. How did you find the tape anyway?? If you found it snooping then you were wrong. I think the problem is it's effecting your self esteem, he made a tape with her and not you.
Let it go, what's done is done. I do doubt his story about totally forgetting about it though. The guys that I know would never forget something like that. So you have to decide what you can live with and what you can't. If let this tape dictate your relationship I'm sure you won't have a relationship after awhile.
Good Luck
lb
2007-12-11 07:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why any man would take the chance of having his new wife find something like that is beyond me. That's gotta make you wonder.
No, this isn't cheating if it happened before you two got together.
But I would have some questions about why the tape didn't get disposed of. Personally I wouldn't want to have sex in front of a camera. Just not into that so I don't understand it. But if I were dumb enough to do that, I sure wouldn't leave the tape where you could find it. I wouldn't even have it in the house. I would have destroyed the tape.
He totally forgot about it? I'm not so sure about that...
Talk to him about it. Talk to him about why he would be so tacky as to keep something like that around for you to find. What else is lurking that you might find?
This is a weird situation. I don't blame you for feeling a bit confused about it.
Good luck.
2007-12-11 07:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is not cheating because is the X.... maybe is bad that he kept the tape, but whatever happened before your time is BEFORE your time and it shouldnt bother you... we all have a past and even you may have done something that you may not be so proud of, only difference is not in a video tape.
2007-12-11 07:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, have you ever had sex with a man other than him? If you have, why would you be bothered by the fact that he has had sex with someone other than you, when in fact you have had sex with someone other than him?
Now, if you were a virgin when you met him, your feelings are completely understandable. But considering that you married him, there's absolutely nothing you can do now. You should have found out this information before deciding to be with him: That was your mistake.
2007-12-11 07:42:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I made a tape when we first started dating. After we got married I went looking for the tape, so I could watch it. I found it (or so I thought) put in in and it wasn't me and him. It was him and his ex! Talk about being sick to my stomach. I threw it away!! My husband felt so bad. He just hadn't thrown it away yet. Yes, it bothered me, but it is the past. I know I have a past as well so I just got over it.
2007-12-11 08:06:50 · answer #5 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can learn the facts of life right now, this moment or you can go through life learning the hard way:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage ruins relationships(moving in is the same)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth ask me anything!!!
2007-12-11 13:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since it was made when he was married to his ex, technically it's not cheating, but I think it is disturbing that he still has the tape.
Get rid of the tape.
2007-12-11 10:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is horrible. Its actually not cheating but obviously he isnt over it cus he didnt throw them away. Ask him about his past and all other things he feels he left out that he needs to tell you since he is your husband now. NO SECRETS! Also, he needs to come back to his past and throw out all those nasty tapes, gifts and memories because it shouldnt matter now and he decided to start a life with you and it should start out right, not with his past getting in the way.
2007-12-11 07:38:55 · answer #8 · answered by sexyexotik 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't feel cheated on. I know you are uncomfortable with the whole situation, who wouldn't be. You will be feeling this way for some time but you trust in your husband and he forgot about it, which means he is not thinking of her or his past. His thoughts are with you and him. Don't worry about it. Make him toss it and go on with you all life.
2007-12-11 07:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Chuck 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if it was resent then yes he did cheat on you but if it was a long time ago then why worry he is not cheating on you and you were not with him when it happened he just forgot about it and he left it there. Ask him to record over it a make one with you how about that.
2007-12-11 07:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋