You gnawed
Along those gripping vines
Strangling your blooming flower
They – merciless
Ripped the veins of promised leaves
Whilst swallowing your bones
Crushing
And you struggled so hard
To be free
The elder-vine that stole your flower
Stole your blossoming bud
Ugly duckling
You realised it’s not rocket science
To eat the soaking fruit of cherub-babes
Shining futures could be ripped apart
As easily as your flower
I did this really quickly, and I'd just like your opinions, see whether or not you like the general sentiment etc. Thanks very much.
2007-12-11 07:31:36 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I like the imagery. Poetry is subjective to the each one reading it. I enjoyed the poem very much.
2007-12-11 07:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by efaye22 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Out of a 1-10 I give it an 11 its reall good
2007-12-11 07:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most thought provoking. Are you describing a lover and virginity, a struggle to break away from parental control, how strange and difficult life can be, try sending to poetry magazines(Check your l;ibrary for some) It was really quite good.
2007-12-11 07:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love the sentiment. I think that this is a very good poem
2007-12-11 07:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the poem keep up the good work
2007-12-11 07:36:40 · answer #5 · answered by slimgoodie166 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't read it, but the point of any prose or non-prose or art work is that the writer/artist (i.e., YOU) likes it, and to heck with what anyone else says about it!
2007-12-11 07:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by skaizun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like it but i think the bit on the end where it starts ugly duckling has ruined it a little if you take that off then it would be better
2007-12-11 07:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by iminlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I AGREE WITH [JESSICA G.]... FROM THE UGLY DUCKLING PART IT JUST GOES LIKE
[DUHHH... TWIRL MY HAIR WHILE STARING INTO SPACE... THATS HOT!! PARIS HILTON KINDA THING]
..::OF COURSE NOT MEANING NE DISRESPECT TO U::..
ALSO TRY NOT TO USE FLOWER, BLOSSOM,BLOOMING, BUD..... BASICALLY THE REFERENCE TO FLOWERS TOO MUCH... ITS TOO REPETITIVE FOR POETRY IN THIS FORM... [[IN MY OPINION]]
BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT HAS SERIOUS POTENTIAL... GOOD JOB
2007-12-11 07:58:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats pretty good compared to most of the poems on Y! answers!
2007-12-11 07:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it okay.
It gave me an interesting chilling feeling.
So, I guess that's good?
2007-12-11 14:34:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋