She's severly mentally unstable... she suffers from anxiety, depression, and slight schizophrenia. She's lost her job due to her issues.
I knew that she was like this when I married her, and I never, not for one second, have regretted my choice. She is the love of my life. We haven't had sex in over 2 years, and I still fall in love with her all over again, everyday.
I'm up with her at 3am when she's convinced demons are out to get her, I'm cleaning up her throw-up when I get home from work around midnight when she's tried to drink away her problems. I've always been faithful and supportive.
She refuses counseling and medication and I respect her wishes.
But she wants a divorce. She even managed to get a lawyer. She's insistent that she's ruining my life and she's NOT. How can I change her mind? I need her.
2007-12-11 07:28:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she is truly mentally unstable you can go to court and have a judge commit her. Then she can get the help she needs.
2007-12-11 07:33:46 · answer #1 · answered by Robert B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When a girl says she's not interested, she's telling for real.
Just move on, and stay calm... just refuse divorce to her in the court ... or to her counsel / lawyer. The reality is you have every right to deny divorce. A few things you might want to do from time to time ... will be to ...
Reassure her you're there for her, and talk with her casually. ASK her why she thinks she's ruining your life ... Unless you ASK her WHY, you'll not be able to convince her. Once you get her to spit the reason, then go on, and convince her, make her feel sane and do her some good this time, if she's still convinced that she's gotta leave. Let her leave ... but don't give up without a good fight (politely, in the right sense i mean)
cheers friend!
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Live life to the most, because you never know what awaits you tomorrow, We're living to die another day !
2007-12-11 07:47:09 · answer #2 · answered by alberque2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Robert B... she needs the help. And I know you want to respect her wishes, but people who are that far gone may not know what they really want or what is best for them. You love her and take care of her, and I don't know if this sounds mean, but she owes it to you to get some help before she throws it all away. If it doesn't work out, I'm very sorry and I hope you can find someone who can appreciate the caring person you are.
2007-12-11 07:41:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, my heart goes out yo you. This is something you don't need to go through by yourself. Find you a pastor to talk to and let him advise you. Make sure he is a Spirit-filled ,
Second you must pray and fast and ask Jesus to give you His loving grace. This will give you courage to stay with your sweet wife.
God bless and keep
Little Brother
2007-12-11 08:18:27 · answer #4 · answered by Little Brother 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, hmmmmm well I'd just let her know if u wanted a divorce and if u didn't love her u wouldn't be doing all that u are. Tell her u chose for better or worse and u are not going to break the vows u spoke to her. U just have to try everything in ur power to get her to listen. I wish u luck ur a good man!
2007-12-11 07:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Professor D, you say you love your wife but you allow her to refuse help and medication. She is in no frame of mind to make that decision. If you love her, GET HER HELP. I had a relative who was bipolar. She's no longer with us. It was my mom's twin sister. She didn't want to get help either but my mother forced her. She was doing alot better before she died.
Again, if you love her, get her help. Rather she wants it or not. Be a man and do what's right for your wife.
2007-12-11 07:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by powrbruh 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know you say you respect her wishes with regards to medication and counselling, but why not with the divorce? If she is not committed or deemed incompetent then she is entitled to make her own decisions.
This sounds like a bit of a codependent relationship, I think you both need help. Since you can't force her to get treatment, perhaps you should focus on yourself, getting yourself healthy.
2007-12-11 07:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by Morley 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cannot change her mind. You cannot change anyone's mind about anything. Respect her wishes yet again, and give her what she wants. But I don't think she'll last long without you. I commend your views on marriage and what is for better or for worse but maybe you should stop being the martyr and give her a taste of what is really out there in the big, scary world.
2007-12-11 07:33:19 · answer #8 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You respect her wishes for not getting help??? She needs it, and without you looking after her and not on meds.. who will? Since you are the healthy one in this relationship, make her understand that she needs the help and once she gets it, she will no longer feel as she does that she is ruining your life. It all goes hand in hand with her depression. Get her the help she needs instead of doing nothing to help her. If you love her as you say, get her the help she needs. She can't make this decision on her own as you said yourself, she is not STABLE. You need to get her help. Stop standing by and just watching her go further down.
2007-12-11 07:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think I would sit down with her on a "good day" and say to her that you want to save your marriage and that you love her deeply.....however if she doesn't get professional help and meds, you may get nowhere with her. Pray......God works miracles.....He gave you to her for a reason ....you sound like a wonderful husband.............God Bless.
2007-12-11 07:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to both of you - you for continuing to love the person in spite of the disease, and her for loving you enough to not making you want to suffer because of it.
There are times when we have to do something that our partners wouldn't like, because it is best for them. I think that this is one of those times. You say you respect her wishes as to not receiving medication to help with her condition, but I think that she would be happier if she had her condition under control. She would feel less of a burden on you, and you could see the woman that she is past her illness.
She needs more than a friend now, she needs you to be her protector, her hero too. Please help her.
2007-12-11 07:43:09 · answer #11 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋