how can i feel desirable again?

Question

i am in a bad relationship and don't want to leave because i am afraid i will never find anyone again. i have been married for 8 months. he tells me noone will want me.
yes i know confidence is sexy but how do i know that i am still desirable on the market?

Answer 1

How sad. How abusive. Stop listening to him.

8 months is a very short time. It will be easy to get out and be single again. It's not like you've been married 30 years or anything.

You will be desireable. Trust me. You can be overweight, you can be only average or even a bit below average looking and you'll be desireable. If you're hugely overweight then you should get yourself in shape but that is a temporary problem. That can go away. If you're fit and trim, you'll look great no matter what. A below average woman who is fit and trim looks great and would appeal to most guys. Don't worry yourself about that.

You need to get into counseling though. You got into an abusive relationship with somebody who is telling you that nobody would want you. Something is very wrong there. He's a piece of work but somehow you married him. You need to find out why. You need some help in healing from this and whatever it was that made you pick him. Once you do that, the rest will fall into place.

You'll be fine. Just be kind to yourself. He's not going to be kind to you and somebody has to. So it's up to you.

I hear you and I can feel how insecure you must feel and how scared you must feel. But you can do this. Get some help, it will make it a lot easier.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You are your just being brainwashed by him. He's mentally abusing you and convincing you to hate yourself. You must leave this relationship to find your real self and you must leave it because there is no good future with him. At frist you must stay single and prepare yourself to date. Right now your a wreck. Your emotionaly drained and the little spark of confidence you have should be used to push yourself out of this relationship. Have a little more respect for yourself. This man oviously has non for you or prob any women. It will be hard to leave this relationship because he'll say hurtfull things to convince you to stay because he doens't want to be alone. You must leave in a very secretive way. Write a note saying you are staying somwhere else for now and your on the verge of leaving the relationship. Don't tell him where your going just call him once or twice a week to check up with him that your still alive. Don't give away your location. Build yourself up by getting a new job, buying new outfits & going out more with friends. When you have enough money saved begin a new appearance as well. Maybe a diet and a bit of a hair cut will do. Try eating more healthy adding fuits & veggies to your diet as well as some other organic meals. Try and stay under 800 calories a day. Do some exercies at nightime about 5 times a week for about half an hour each time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phmum3qET_M
Try going blonde or swithcing up your blonde shade if you already are. Hazel brown colours are also beautiful.
Sign up for a dance, swim or some sort of fitness club
Get your confidence up then go out hunting for guys with your friends at local clubs, bars, malls etc

Answer 3

the only way to find out if you are still desirable is if you end this abusive relationship then go out there and meet new people.
he wants you to think that if you two break up then you wont find anyone. he thinks that if you feel that way, then you will stay with him.
look hun you will find somebody, for sure. somebody who loves, respects, and cares for you. somebody who will love you for who you are, and who will be drawn to you in every way. somebody who thinks you are very desirable. you will be their world.
try joining a club or something that will help you raise your confidence. or helping others might help you as well, so maybe volunteer at a homeless shelter. take a day at a spa. just do anything to raise your confidence and beleive me, it will work =]

some cool things that raise your self esteem to try are
theatre
music
painting
sculpting
dance class
sports
church fund raiser
school fund raisers
be involved in your niece's/nephew's/young cousin ect PTA
apply for a higher position at your job
go on a healthy diet
exercise
make something [knit, sew, build a doghouse, ect;]
community service

those are several things that could boost your self-esteem.
take up one or more.
there are thousands of possibilites
and make sure you smile at people every day, give random compliments, leave pennies in the penny tray, and just dont give up hope!
you can get through this!

Answer 4

Ashley, read this over and over until it sinks in. He's destroying your self confidence because he wants you exactly where you are at. Feeling you can't live without him. I was in a relationship for 11 years. I wanted to leave her many many times but felt I couldn't be without her. Yes, men feel this way too. She ended up leaving me for another man. I was very devastated.

Ashley, I can't tell you how well my life is now. I am happier and I will meet that special person that God has put here on earth for me. If I had stayed with that woman, I would be miserable. Get away from him Ashley and stop giving him power over you. Only you are doing it. He can't take anything from you unless you give it to him. Take back that personal power girl.

Answer 5

You have more problems than worrying if you would be desirable on the market. When you get out of the relationship, and have stood tall, you will have a lot of confidence, and you will be a better person for it. Then worry about desirablity.

Answer 6

First you need the facts of life:

1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage ruins relationships(moving in is the same)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to hear the truth ask me anything!!! Now even if you find someone else does it really matter? What you should do is end it and find someone you really love and never get married.

Answer 7

U'll never know as long as u believe what that loser is telling u. Later for that clown, the only way to over come ur fear is to face it. He tells u that crap to keep u with him, lowering ur selfesteem..... leave his sorry a**, get out there and find someone who will treat u with the love and respect that u deserve. There's plenty of fish in the sea, but u have to have confidence in urself, put urself on the market and see what happens......... ur gonna be surprised at the results. Johnny Gill said : " Put On Ur Red Dress and That Sweet Perfume"
my,my, my...... sure looks good tonight!!!!!

Answer 8

Take a class or head to the gym. You will have extra energy, learn something new and start to feel better about yourself. Most importantly, you will start to meet new people. It's not that you have to be "on the market" again. However, meeting some new people might give you a new perspective on your life. Best of luck.

Answer 9

Well first of all you have to get away from the situation you are in now. As long as you stay and he says these bad things to you , you wont feel good about yourself. Then take some time to focus on yourself. I am pretty sure whe you get the strength to leave you will feel a little better.

Answer 10

First of all.......GET RID OF HIM....that will be a huge confidence booster for you! All hes doing is bringing you down so he can put you under his thumb and control you. If he can make you feel this way about yoruself then he doesnt have to worry about you stepping out on him or not doing as he wants you to when he wants you to. Its a control tactic....very common one too. You will be desireable to a man that truly cares for you no matter what. In the mean time get rid of the loser that wants to degrade you all the time. Hes bad for your self esteem