Help me please! We married on 24th August this year, by the 5th November we had had 5 arguments which resulted in my packing my bags and leaving the house each times. In hindsight leaving was an overreaction on my part but I would come back a few days later (stayed with my Mum). We have three children (one is ours together, two from her previous relationship). I do now (but did not then) understand how unsettling my leaving was to everyone. I desparately want the marriage to work however for the past five weeks (we are not living together) she has been telling me that she has to be strong for the children and will never let me back in the house. She tells me that her love for me has totally gone and that she now see's herself as a single woman. We were together for five years before getting married and used to have the same reaction to arguments. I love her dearly and want it to work so much. Should I continue to try and convince her it can work or should I walk away now? Please help!
2007-12-11 07:00:37 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to marriage counseling and keep saying you want to come home - if she lets you don't leave again.
2007-12-11 07:03:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jen70 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hey bud, sounds like we are on the same boat. Only you're the one who left and I was the one left behind with my little guy. My wife too, taken off just last night. Never packed a bag yet but found an apartment to live in. I'm talking of a 10 years relationship of ache and pain. Yours, only 10 weeks and now going the road I went through. Work it out now before it's too late. You have all the sounds advice ahead of me.
Thought I'm gonna check on the answers and pick up some advice for my own but I felt compelled to share mine to you.
Good luck, and God bless your marriage.
2007-12-11 07:23:53 · answer #2 · answered by egan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is only for the strong my dear. You can't just pack your bags and leave everytime you feel like having a hissy fit because you don't get your own way.... and running to your mommy's!? Yea, I understand why she would leave you. Her and the children need a man in their lives that they can trust to be there no matter what, who is strong enough and mature enough to make it work out. Running is for cowards, if you have done it that early into the marriage, Red Flag!! If you really want to make it work, try working on yourself and seek marriage councelling (if she will let you in, she feels the need to protect the children though, as you have shown you can't be trusted in that). Best of luck, grow up, and quit being so selfish... maybe you guys need to move to a city away from mom?
2007-12-11 07:15:56 · answer #3 · answered by Betty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can leave the house for days following an argument. i have stormed out and went for a drive to clear my head. my husband has done the same. but we have never, ever left each other for more than an hour following a fight. the first few months of marriage can be difficult contrary to what everyone thinks. you are adjusting to living with someone and to the fact that you are now committed and just walking away is NOT an option. you need to keep trying to convince her that the marriage is worth saving and you wont run away every time you have an argument. for goodness sakes...if i ran away everytime we had an arguement i would never be home. what kind of marriage is that???
2007-12-11 07:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man are you ever a case for marriage counseling. Eat some serious crow, tell her you realize how immature you have been and you want to go to marriage counseling. Go without her if you have to, and tell the counselor that you want to work on your conflict resolution skills.
You may or may not get her back, but at least you will be better equiped to handle arguments with any future SOs.
(seriously, packing your bags and going home to mother is sooo 1950s and FEM!)
2007-12-11 07:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Walk. I felt the same way about her after about 10 weeks, but it lasted for 19 not so good years before we divorced.
2007-12-11 07:15:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel this way you wont give up so easily. Keep your feelings open to her and let her see you mean it. No your walking out was not good at all and showed her that you are capable of abandoning her and the children. Not any womans dream guy for sure. part of your vows are for better or worse and that means stick around and see it through and talk it out not run away like a spoiled child. Shes protecting herself and her kids at this point. All I can say is if you love her....keep trying and MEAN IT
2007-12-11 07:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by jslorri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Over reaction will catch up with you. Do you know why you went to such extremes to packing your bags and not just going for a walk? I do not blame your wife for acting this way, she has to protect herself and the children from the continous heart ache you caused. You need to deal with the problem of why it is so easy to run away from your problems and give up everything before you can even think about trying to go back.
2007-12-11 07:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't for sissies! You'd better get a thicker skin and learn how to have stay in the house even when you argue. Counseling may help you two, but first you've got to get her to open the door. Good luck!
2007-12-11 07:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by Marina 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two have a very unhealthy relationship! If my hubby ever even attempted to pack his stuff... that is such a horrible threatening stupid and immature way of trying to manipulate your spouse... I don't blame her for not wanting to subject her kids to that kind of relationship!!! It might be better for you guys to stay apart until you grow up a little...maybe go to marriage counseling together...
2007-12-11 07:12:28 · answer #10 · answered by Me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋