My husband always harps on one thing... the kitchen sink! I do do the dishes, but if it isn't spotless he gets upset, and he always brings it up, even if someone leaves a dish in while I'm out. I'm afraid that if I make sure the sink is perfect all the time he'll simply complain about something else.
Is it a control thing?
Do your husbands do that?
Men, why would you complain constantly about one thing?
I keep saying, "Something's bothering you, and it's not about the dishes!!"
2007-12-11 06:59:58 · 28 answers · asked by emilsignia 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When we first got married he'd complain about the house in general. Then he stopped.
Now he's started up again. This happened after I did FlyLady, for any of you who know what that is. Their motto is "Shine the Sink". What used to be a simple housecleaning system for me is now what DH complains about... but only the sink part. The. One. Irratant. (for me).
Married 12 years.
2007-12-11 07:12:05 · update #1
Tell him if he doesn't think it's clean enough, he should wash it his damn self. That is so petty!
2007-12-11 07:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
No my husband does not do that. The only thing he does to clean is take a shower. I do everything. If he has that big of a problem with the kitchen sink, then tell him to either clean it himself or drop it. If he does not want to clean it every time that the sink is unsatisfactory to him, then he needs to suck it up and hush up. I am not sure what else it could be other than he must be OCD about a clean sink. Has he just recently started doing this. If you think that it is something else, then you need to add a little more detail to your message. When did this start?? Is this all he complains about?? Have you guys been having problems?? Add a few comments.
2007-12-11 07:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by rsrose13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of all the chores that need to be done on a daily basis then give him his half... make sure the dishes are on his list. lol
My husband tries to gripe at me over anything..just to gripe. I tell him to do it himself and he shuts up real quick... works every time. I do about ten times more work around the house then he does... so there is know room for him to gripe.
By the way one of the things that drives my husband crazy is dishes in the sink. Yet when ever he decides to cook something it looks like a tornado hit the kitchen ha ha
2007-12-11 07:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by commoncents 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, what he says, does NOT go.. U were right to kick him out and make him GO. That stupid ***. I don't know but I think u did the right thing, at least for now. He needs to understand you are a woman worthy of love and respect, and also the mother of his child, that will NEVER change. But he needs to re think his words and actions. Hopefully, he will, and things will improve. His controlling nature, shows me very clearly he is very insecure, and takes his insecurity out on you. You deserve a man who can love and be loved, and he should stop being so critical of you, I am sure he is NOT a perfect person. None of us are. You guys need to calm down, for the sake of the baby, and yourselves, and reach a point of agreement, to either make a real sincere try for this relationship, or end it with him paying child support, and the pain that comes with a break up. Tell him to grow up or shut up, and that you already have a child, you do not want him as your second one. Treat him with honestly, and calmness, never show hot emotion anymore, but be strong and firm with him. He needs a little tough love. Some men wake up, other do, when it is too late, I hope and pray he will come to his senses, and you will calm down, and hopefully be able to make a go of this, and all will be fine, if not, then consider it a blessing he is gone, and not the one. Maybe God has someone else in store for you, who will marry you and love and treasure you. Don't worry, somehow, someway, it is all going to work out for the best. Tell that man, to be a man, not a a kid, u already have one.
2016-05-23 02:17:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am lucky to get a dinner fixed for me more than once a week.
Most of my issues seem to stem from a lack of intimacy with my wife. It makes me feel rejected, then I start acting like a jerk.
Your husband sounds like he is looking for an excuse to complain about something.
He needs something constructive to do if he has time to think up something meaningless like this. I'm too tired from 14 hour work days and other details at home to worry about dishes.
If the house is reasonably clean and there are meals ( if he's the breadwinner) then he should enjoy a nice hot cup of.........
SHUT THE HELL UP
If you knew me and heard me talk like the male chauvinist that my whole family thinks I am, you would want to listen to what I am telling you.
2007-12-11 07:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by superbill3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he sees a problem, then fix it. Why can't he clean a dish or wipe up a spot if he doesn't think it's clean enough?
No, most men (I've known) don't harp on anything and typically care little about housework or domestic issues (at least not to a griping extent).
You're right...the root problem with your man isn't the dishes, but that's what he's chosen to focus on. Until you determine what the real issue is (or he shares it with you) the fussing will continue. Counseling may be called for if things don't get better...
2007-12-11 07:05:18 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, something is bothering him and it's not the dishes. Until he's willing to talk to you about what the real problem is, you'll just have to deal with what he tells you the problem is.
Tell him since you can't clean the sink to his satisfaction, the sink is now his to clean. Everytime he complains about something that you aren't cleaning or doing "correctly", tell him that he can take it over and clean it the way he wants it cleaned or he can tell you what is really wrong.
2007-12-11 07:42:24 · answer #7 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A dish in the sink? There are a lot more things in life to be upset about than a damn dish. How about he just puts it in the dishwasher next time he sees that.
2007-12-11 07:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by Scott M 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing the dishes for a few days. This is 2007 not 1957. Something is really wrong with him.
My husband helps out or does our dishes himself.
2007-12-11 07:05:27 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's so concerned about a spotless sink, he can keep it clean himself. Shift duties, so that is something that he does, instead of you. I had that problem with my fiancee a while back, and I did what I suggested to you, and now there are no problems, coincidentally enough, about the kitchen sink!
2007-12-11 07:04:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let him be in charge of the dishes! My husband does this a lot about a lot of things until I tell him if he doesn't like the way I do it, he can do it himself. That usually shuts him up. I agree, something else is bothering him.
2007-12-11 07:04:44 · answer #11 · answered by sjm 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋